All Purpose Naruto Fanfiction Thread

I was just trying to think of a scenario whereby Minato would be put at a disadvantage so he wouldn't just stomp his enemy into dust.

Attacking Konoha under a competent Minato is suicide. It doesn't matter who you are when you do it, you will not succeed. Minato, Sarutobi, the Sannin (or at least Jiraiya and Orochimaru), Fugaku, Itachi and a Happy!Kakashi - and if it gets down to it, they can call up the First and the Second

Really, attacking Konoha under a competent Hokage, regardless of who it is, is instant Death.

'Cause no Hokage worth his ore her salt wouldn't learn Edo Tensei in case it was needed. If things are going grim, just bring back people who would be willing to defend Konoha using criminals as sacrifices.

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari

Don't be absurd! That would be unethical. And as we all know, ninja care so much about ethics.

Even their torture and interrogation division only uses the rack, the soft cushions and comfy chair would be inhumane.

@Hyper Blade

I challenge you to have two characters from Wait, Did That Happen Before run afoul of the Potara earrings!

You just know you want to see the result of Ino and Sakura fusing. Inura! Sakuno! Haruno Sakuno... Yamanaka Hakuno... Kishimoto... Kishinami... Ohboyoboyoboy! I found out where the protagonist from Fate Extra comes from!

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari

Even though I'm not into DB, I'd still like to see the Ino/Sakura fusion.

Rather than smart, I'd prefer to be wise. It would let me be silly more often.

Ino+Sakura is unfortunately not very visually interesting, they dress almost exactly the same. It'd just end up as a longer and lighter pink haired Sakura dressed in magenta and a few fishnets.

Yeah. I mean, Sakura+Shino would be more interesting for the Potara Earings anyway.

Indeed.

Sakuno: Actually, I don't feel all that different from when I was just Saku-OH GOD, WHY ARE THERE BUGS IN THERE?!

That'd be a better power combination than Ino-Sakura. Astral projection shenanigans don't have much synergy I can see with punching or medicine, but medicine and obedient bugs? That's got some potential.

How about astral-projecting Inner Sakura at people to drive them crazy?

Rather than smart, I'd prefer to be wise. It would let me be silly more often.

Oh right, Inner Sakura. I keep forgetting that was a thing, now that Sakura's got actual powers.

That just puts to mind a hypothetical Drow Cleric of Lolth that can spew spiders from her privates as a concealed weapon.

That's an...interesting conceptual jump. You spend a lot of time thinking about what clerics of Lolth hide up their privates?

Oh, no not particularly. It's just such a striking concept, so when the proposed Sakura+Shino was concerned about the peculiar placement of it's bugs, I confess it jumped straight to mind. It certainly sounds like something Shino would do, y'know, as a joke if he were a girl.

Like on her wedding night she finally takes off her jacket and the lucky husband says, "Oh my goodness, you have elbows and knees, I'd never have guessed!"

Then Shino just smiles and expels two solid pounds of spiders, realising only after the hasty divorce that maybe her joke was in poor taste.

If he can't handle the odd bugsplosion, it was never meant to be.

The end result of a female Shino would be... wait, what's the name of the half spider half woman things? Was it drider? Shit, I can't remember...

Anyway, I'd totally read a fic in which Shino turns into one of these, with added Kiba thinking it's awesome and Kurenai with a deadpan "I've seen weirder".

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari

I think it is Jorougumo.

"Please crush me with your heels Esdeath-sama!

Driders are the half spider half drow centaur-like things. Lower body consists of a massive spider, upper body is a dark elf.

Jorougumo is a spider demon that can take on the form of a woman.

So it was a Drider, right.

I'd be totally into a fic where Shino becomes one of those.

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari

Irony, I don't know how to break this to you, but I'm pretty sure that's already a thing.

Oh, the irony.

Rather than smart, I'd prefer to be wise. It would let me be silly more often.

I could totally see Shino fusing with a spider. All he has to do is find a big enough one and bug Kiba into teaching him to do the beast combination thingy.

I see what you did there, and I have to tell you, it just bugs me.

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari