Would this work?

I'm thinking of writing a story post zombie apocalypse where a smart zombie tries to rebuild society, Would it be a dick move if after getting his country/province/new world order up and running (about midway through the story) he starts going insane, flying into fits of rage, generally screwing up everything he worked so hard to build until his closest friends are forced to have him put to death? While on the chopping block he'll have a small bout of sanity and might give a small apology to his executioner to be passed on to his friends. The story will continue after this point but i'm a little worried i'm giving a good character a shitty way to die.

Hmm...this may sound not helpful, but it really depends on execution.

Old style executioner with axe.

Nah, I like it; just don't make it seem like such a Diabolus ex Machina. Try to show that this smart zombie has faults early on (or better yet, use his greatest strength against him), and use those to destroy him, once he's actually come close to achieving what he set out to do. If you do it right, you'll have quite an interesting tale on your hands.

edited 17th Jan '12 9:44:14 PM by tropetown

Well in this story all zombies start out "smart" but their cells divide and die a lot more rapidly than regular humans, this makes all zombies eventually go insane as their brain cells deteriorate.

That sounds like a slightly different version of I Am Legend...

A: there isnt just a few humans left, population is spilt about 60/40 in favor of humans. B: Zombies go insane and so couldnt form their own "new world order" to completely replace old humans. C: The main protagonist isnt human... Actually kinda confused how its like I Am Legend besides the zombies part

Both can be summarized like so:"It's about the undead creating a new society, only for the guy who was supposed to be the hero to screw it up. He's arrested, and immediately before his execution understands that he's a threat to civilization and it's best that he dies."

...Land of the Dead without bothering with the human characters, is what it sounds like to me...

Hmmm, yeah i guess i wasnt exactly going indepth. Its more like " Undead dude helps spearhead humanity's reclamation of Earth, goes insane, arrested and tried by closest friends and sentenced to death, while about to die has a very small window of sanity to quickly apologize before his head rolls" that's the FIRST half of the story, the second half is basically chronicling the nation/whatever you want to call it waging war, brokering peace, all that good stuff that comes out of a zombie induced collapse of society. :)

edited 17th Jan '12 10:20:33 PM by JoeTheEveryman

^^Oh. Yeah, that's sufficiently different that you don't have to worry.

That's pretty cool: I also saw some messianic parallels, as well, minus the going insane part (though, if he was really going around telling people he was the son of God without actually being the son of God...). How is your character going to be viewed in the new society? Is he going to be held up as a messianic figure, or is he going to be demonized? Are his final moments going to be hidden, secret, and obfuscated, or are they going to be common knowledge (actually, you could even make this an interesting take on the gospel accounts; what if Jesus went insane, and the resurrection and ascension were fabrications intended to preserve his memory while making it easier to spread the values he taught all across the world?)?

Part of me wants the answers to those questions, another part of me wants to read the story and find out that way.

edited 17th Jan '12 10:54:34 PM by tropetown

This ain't a bad idea at all, you can totally pull it off.