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Elcenia:

Mage of Life-Breath-Doom
First new Elcenia chapter things are still unfolding but overall the introduction is good, I feel that the two girls deserve a little punishnment for what they did, it pretty much ammounts to a crime, but lets see the consequences later.
"Here to welcome our new golden-eyed overlords," said Addy promptly.
 2 Anya Reine, Sat, 9th Jul '11 11:19:34 AM from Ferelden Relationship Status: I know
Witch of the Wilds
I was kind of put off by how calm Rhysel was acting, though that was explained as an effect of some sort of empathic magic.

Did the girls break any sort of rules summoning someone without permission from the person being summoned and or their parents or teachers?

edited 9th Jul '11 11:20:31 AM by AnyaReine

"If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do."
 3 Alicorn, Sat, 9th Jul '11 1:35:04 PM from The Belltower Relationship Status: Mu
Lady Luminosity
Yep, the girls definitely broke some rules. They're in truh-buhl.
Sometimes I write things.
Mage of Life-Breath-Doom
I know it is a story, so there is some leeway, but in any realistic scenario, the two shouldbe either arrested (or go to Juvie) or Rynsel should try to hurt them badly.
"Here to welcome our new golden-eyed overlords," said Addy promptly.
 5 Alicorn, Sat, 9th Jul '11 1:51:29 PM from The Belltower Relationship Status: Mu
Lady Luminosity
If Rhysel were going to try to hurt them, let alone badly, Keo wouldn't have let her out of the circle.
Sometimes I write things.
 6 Anya Reine, Sat, 9th Jul '11 1:57:49 PM from Ferelden Relationship Status: I know
Witch of the Wilds
Rhysel is much more forgiving than me. Lol
"If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do."
Mage of Life-Breath-Doom
[up]And me, also the Elcenia vampires are interesting.
"Here to welcome our new golden-eyed overlords," said Addy promptly.
Random Encounter
I know it is a story, so there is some leeway, but in any realistic scenario, the two shouldbe either arrested (or go to Juvie) or Rynsel should try to hurt them badly.
I dunno, not knowing the whole cosmology (and bearing in mind how poorly disingenuous language translates over the internet; sorry in advance) I don't think it's as bad as all that. Inconveniencing the greater universe doesn't seem like it warrants jail time or physical violence. If it turns out there are, say, cthuloid horrors lurking around the cracks and corners, waiting to hijack a poorly worded summon...yeah, suspension at the least. With minimal evidence, though, it sort of looks like they were aiming to summon something unusual, but relatively (very relatively) mundane. Moderately powerful spellcaster warrants concern, apology, maybe a civil suit if you grabbed an American analog by mistake, but it's hardly life-threatening in either direction.

They seem like nice-if-not-wise kids. Their education is already being partially defined from their mistake, but I can see some short term punishment in their future in spite of that.

This is...interesting, so far. Light infodumping, occasionally odd speakingways, but definite cleverness. In a vacuum, I'd be a little cautious of this story. Green-haired dragon women married to elven wizard headmasters have a lot of potential for hackney. However, given Luminosity and the very deliberate way certain forms of world-changing magic are brought up, I remain curious.

The great thing about this combination is it feeds my dorky engineer side (because there are enough references to make me think the magic here will have some nice body to go with the flavor) and my dorky sociologist side (because I doubt we're going to end up with another "Oh, yeah, wizards can do anything but they don't want to" problem you see in a certain other school of wizardry).

...And, now, brevity: Looks cool, Alicorn! This going to have the same Friday update schedule Luminosity had?
...italics.
 9 Alicorn, Sat, 9th Jul '11 3:44:00 PM from The Belltower Relationship Status: Mu
Lady Luminosity
Nope, this is going to update Tuesday and Saturday.
Sometimes I write things.
Random Encounter
This works for me.

EDIT: Oh, also, thought. As the author, how bad an idea do you think it would be to read the background info before Elcenia really gets going? Or would that be a helpful way to catch background details or...whatever?

edited 10th Jul '11 8:04:01 AM by twasBrillig

...italics.
 11 Alicorn, Sun, 10th Jul '11 10:01:53 AM from The Belltower Relationship Status: Mu
Lady Luminosity
The pages should all have actual plot/character spoilers carefully tucked away behind tags, so it's up to you if you want/need the extra info. The pages are in large part there to mitigate my horrendous tendency to drop unremitting data dumps; they let me think "well, if anyone *really* cares about the form of government in Larotia, they can go read about it on the page about Larotia, so I don't need to bring it up here when it doesn't matter for the story or provide interesting character development".
Sometimes I write things.
Mage of Life-Breath-Doom
[up]How exactly same sex reproduction are possible in Elcenia? Magic?

edited 10th Jul '11 10:59:31 AM by Bluelantern2814

"Here to welcome our new golden-eyed overlords," said Addy promptly.
 13 Alicorn, Sun, 10th Jul '11 11:50:34 AM from The Belltower Relationship Status: Mu
Lady Luminosity
Yes. This is a *very* high-magic setting.
Sometimes I write things.
Rysel's job description presummoning appears to be some variation of emergency first responder, in which case she has probably seen so many cases of stupidity/inexperience caused mayhem that all emotional reaction to it has been largely burned out, to be replaced with "And how do I fix this mess?".
 
 15 Alicorn, Mon, 11th Jul '11 9:11:37 PM from The Belltower Relationship Status: Mu
Lady Luminosity
Chapter Two: Narax
Sometimes I write things.
What exactly is the justice system like? Korulen mentioned lie detectors—are those used all the time, or do they have a similar expectation of privacy as we do? Is jailtime typical punishment, or is there some magical equivalent?

Feel free to direct me to one of the many links on your site if these are already answered.
All Cretans are liars.—Epimenides the Cretan
 17 Alicorn, Mon, 11th Jul '11 9:43:08 PM from The Belltower Relationship Status: Mu
Lady Luminosity
Esmaar's justice system isn't explained in detail in the setting pages, no. Lie detection is commonplace. There are questions that they don't ask/you don't have to answer, but you don't get to lie to the cops. Jailtime is typical for medium-sized crimes (although it involves more wards and whatnot than Earth jails). Fines are common for little ones and Esmaar does have the death penalty.
Sometimes I write things.
 18 Anya Reine, Tue, 12th Jul '11 2:53:02 PM from Ferelden Relationship Status: I know
Witch of the Wilds
Different planet, or different dimension? I'm assuming its a different planet in a different solar system from where Rhysel is from.

Am I assuming correctly?
"If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do."
 19 Alicorn, Tue, 12th Jul '11 5:10:31 PM from The Belltower Relationship Status: Mu
Lady Luminosity
Rhysel is assuming the same thing as you are. She's wrong.
Sometimes I write things.
 20 Red Wren, Tue, 12th Jul '11 5:26:35 PM from False Dawn
the Ephemeral
Which syllable has the emphasis in Elcenia?
 21 Anya Reine, Tue, 12th Jul '11 5:43:52 PM from Ferelden Relationship Status: I know
Witch of the Wilds
Do the others know? And are they assuming she knows?
"If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do."
 22 Alicorn, Tue, 12th Jul '11 6:46:37 PM from The Belltower Relationship Status: Mu
Lady Luminosity
[up][up]El-SEE-nee-ya.

[up]The Elcenians know. They're not so much assuming she knows as assuming that the translation spell is doing the job.
Sometimes I write things.
 23 Anya Reine, Tue, 12th Jul '11 7:06:38 PM from Ferelden Relationship Status: I know
Witch of the Wilds
Other than a miscommunication does she have any other reason for her to think it's a different planet? Like is life on other planets a fact in her home dimension, or has she just never heard of the possibilities of different dimensions ?
"If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do."
 24 Alicorn, Tue, 12th Jul '11 7:43:26 PM from The Belltower Relationship Status: Mu
Lady Luminosity
Astronomy is a thing where Rhysel is from, but space travel isn't, and their gods aren't telling; she has no reason to rule out life on other planets but has no direct evidence for it, either. Once she knows what's going on, she will switch to a more specific word than "world".
Sometimes I write things.
the Ephemeral

Does "twice weekly will cause no significant impairment" refer to vampires or prey? Can vampires become unhealthy from overeating?
Total posts: 2,662
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