*TFS* Hellsing Ultimate Abridged

"Nobody does."

Honestly, I feel like that bit could have ended with the Jewish Catholics.

I wasn't expecting this to all boil down to hating the new pope for them but it does seem like something a type like Maxwell would start a crusade over. And it was hilarious.

I mean, in the original series he was a bit fundamentalist and conservative. And a zealot. And "a bit" is a massive understatement.

Funny thing is that I think Francis wasn't the Pope at the time when TFS released the first episode Maxwell was in. So even though not much time could have passed between episodes in-series.

I do like that America has completely imploded offscreen for reasons wholly unrelated to the plot.

In the original version Millenium did have something to do with it, but. I like this version better.

If there's one thing America can probably handle, it's Nazi Vampires.

If there's one thing America almost certainly can't handle, it's America.

As much as I love the Klan and Salvation Army jokes I really do think my favorite thing in the whole episode was the Jewish crusaders.

"If it involves killing Nazis we'll worship a side of bacon!"

As a Jewish person I thought that was amazing.

Like, I can't speak for all Jewish people, but I liked it partly because I really didn't think that they were the butt of the joke there. It was really deft and well-done. And it makes Maxwell more of a hypocrite.

Like. My favorite thing is the fact that the KKK is working with both Jews and Catholics. That's probably more insulting to them than anything else. They're both hypocritical and stupid.

EDIT: Huh. I didn't know Kaiser was voicing Pip now.

edited 1st Feb '16 7:03:58 PM by unnoun

I like that they were Polish.

That was the best part.

Second everything Unnoun sound on that gag. Easily the best part.

You know, I just read the best analogy describing Alucard. He's like Sterling Archer if he was a vampire. Really, the Hellsing Organization here is like ISIS if it hunted vampires (and other miscellaneous creatures).

edited 15th Feb '16 9:35:58 AM by LSBK

Ooooh! New episodes. This sort of fell of my radar for... some years.

...So are they going to be doing The Dawn?

...Relatedly, is Girlycard still going to be voiced by Taka? I mean, I know that's how the anime adaptations have done it, but.

Presumably Alucard is capable of changing his voice?

Maybe if there's a lady that can do a really good impression of Taka's Alucard voice?

Also, I'm curious about how they'll handle Dandyman, Rip Van Winkle and Luke Valentine when they come back in episodes. I wanna say 8 and 10? Or 9, maybe?

Dandyman and Rip didn't do much in the source material, but TFS is scarily good at editing for a joke.

The best episodes of the source material are coming up.

...I know the Captain doesn't talk, and they seem to be keeping that trait of his, but that means it'll be hard to make him funny.

edited 16th Feb '16 4:38:53 AM by unnoun

The first joke that came to mind for the Captain was that Pip and Seras are such Sickeningly Sweet Sweethearts that he purposefully gives Seras the means to kill him just so he won't have to bother with them anymore.

...Although, actually, come to think of it, tossing a medical kit at Heinkel after shooting a hole through her face is almost funny enough.

I don't think a bandaid would help with that. Not much in a medkit would. Like, yeah, stitches, and disinfectant, but.

Make the scene linger just long enough for the inherent absurdity of it to sink in. Cut back and forth between them.

edited 15th Feb '16 6:36:48 PM by unnoun

What I found kinda crazy at that was the fact that she was still bandaged during the epilogue which was, like, what, ten years later? Also, Seras was still missing her arm despite the fact that she totally can regrow it since she should have nearly every ability Alucard did.

I mean, that's Pip's arm now. I'm guessing it's for their alone time.

...Next episode should have something good with Shrodinger in it.

I've rewatched some of the original recently, and.

Like, it's honestly kinda weird how comedic the tone is to begin with at times.

I watched the first four episodes of the OVA, and was caught off guard by this scene from when they're trying to figure out what Millennium is and Walter mentions something about Star Wars of all things.

The source material is great. It's probably a reason why this series is as great as it is. They're given a lot to work with.

Zelenal, the epilogue was 30 years later.

I mean.

God I'm looking forward to Anderson holding his mostly-severed arm with his teeth.

It's kind of fantastic. And not just because it's basically a Monty Python sketch.

Like. It's rare for either version of Alucard to show "surprise" or "shock" but I don't think we've seen much emotional or dramatic range from Taka's Alucard.

Like. The fact that Alucard was raped is something that in some ways makes Taka's portrayal. A little weird and uncomfortable in some ways, (all the sexual harassment) but. Like, TFS is capable of emotional storytelling and drama and in some ways Alucard overcompensating for trauma is a potentially interesting approach? Maybe? It's sorta a similar approach to the way they're handling things with FFVII abridged, which Taka is also in charge of.

And.

I still am waiting on how they can make Level 0 funny. Level 0 is sort of the big spectacle moment of the show. It's like Hellsing's equivalent to the first Super Saiyan transformation almost.

I decided to rewatch the series mainly because I forgot just how the hell Alucard gets back to the plot. And.

How does he get the boat to move?

edited 15th Feb '16 7:04:48 PM by unnoun

He asked politely.

I mean.

I know Dracula can create storms somehow, and control the weather, but.

But it's not a sailboat.

It's an aircraft carrier with a broken fighter jet sticking out of it.

edited 15th Feb '16 7:20:13 PM by unnoun

I think the most we ever got was that he was willing it to move. You should probably just chalk it up to "generic vampire power" they have a lot of miscellaneous ones after all.