Jim Sterling (The Jimquisition)

That's not his review. It was written by Laura.

Remember, these idiots drive, fuck, and vote. Not always in that order.

So that explains Nioh's Sterling rating.

This land is peaceful, its inhabitants kind.. ∩(·ω·)∩ WAIT, is this supposed to be the mistress herself?

Horizon manages to tell a story that has robot laser dinosaurs walking around a post-apocalyptic dystopia and have it make absolute perfect logical sense. You have to acknowledge the feat in that.

Try talking about Horizon to Razorfist.

This land is peaceful, its inhabitants kind.. ∩(·ω·)∩ WAIT, is this supposed to be the mistress herself?

Is that the moron who cribbed Iron Maidens font for his logo?

Yookalaylee review is up. Apparently the game seems to have shipped as a broken, buggy mess. Site is running pretty slow right now, guess we'll see if he garners another internet lynch mob.

edited 4th Apr '17 9:09:43 AM by carbon-mantis

Jim's site is down again, due to either traffic or enraged Youka-Laylee fans. (Or maybe tech-savvy racists who can't stand that JonTron was cut from the game.)

Whatever the case, here's an archive where you can read his full review.

"We'll take the next chance, and the next, until we win, or the chances are spent."

I haven't laughed this hard since the last Stupid President Trick.

edited 4th Apr '17 9:36:38 AM by HextarVigar

Your momma's so dumb she thinks oral sex means talking dirty.

Probably a mix of both.

I honestly didn't even know Yooka-Laylee was supposed to be out now.

To be fair, it seems to be a massive case of Love it or Hate it. It seems the deciding factor is how much you want a 90s platformer. Specifically one that take pain to stick to that 90s style, including the flaws.

edited 4th Apr '17 9:46:10 AM by Ghilz

Seems to be mixed reviews for this one, but I was surprised at how scathing Jim was for his review. His main complaint that it's basically the same kind of 90s 3D platforming games everyone played before, which also includes all the warts and boils growing on top of the good bits.

Remember, these idiots drive, fuck, and vote. Not always in that order.

That's not an excuse. That's like saying 'It's not a bug; it's a feature!"

They had two years to get this up to snuff and they couldn't even get the camera right?

Your momma's so dumb she thinks oral sex means talking dirty.

Some people are trying to excuse the stuff Jim complained about, saying that "people wanted this". Some are being serious and others are trolling, so it's hard to tell.

Remember, these idiots drive, fuck, and vote. Not always in that order.

At least it appears to be doing better than Mighty No. 9.

At least it's better than nothing.

Remember, these idiots drive, fuck, and vote. Not always in that order.

Most things do.

Making sure they had good camera control was one of the first things they should have concentrated on. That sort of thing is vital for this sort of game.

Your momma's so dumb she thinks oral sex means talking dirty.

But then it wouldn't be retro enough!

The fact that we have people defending terrible flaws and game design because "that's how it was back in the day", is terrifying.

Remember, these idiots drive, fuck, and vote. Not always in that order.

I was being sarcastic. But I am sure someone out there is making that point honestly.

edited 4th Apr '17 11:44:26 AM by Ghilz

2/10 is flat-out clickbait, IMO.

Not even Sonic 2006 is a 2/10.

No, it's just flat-out Jim Sterling.

Fear the cinnamon sugar swirl. By the Gods, fear it, Laurence.

I like most of Jim's stuff, but no.

I am firmly of the opinion that he has and will continue to give deliberately higher and lower scores than others for the sake of generating controversy.

What's to clickbait if Jim doesn't have advertisements? People keep crying clickbait, but there's nothing to click.

Remember, these idiots drive, fuck, and vote. Not always in that order.