Opinions

Okay so long story short I'm am a teen looking to make a career off writing stories... I personally like getting opinions on my various story ideas and such, so thats all I'm looking for ideas, opinions, etc. my current story is about a group a teens who wake up in an alternate world with magical powers. After their Determinator dies, their resident group Jerkass leaves because he blames himself for being useless. he splits off from the group and nearly dies from an attack by a creature whom i have not decided what it will be. he is about half dead when crawls his way to a shrine containing a wind spirit who rules over the wind realm basically he makes a contract giving up his freedom for all her (The spirit's) power. basically it's a sharing a body situation. The Jerkass whom I named Milo becomes a sort of villain type character to the main group consisting of all his friends. how does it sound as a story?

edited 16th Jul '11 4:39:22 PM by Phiren

My opinion is yes.

But seriously, at least give us something to give you our opinions/ideas ABOUT.

*Looks around*

Well, the first thing you'll have to do is post some of your stuff.

Edit: Darn it Sheep.

edited 16th Jul '11 4:27:16 PM by Seamus

sorry guys my post was delayed I meant to post the basic plot of this story but my computer sucks and posted wrong... Im running off windows millenium so yeah... Milo becomes a much nicer character as the book goes on and performing the many evil tasks the spirit orders him to perform... basically destroying villages, killing people, etc... eventually refusing to listen to the spirit and trying to suppress her and seal her away to prevent a super powered evil takeover.

meanwhile the others in the group are attempting to find Milo and these ancinet relics in order to get home and stop the evil spirit from aquiring the artifacts and gaining supreme god-like powers which is the spirits real goal but Milo being Milo doesn't realize this until the end which is when he makes a last minute heel face turn eventually he suppresses the spirit, the relics get detroyed, and Milo our protagonist falls into a coma

edited 16th Jul '11 4:57:23 PM by Phiren

Requisite comment pointing out that essentially nobody, including published authors, makes their living writing stories.

edited 16th Jul '11 5:09:13 PM by jewelleddragon

well im pretty much set with money anyway i just think theirs no harm in trying to do it ya know?

IMO plot summaries rarely sound compelling unless you're writing the kind of story that's all about shoving as many Lowest Common Denominator things in.

Well people are entitled to their personal opinions frankly I'm just looking for opinions on this outside my usual sources and i come to this site quite frequently so I figured give it a try.. I know the plot summaries kinda bad and rushed but that kinda all the detail I got on it right know I just started actually writing this story a few days ago and I would like it to be better or at least on par with my other stories i've done that i've been told have been pretty good.

edited 16th Jul '11 5:18:21 PM by Phiren

What I'm sayin' is, it's hard to judge a work just from its summary. In all honesty what you posted so far doesn't sound interesting at all to me but it's possible that when I read the actual thing I'll be amazed and love it to death. Why don't you just write the thing already and ask for opinions then?

First of all: When you want to be taken seriously, follow basic grammar rules at least. This means capitalizing the first word of a sentence, using commas every now and again, not using ellipses instead of periods all the time, apostrophes are your friend, avoid run-on sentences (This one especially!) etc. If you don't know basic grammar rules, you should learn them before you try writing something. You did most of those things right at least some of the time, so I assume you know how to follow the rules. Thing is, you didn't a lot of the time too. Doing so makes you sound lazy and/or uneducated, and people (if only subconsciously) start thinking of both you and your ideas that way, making them far less likely to give you positive advice. Just remember: Put a little bit of thought into what you're going to say beforehand and proofread what you write before you post. People will respond more positively, guaranteed.

But as for the actual story: it sounds workable, but the thing about summaries is they can't be accurately judged. For example, in my opinion, Twilight actually sounds pretty good as a summary. The problem I have with it lies in the execution, which I feel Smeyer ruined. Summaries can only be given a pass/fail, and very few summaries automatically fail. EVERYTHING is execution.

I assume you haven't written any of this yet, because you're here asking us if we would like it. We don't know, and we can't know. So here's my advice: Start writing it. You already have an outline, just go put pencil to paper, write a chapter or so, and see if YOU like it. At the end of the day, the most important person to this story is you. If you decide you don't like the plot, you don't have to finish it (though this is can be a dangerous choice, let me tell you). If you can't write a character properly, ask us for advice then, and I'm sure we'd be glad to help.

Once you have something written that you're happy with, let us see it, and again I'm sure we'll be perfectly happy to give you our opinions at that point in time.

Wow, this went on for way longer than I originally intended. I've probably been ninja'd like 5 times by now.

EDIT: I have! Also: Mellon knows where it's at.

edited 16th Jul '11 5:27:30 PM by TheEarthSheep

Yeah I know the summary is crappy... and my grammar is off honestly i suck at typing I'm a much better at writing

edited 16th Jul '11 5:36:57 PM by Phiren

If you can write, I'm sure it wouldn't be too difficult to apply the same rules to typing.

Just making a little bit of effort can make a world of difference.

That last sentence kinda sounded like a line out of a tv show ... just pointing it out

okay so this story has many characters;I will continue by describing them and their relationship with other characters. This is really where I looking for opinions i guess know that I actually think about it.

Milo-protagonist of some sort where he is villain or not has yet to be determined. starts off and originally portrayed as a Jerkass/all powerful god I am, but slowly turns into an Atoner/apologetic attacker. falls in love with the spirit inhabiting his body. best friends with James. He will do anything for power and respect. eventually starts hiding behind a mask because he is ashamed of his past actions and not having any viable reason for why he did what he did, other than the usual "I was just following orders".

James- deadpan/Snark knight. portrayed as a smart ass who cares for his friends. consistently mocks Milo for giving up his freedom for power. focuses on control of his ice manipulation powers. does not understand love. He will state his opinion or facts in any situation despite the fact that it might get him killed. He would rather not act as a leader and would rather stay out of other peoples business.

there are more characters I will post but these are the first two. well yeah you guys get the point I apologize for bad grammar or confusion

edited 16th Jul '11 6:04:28 PM by Phiren

...And somehow your grammar managed to get worse. Nobody is going to read through your paragraph-long run-on sentence to figure out what it's actually saying.

Seriously.

I read it, but I didn't really get much comprehension from it.

I still have the same advice: Start writing. You're a more important judge than we could ever be.