"Fad" bisexuality versus sexual fluidity

Spun off of a thread in Writer's Block:

There's an idea floating around that a large number of people who say they're bisexual are faking it because they think bisexual people are cool and special. As proof, it's argued that a large number of these people only date a few people of the same sex before entering committed opposite-sex relationships.

The only people amongst the older generation of my family who've dated members of the same sex are those who're exclusively attracted to the same sex—if there were any bisexuals, society was sufficiently repressive to prevent them from realizing their inclinations. If I had grown up in their time, I would never have admitted to myself that I sometimes find men attractive. I have a feeling that this makes me what people are calling a "fad bisexual"—and that as acceptance of bisexuality increases, these people will turn out to be common, maybe even the majority of the population.

I guess I ought to end this with a question, but I feel like ending it with a statement instead: if I think a guy's cute, I'm not going to tell myself that I'm only attracted to him because I want to feel special.

I wonder how that is supposed to proof anything. Relationships don't depend on attraction alone, so there are multiple ways to explain this statistic (if it's true). Like, if the sex doesn't matter to one attraction-wise, than the ability to have biological children with your partner may.

Ok I may have interpreted this wrong but there is an idea that to be bi you have to settle with someone of the same gender to count as an authentic bi and if you happen to date a few people of the same gender then enter a committed relationship with someone of the opposite gender that makes you a 'fad' bi? Because if so that doesn't make much sense at all.

I guess there are people out there who think being bi is a cool idea or that it gives them extra cred but without knowing whether they genuinely do feel an attraction to both genders you can't really label them and neither should you in the first place as sexuality is a personal thing.

I have experienced a case where someone I knew came out as bi and everyone just assumed that he was doing it for the attention, I myself was not sure because it wouldn't be beyond him to try a stunt like that but then I realised it just isn't my business.

edited 21st Aug '11 4:02:43 AM by PiccoloNo92

Surely, if you settle with someone of the same gender then by the same logic you're actually gay? Real bisexuals get a quota of the number of people of each gender they must date before they are considered to be the real thing?

No it doesn't really make much sense.

To be considered a real bi, you must either settle with an intersexual or with one person of each gender. In a sexually free alternate universe version of Utah, probably.

What if you marry a man and make a career of drawing breasts?

Yeah, bisexuals seem to get attacked from both ways. If they end up with someone of the opposite sex, people act as if they are really straight and were just "experimenting" or doing it for the attention, while if they end up with someone of the same sex, they are just gay and trying to cover it.

People find it difficult to comprehend how someone can be attracted to both genders if they are dating one person (who is most likely of a single gender). If they remain monogamous, the attraction to the other gender*

edited 21st Aug '11 5:00:48 AM by Drakyndra

@Weasel The Mormons haven't practiced polygomy (Warren Jeffs and other extremests not withstanding) since it stopped being legal to shoot them on sight. And even then, the polygomy was an out growth of persicution - being shot - not a religious doctrain.

As to the Topic. I believe what is more likely is that a some number of these people are bi-courious, or perhaps gays who just aren't ready to come completely out of the cleset yet.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Sucks for them.

I'm bisexual. Outta the closet with a few close friends and relatives... I keep everyone else on a need-to-know basis: That way I get to avoid the annoying biphobic comments.

I would say that "bicuriousity" is a fad, but not actually being bisexual. Also I know people (mostly girls) who say they are bi when they are actually lesbian so that they will be accepted more.

I know a lot of girls who are straight who say they are bisexual (and fill their facebook profiles with pictures of them kissing other girls) to look sexy, unique, "quirky", intelligent or what have you. Most lesbians I know are very proud and open about it (or they used to be completely secretive and in denial).

The hostility towards bisexual people even from gay people sickens me greatly. What really gets me is when people just dismiss bi people as being greedy because 'liking both guys and girls means you want them all at the same time'. If only there were a smiley angry enough.

edited 21st Aug '11 9:49:35 AM by PiccoloNo92

Well, I live in the South, so people (mostly adults) aren't so hot on homosexuality. They see it as, at least if you're bi it could just be a "phase".

Unique and "quirky" just like everyone else?

I'm quite positive I've met fad bisexuals in high school. Seeing how they freaked the fuck out and dropped the act when a gay guy hit on them.

So yes, it happens, and it's pretty damn disrespectful to people who are actually bisexual.

This. I've met more than a few people like that as well.

I know more bi people then les/gay people. Then again, one of them is probably going trhrough a phase (she's that kind of girl).

I only know three people (two women and a man) who claim to be bisexual and actually follow through with it, each one having had multiple, long and fruitful relationships with people of both genders, sexual and romantic. The vast majority, as I said, are doing it for the attention they get from stupid people.

edited 21st Aug '11 3:49:40 PM by InsomniacWeasel

I'm in high school. So I know a lot of people.

edited 21st Aug '11 3:52:44 PM by Erock

@OP: And here I thought this shit was confine to HS.

I wonder how much bisexuality is just omnisexuality; a libido so strong it doesn't discriminate against genders. I know that's how I function sexually. "A hole's a hole and a pole's a pole." I run off physical responses, so any gender, race or psychological aspects are there just or fetishism. I'd also note whether "fad" bisexuality is any less legitimate than "the real thing" love is love and sex is sex, right?

Well the criticism of fad bisexuality is that there are people who claim to be bisexual without any of the genuine feelings that come with it, they just label themselves as such because it is the 'in' thing at the moment and they think it'll boost their status for whatever reason. I'd be hesitant to use that against someone anyway as it is not my business to tell someone what their true feelings are.

As to what extent that bisexuality is just omnisexuality? There is a noticeable difference I feel but I can't think of the best way to explain it atm... Watch this space!

edited 25th Aug '11 4:26:18 PM by PiccoloNo92

No need, besides I doubt you could, there have been PH Ds who broke their brains on the subject.

I meant how many "bisexuals" are actually omnisexuals.

edited 25th Aug '11 4:37:32 PM by JusticeMan

How many "heterosexuals" are actually omnisexuals in denial?