Asexuality in general

Well they certainly get specific, you can give them that.

Can someone define that for me? I've never heard of any of that

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/19/asexual-spectrum_n_3428710.html

Thanks!

Is it wrong/offensive that i wish i was asexual?

Not to me.

Because heteronormativity is horrible when you have high functioning autism.

like seriously, romance hurts but i have a disgusting urge for it

Asexuality wouldn't be easier, though. It would just be a different kind of difficult.

Keep in mind that "asexual" isn't the same as "aromantic."

It would just be a different kind of difficult.

How so?

You'll still have all the problems that arise from being non-neurotypical, but now you'll also have the problems that come from being non-heteronormative, as well.

Disclaimer: This is an analogy, not a direct comparison, and therefore by definition it is not an exact one-to-one correlation. By using (rather) minor factors in the analogy, I am by no means implying that being non-neurotypical or non-heteronormative are minor issues themselves. 'K?

If you were colorblind, how would adding having no sense of taste make things easier?

edited 1st Nov '14 10:43:53 AM by Madrugada

Unless people are actively pressuring you to date or something, it's not a problem though. It's a lot different than say, being gay. The absence of an activity is rarely an issue.

Except that it is an issue. You are continually surrounded by, bombarded by messages that sex is vitally important, that you should be concerned with it, that you should be pursuing it actively, that people who don't have sex are sad lonely losers, that "surely you'll change your mindif when you meet the right person", that you must have something wrong with you if you aren't interested in sex...

Asexuality is "just an absence of something" the same way blindness is "just the absence of something". The "something" that is not there is so pervasively present for the vast majority of people that the absence of it causes issues.

I guess that's a YMMV thing. I haven't been bothered by anything like that.

And I suspect that the comparison to blindness is offensive to people who are actually blind.

You've honestly never felt that society (via both media, cultural expectations and individual people) is asserting strongly that sex and relationships are a key part of being a person?

edited 1st Nov '14 2:12:50 PM by SilasW

Yeah, but the media also says that women aren't people, so who cares?

At any rate, I'd say it's less of a problem than say, not drinking.

edited 1st Nov '14 3:38:50 PM by storyyeller

If you are a romantic asexual, finding a partner can be very difficult despite the lack of sexual drive. Imagine explaining to a partner that whilst you love them, you have no desire to kiss them or have sexual intercourse with them. Even if they accept this, there is the worry that you are depriving a partner of what they truly want.

In general, dealing with widespread sexuality in the media and culture has been a problem for me. I can't watch a lot of shows (I've given up on anime entirely, for example) because I find fanservice and displays of eroticism extremely displeasing. When my friends talk about guys they find attractive, I have nothing to contribute at all. They look at me strangely for my lack of interest when I try to explain, and then I am basically isolated from the conversation. It's difficult for me to understand behaviour related to the desire for sex, e.g. sleeping around, cheating, casually hooking up with people during parties. A lack of empathy is a bit of a problem if I am to see these people as a patient in future.

Storyeller, If you're ace yourself, then you can legitimately say "I, personally, do not find that to be a problem." You cannot say "Oh, that isn't a problem." as a statement of universal fact.

If you aren't ace, you cannot even say "That isn't a problem for me" because you have no idea of whether it would be a problem for you. It's a hypothetical problem/non-problem. All you can legitimately say is "I don't see why that would be a problem." The same as if we were talking about blindness or tone-deafness, or lack of a sense of smell, or being gay, or having a burning dislike of chocolate or bacon, or not drinking alcohol.

edited 1st Nov '14 5:02:26 PM by Madrugada

I guess its just me being pissy over all the crap in my love life. I apologize folks.

I am ace, and I agree that if you're not ace, it's a very different perspective on how society pushes sex. Until you're in the position to go "this does not apply to me" you can miss how sex is infused into everything. Do I think it's a horrible, terrible thing of oppression? No, but it IS really annoying and, more than that, it implicitly reinforces the overt message we get that being ace is "not normal."

so here was an odd experience I had about a week ago. I was at a Lan/school event/all night party thing, and hanging out with some pretty cool people I don't usually hang out with. so about an hour in, one of them just started chanting 'sexual' over and over. the other two people on the table quickly joined him, just continuing to chant 'sexual, sexual, sexual' over and over. they all turned to face me, continuing to chant all while staring right at me. I legitimately thought for a second that I was actually in some weird dream because it came out of nowhere and made no sense, and was slightly terrifying. I don't really know what to do with that information. like, they stopped after about a minute, and just carried on the conversation like nothing had happened. I have never been so baffled so quickly over something so strange.

Like, that's actually weird right? that's not like just a me thing?

edited 26th Mar '15 8:31:39 AM by Jetyl

Congratulations, it would appear that you found a cult.

Sounds like an inside joke they forgot to let you in on.

the people I was with are known for being random like that. I heard today they just started free style skate-jazz or something today for like 15 minutes or something. I was just so baffled by that. in general, hanging out with them was fun, but I did notice sex jokes were strangely more frequent that night.

Like, as someone who doesn't want sex, and is very good at tuning out most of societies self-shaming obsession with it, being around people who actively reference it just kinda confuses me. like an occasional exposure to that environment is nice, because it reminds me that I am in fact asexual, regardless of how much my anxiety tries to make me doubt that fact. but being around that, even for as long as I was, both felt slightly isolating, and extremely baffling because my mind just can't grasp how some people could have such an obsessive thought on what amounts to an exchange of bodily fluids.

Like, I try to understand it, really I do. my mind tries to compare it to some of my minds obsessive thoughts, but like with most things when I try understanding the people around me, I don't feel that it really compares. I dunno, if I'm making any sense.