Parents' responsibilities in childbirth and infancy periods

Since abortion is such a broad issue with multiple considerations, I thought I would talk about just one, and one that is more neglected.

A concern about abortion debate is that many times it's only about rights. On one hand you have the debate of "When is this baby really a living baby", and associated right to life. Then you have issues with women's rights over their bodies.

The question is, is it all about just rights? I see that rational human beings with rights also should act responsibly. So what are responsibilities of parents in this issue?

Please try to avoid debates about "When does life start"; I found the attempts to be futile.

Yes, it's all about rights. You own yourself fully: Nobody is entitled to demand your service.

For example, you can't be forced to raise a child: You can give it up. Why? 'Cause the goddamn kid has no inherent right to your service.

But see, that attitude gives this message:

1) Everything for which you have a right is morally right. 2) Society should just retreat from the sense of responsibility.

Abortion is a way to correct the results of an earlier action. But we shouldn't be overdependent on that. I think there's deficiency in more responsible parenthood and future planning, and we should encourage people to have more of those.

I do give that message deliberately: Your own life is your own business: I don't give a damn 'bout if whatever you do is moral or not, 'cause it's none of my business in the first place.

So you don't care about the well-being of a responsible society?

That makes me sad.

^^ So you don't care to presume how other people should lead their lives?

That makes me happy.

Nope: We've compromised too much of our liberty in the vain and futile hope of a moral (whatever that means) and responsible society. That kind of moralistic bullshit (that we should renounce our freedoms for the sake of society) belongs on the trash heap of history.

edited 1st Dec '11 2:57:09 PM by SavageHeathen

I'm not talking about society in terms of state. I'm saying it in terms of a collection of responsible individuals.

Just because you have certain rights doesn't mean we should just stop all encouragements. That's why there's education. We want them to prosper and have good citizenship, even if ultimately it's their choice to go the other way.

As long as I can exercise my rights without reprisal, encourage all you want: Your business.

So if you're a parent, how would you manage your child?

For what it's worth (and it ain't worth much) I'd try to raise my kids to the best of my ability. Then again, my ability to deal with small kids is abysmal to begin with...

I'm lousy with small kids. In all likelihood, I'd probably make a much better stepfather, assuming I take care of kids who are 10+.

edited 1st Dec '11 3:03:44 PM by SavageHeathen

So what is the responsible thing to do if you're pregnant, in your view?

edited 1st Dec '11 3:03:37 PM by abstractematics

I'm a dude, I can't get pregnant. Still, if I were a pregnant woman I'd probably abort: I've got zero confidence in my ability to successfully raise a kid from infancy to adulthood. Whether it'd be right, I dunno. It'd probably be the path of least suffering and disappointment, though.

There are only two questions to ask oneself in that situation...

• Are you able to properly raise a kid?
• Do you want to?

edited 1st Dec '11 3:08:03 PM by SavageHeathen

If you weren't confident, then isn't it responsible to just avoid becoming pregnant?

Birth control is not infallible and abstinence is not acceptable.

edited 1st Dec '11 3:14:03 PM by SavageHeathen

First, we know that we don't have foolproof control over the consequences, but we should do our best to manage them - the solution isn't always to just try to cover them up.

And why isn't abstinence acceptable?

Because going without sex is unhealthy and stressful.

Considering that we can get rid of them for minimal hassle and cost, yes, we do have fool-proof control over the consequences.

That pretty much sums it up: Abstinence is evil.

edited 1st Dec '11 3:20:25 PM by SavageHeathen

But not everyone is married, in a two-person relationship, etc. I wouldn't say abstinence is unacceptable for everyone.

I'm talking about life in general. If you try to live under the assumption that you'll stubbornly refuse reality until everything is just as planned, you'll be quickly disappointed.

I don't think Heathen is the one refusing reality here.

Not me. I can't get pregnant (what with having two beans and a frank) but even if I got a girl pregnant unplanned and unforeseen I'm man enough to care for the kid. I'd never abort under any circumstance barring life-threatening (because somebody's gonna die either way).

I might not be the best father, hell I might not even turn out to be a good father by today's standards but at least I'm man enough to be Daddy the whole time.

OP: A responsible parent will take suitable steps and precautions to avoid harming their child. In addition, they will provide suitable resources to care for their well-being and foster their growth into mature adults, by meeting Basic Human Needs. Feed them, shelter them, clothe them, interact with them, stuff like that. Extra stuff is gravy, but provided that the parent makes earnest efforts to meet the fundamental needs, then that's fine. I think that's a reasonable thing to ask a parent to do, until such time that the child is able to move out and take care of themselves.

At least, I would hope that a responsible parent would do all that.

If someone doesn't want to be a parent and takes the needed steps to avoid breeding, then the question of what would they do as a parent is kind of silly. They wouldn't even be one. Savage Heathen, for the sake of example, may make a dreadful parent but that's okay, as he has expressed an inclination to not want to be a father at all.

Thus, I'm not bothered by his vies at all.

I see.

However, if we assume that a baby is at a mature stage so we can call it human, I would say just giving up isn't the most responsible thing to do. By then, you're already a parent in the sense that there's a new human being. Then can one say so easily that one doesn't want to be a parent anymore?

Everyones rights are bound to be the responsibility of others.

If the child has the right to live, the parent has the responsibility to make that happen.

^^ By saying "giving it up", are you implying adoption? I think that adoption meets the requirements for taking care of the child - you either cannot or are unwilling, so you relenquish responsibility and control and hopefully, the child gets taken care of by someone who wants the child.

Hopefully.

I'd prefer that the biological parents care for the child, but that's just a personal preference. It's not always attainable. There are peopel who would make perfectly suitable parents but are biologically unable to bear children, and there are those who are perfectly capable of bearing children but are ill-suited to care for them. Seems a simple matter of passing the child to thsoe who want it, yes?