Star Wars- TvTropes Edition

Maxima, +5 internets for posts 43 and 47, and nods for each in the Made of Forum Win thread.

edited 9th Jan '12 5:56:05 AM by Nohbody

Thanks guys!

Darth Eddie swings his tropesaber down on Mace Madrugada's head. With a fluid motion, Madrugada backpedals a step and raises her own tropesaber in a cool efficient block.

The Troll Star's main atrium glows as their tropesabers lock and sizzle.

Madrugada shoves Eddie back and goes in for a finishing blow, which Eddie blocks. But the force of Madrugada's attacks leaves Eddie off balance. He stumbles backward from Madrugada's overhead parry and stumbles, falling to his knees.

Madrugada rushes in before Eddie even hits the floor. Roaring at the top of her lungs, she brings his tropesaber crushing down on Darth Eddie and slices his hand clean off.

Darth Eddie lets out a wounded mechanical wail of pain as he collapses to the floor cradling his stump of a hand with its hissing crackling wires exposed.

An enraged Madrugada stands over the fallen Sith troll. She hefts her tropesaber, prepared to finish him once and for all.

Before she can, though she hears laughing.

Emperor Palpatroll: Good! GOOD! Yes, you are powerful young Madrugada. Now, kill Darth Eddie and claim your place at my side. Together we will rule this internet.

Madrugada hesitates for a moment, as if remembering where she is. She looks at her own bionic hand, which replaced the one Darth Eddie cut off in their last duel. She then looks at Darth Eddie, once the most fearsome troll in all the internet, now beaten and weak holding his own missing hand.

In that moment Madrugada remembers who she is and what she must do.

Madrugada: No. (shuts off tropesaber and tosses it aside). No. Not now. Not ever.

Both the Emperor Palpatroll and Darth Eddie stare in total confusion at Madrugada.

Madrugada: You’ve failed your highness. I’ll never be a Sith troll. I am a Moderator, like Eddie before me.

Silence. The Emperor’s eyes narrow as he sizes up the defiant Moderator before him.

Emperor: So be it “Moderator”. (raises his hands) If you will not be turned, you will BANNED!

An arc of troll lightning erupts from his hands and slams into Madrugada, sending her careening into the far wall. Madrugada is stunned and shocked, breathing in labored gasps. She reaches out to will her tropesaber back into her hand, but the Emperor is already there.

Emperor: (advancing on Madrugada) Young FOOOOL! You have paid the price for your lack of vision!

The Emperor lights Madrugada’s whole body with a fresh volley of troll lighting, leaving her screaming at the top of her lungs. The Emperor laughs at Madrugada’s inarticulate screams for help. Neither of them notice Darth Eddie crawling back to his feet.

Emperor: Your feeble website is no match for the power of the Flame War. (blasts Madrugada, leaving her with welts all over her body). Only now, at the end, do you understand. Now, young Maddy, you will die.

As the smoke rises from Madrugada’s body, she lacks the strength to even crawl away. The Emperor laughs at her before raising his hands and unleashing troll lightning so powerful it rivals a thunderstorm. Madrugada cries out with every anguished part of her body.

Meanwhile, Darth Eddie stumbles toward them both, watching this unfold in silence. Madrugada sees the hobbled Sith troll standing there and facing her death can only hope…

Madrugada: EDDIE!!! Eddie! PLEASE!!!

The Sith troll looks at Madrugada, the glow of troll lighting reflected off his helmet and dark mask. No one can see it, but Eddie slowly starts to remember.

"Troper Tales is a pathway to many examples, some considered unnatural. Is it possible to learn this power? Not from a mod."

"The Moderators were keepers of peace and justice throughout the old website."

"You were the Curator! You were supposed to destroy Natter, not add to it . . . Clean up the page, not send it into Thread Mode!"

"You have Edit Warred for the last time Admiral"

"Where’s Padme? You banned her. NOOOOOOOOOO!"

"I am a Moderator. Like Eddie before me."

Madrugada’s screams fade. Her eyes flutter shut. And slowly the Emperor fries the life out of her…

But….Eddie walks up behind him and heaves him into the air. Troll lighting blasts all over the place out of control, frying both the Emperor and Darth Eddie.

Emperor: (furious) What the hell are you doing you traitorous son of a bitch??!!! Put me down. Right now!

Although the troll lightning is killing Darth Eddie summons the strength to carry the Emperor over to the power shaft which leads to the abyss of the Troll Star’s core.

Emperor: Darth Eddie! I command you to stop!

Darth Eddie: My name (lifts the Emperor into the air) is…..EDDIE FASTWALKER!!!

Eddie takes his last ounce of strength and throws the Emperor down the shaft plunging to his death, troll lighting still snapping all about. He seems to fall forever, just when he disappears out of sight. There is a blast of energy that erupts from the core, glowing and hissing all around them. It slowly fades back into the abyss and then, silence.

Silent except for Madrugada crawling toward Eddie who’s drawing his final breaths in rasps.

Madrugada: Master Eddie?? Master?

Eddie Fastwalker: Maddy, remove this damned mask.

Madrugada: Master, without it you’ll die.

Eddie Fastwalker: Maddy, don’t deny a dying man’s wish to see his apprentice one last time with his own eyes.

Maddy nods and pries loose the mask, revealing not a Sith troll, but simply a Moderator and site builder who got too tired and too frustrated.

Eddie: You’ve done well. “I am a Moderator.” He he, that’ll probably be a Memetic Meme by the end of the week. (Eddie laughs at his own joke and promptly starts to gag) Perhaps you should leave, my young apprentice.

Madrugada: I’ll not leave you here. You’re coming with me. I’m going to save you.

Eddie: (places a hand on Maddy’s shoulder) You already have. You already have. (his breathing begins to seize). Tell the tropers you were right about me. (rasp) Tell them you were right.

Eddie begins to collapse to the floor

Madrugada: (anguished) Master Eddie, no.

Eddie: May the Tropes Be With You, my friend. Take care.

Those are the final words of the once and again Moderator Eddie Fastwalker

Madrugada: (with tears) So long, Master.

edited 11th Jan '12 4:50:03 PM by TheStarshipMaxima

^ I...

There are no words.

Minor edit: Mads is a woman. I'm not sure whether or not you went with "he" because that matches Luke.

In any case, .

Thank you both. And I didn't know Maddy was a in fact a woman. But hopefully that's corrected now.

Sir, that was magnificent. A display of all that television tropes and idioms is. That sort of creative thinking, pop-culture mocking, and brilliant wit is undeniably wonderful. Please accept our gratitude and applause.

EDIT: Sorry for mistaking your gender.

edited 25th Jan '12 6:33:43 AM by ATC

That was one of the nicest things anyone has said about me since I became a troper. Thank you.

But.....I am, in fact a guy.