Hi. I came up with this idea for the main villain of a story I'm plotting (and also the origins of the Artifact of Doom and two other supporting characters). Could you tell me if it's good?
Emperor Gaspard (real name: Tamo Parskold)
Tamo was born about 500 years before the start of the story. Detected at an early age to possess magical ability, he was taken away from his parents (he doesn't know who they were, and doesn't care) and raised in the magical order called the Wind Guardians. It soon became apparent that he was extraordinarily talented with magic, perhaps more talented than any other mage in the Guardians, but he never let it go to his head or went mad with power or anything. He also befriended Larion and Paryk, the two other Guardian apprentices with similar levels of extraordinary power.
When all three of them became full-fledged Guardians, they learned of an artifact called the Shaping Ring, which was created long ago by an evil mage called Depik. Whoever put it on could obtain Depik's power, but at great cost to their sanity; even worse, a curse would be inflicted on everyone around them, which would turn them into a grotesque creature called an Earthborn in an indeterminate amount of time and spawn others from the Earth. Fearful of what people could do with it if they found it, the three resolved to destroy it before it could be used. They found it eventually, in a mountain in southwestern Cestana, but found no way to destroy it; worse, it attached itself to Paryk. Larion managed to shield himself from the curse, but Tamo failed; fortunately for him, his curse would not turn him into an Earthborn for at least ten years. Not wanting their friend to suffer under the ring's magic, Tamo and Larion had Paryk's soul sealed into a mirror and sealed up the cave where they found it.
The curse, however, spread throughout the mountain where they had left the mirror. Within a year, a horde of Earthborn had spawned. They swept across the land like locusts, destroying everything in their path and continuously creating more of themselves. With the Guardians in danger, Tamo and Larion realised what had to be done, and fought back to the mountain to shatter the mirror and remove the Earthborn of their killing instinct. But this was not the end of it: when word spread of the mirror's existence, several factions fought over it, desiring to control the Earthborn for their own ends.
Paryk, however, still had a mind of his own, and had other plans. He broke out of the mirror, still trying to fight off madness, and tried to kill Tamo and Larion for what they did to him. Tamo tried to apologise and say it was a last resort, but the more hot-headed Larion fought back, only retreating when Paryk gained control of the Earthborn curse and spawned yet another horde. Tamo, who was now mostly consumed by the Earthborn curse, fled and went into a magical sleep in order to prolong his life and find help. The help he found, unfortunately, came in the form of Depik, who offered to teach him black magic to make things right with the world and get rid of Paryk and the Earthborn. Tamo accepted, and when he returned to the physical world, he found a horrible sight; the world was now mostly overrun with Earthborn, and the Guardians all but eradicated, with Larion's remnant still holding out, but just barely.
Tamo decided to destroy the Earthborn by placing Paryk's mirror in a spot where they would be drawn to it, and then using his new, more powerful magic to destroy them all. This he did, but the area of land where he did it was devastated and unusable, and Larion was horrified at his friend's use of black magic. Paryk himself, freed from the ring's curse by the destruction of the mirror, decided to fade into the spirit world with it so it could never be used again, and now serves as a sort of "Flying Dutchman" figure.
Having alienated the Guardians by using black magic, Tamo was cast out, and moved to another part of Cestana for a fresh start. Here, he decided the Earthborn could be used for good, and manipulated the curse to create Earthborn as soldiers and slaves. But his good intentions went wrong - the Earthborn greatly disliked this, now that they had free will, and destroyed most of the human land in that region. The uprising was put down, but too late for Tamo to avoid being vilified. With nowhere left to go and with the curse almost completely consuming him, he faded into the spirit world with Paryk, vowing to return to Cestana one day and fix the problems he saw.
Eventually, he did regenerate - in a new, uncursed body, but sickly and worn out and wanting to return to the spirit world. Knowing his death would come soon, Tamo vowed to fix the world of its problems. Creating a new identity for himself as "Gaspard", he worked his way into the good graces of Cestana's emperor and became a trusted advisor, instituting many new policies which helped the country greatly. But, as they say, He Who Fights Monsters...
Gaspard felt the Emperor to be ineffectual, and through political machinations had the Emperor overthrown and declared a traitor. With none of his family available to succeed him, Gaspard was declared Emperor. It was around this time he used magic to create his four servants, who would serve him on the council - in reality, they were constructs meant to take over from him when the illness (one which took many years to kill, but left him in agony that whole time) finally took him. While he had strong economic and military policy, jealousy still guided him - the now-dead Larion, who had vilified Tamo after his departure and gone on to become a distinguished soldier in the Dragon Wars a few years later, was now considered a great hero, and Tamo was painted as his arch-enemy. Disgusted, Gaspard decided to disband and eliminate the Guardians, seeing them as a threat to his power (being that Larion was one of their heroes). This is where the story begins, with the Guardians as a clandestine organisation and Gaspard's lieutenants coming to eliminate them.
Hi. I came up with this idea for the main villain of a story I'm plotting (and also the origins of the Artifact of Doom and two other supporting characters). Could you tell me if it's good?
Emperor Gaspard (real name: Tamo Parskold)
Tamo was born about 500 years before the start of the story. Detected at an early age to possess magical ability, he was taken away from his parents (he doesn't know who they were, and doesn't care) and raised in the magical order called the Wind Guardians. It soon became apparent that he was extraordinarily talented with magic, perhaps more talented than any other mage in the Guardians, but he never let it go to his head or went mad with power or anything. He also befriended Larion and Paryk, the two other Guardian apprentices with similar levels of extraordinary power.
When all three of them became full-fledged Guardians, they learned of an artifact called the Shaping Ring, which was created long ago by an evil mage called Depik. Whoever put it on could obtain Depik's power, but at great cost to their sanity; even worse, a curse would be inflicted on everyone around them, which would turn them into a grotesque creature called an Earthborn in an indeterminate amount of time and spawn others from the Earth. Fearful of what people could do with it if they found it, the three resolved to destroy it before it could be used. They found it eventually, in a mountain in southwestern Cestana, but found no way to destroy it; worse, it attached itself to Paryk. Larion managed to shield himself from the curse, but Tamo failed; fortunately for him, his curse would not turn him into an Earthborn for at least ten years. Not wanting their friend to suffer under the ring's magic, Tamo and Larion had Paryk's soul sealed into a mirror and sealed up the cave where they found it.
The curse, however, spread throughout the mountain where they had left the mirror. Within a year, a horde of Earthborn had spawned. They swept across the land like locusts, destroying everything in their path and continuously creating more of themselves. With the Guardians in danger, Tamo and Larion realised what had to be done, and fought back to the mountain to shatter the mirror and remove the Earthborn of their killing instinct. But this was not the end of it: when word spread of the mirror's existence, several factions fought over it, desiring to control the Earthborn for their own ends.
Paryk, however, still had a mind of his own, and had other plans. He broke out of the mirror, still trying to fight off madness, and tried to kill Tamo and Larion for what they did to him. Tamo tried to apologise and say it was a last resort, but the more hot-headed Larion fought back, only retreating when Paryk gained control of the Earthborn curse and spawned yet another horde. Tamo, who was now mostly consumed by the Earthborn curse, fled and went into a magical sleep in order to prolong his life and find help. The help he found, unfortunately, came in the form of Depik, who offered to teach him black magic to make things right with the world and get rid of Paryk and the Earthborn. Tamo accepted, and when he returned to the physical world, he found a horrible sight; the world was now mostly overrun with Earthborn, and the Guardians all but eradicated, with Larion's remnant still holding out, but just barely.
Tamo decided to destroy the Earthborn by placing Paryk's mirror in a spot where they would be drawn to it, and then using his new, more powerful magic to destroy them all. This he did, but the area of land where he did it was devastated and unusable, and Larion was horrified at his friend's use of black magic. Paryk himself, freed from the ring's curse by the destruction of the mirror, decided to fade into the spirit world with it so it could never be used again, and now serves as a sort of "Flying Dutchman" figure.
Having alienated the Guardians by using black magic, Tamo was cast out, and moved to another part of Cestana for a fresh start. Here, he decided the Earthborn could be used for good, and manipulated the curse to create Earthborn as soldiers and slaves. But his good intentions went wrong - the Earthborn greatly disliked this, now that they had free will, and destroyed most of the human land in that region. The uprising was put down, but too late for Tamo to avoid being vilified. With nowhere left to go and with the curse almost completely consuming him, he faded into the spirit world with Paryk, vowing to return to Cestana one day and fix the problems he saw.
Eventually, he did regenerate - in a new, uncursed body, but sickly and worn out and wanting to return to the spirit world. Knowing his death would come soon, Tamo vowed to fix the world of its problems. Creating a new identity for himself as "Gaspard", he worked his way into the good graces of Cestana's emperor and became a trusted advisor, instituting many new policies which helped the country greatly. But, as they say, He Who Fights Monsters...
Gaspard felt the Emperor to be ineffectual, and through political machinations had the Emperor overthrown and declared a traitor. With none of his family available to succeed him, Gaspard was declared Emperor. It was around this time he used magic to create his four servants, who would serve him on the council - in reality, they were constructs meant to take over from him when the illness (one which took many years to kill, but left him in agony that whole time) finally took him. While he had strong economic and military policy, jealousy still guided him - the now-dead Larion, who had vilified Tamo after his departure and gone on to become a distinguished soldier in the Dragon Wars a few years later, was now considered a great hero, and Tamo was painted as his arch-enemy. Disgusted, Gaspard decided to disband and eliminate the Guardians, seeing them as a threat to his power (being that Larion was one of their heroes). This is where the story begins, with the Guardians as a clandestine organisation and Gaspard's lieutenants coming to eliminate them.
Insert vaguely inspirational quote here.