Need Feedback - Shining Down

Shining Down is essentially my take on the Shonen genre. I've always been a huge fan of the genre (what with growing up on Pokémon & Dragonball Z) and earlier last year I decided to take a stab at it.

Then I stopped. Then I started again.

The following is where I am right now. I'm finding it difficult to determine exactly what this is to the genre - at times I'm poking fun at tropes but more often than not I'm playing with them or trying to reconstruct them - I think the entire project is an attempt to play with the Shonen hero whilst still having a work that revels in Shonen tropes.

Anyway, here it is:

The story follows Theo, Aria and Mika as they travel across the world battling monsters so that the trio may join the Monster Hunter's Guild (working title); a police like organization dedicated to hunting down and keeping the peace between the various monsters of the world.

The goal of the journey belongs to Mika. From a young age she has trained alongside her brother, Tora to be a monster hunter but when he's protecting Theo & Aria she attempts to recruit the young couple. Out of a sense of duty on Theo's part and a thirst for adventure on Aria's the two decide to travel with Mika battling alongside her as a unit.

In the world of Shining Down every living person is born with a shroud - a living personification of their soul. Those with shrouds that are particularly powerful are able to manifest them in a variety of ways from outward fortification (which involves a manifestation of a person's soul forming a cloak around the user) to infusion of weaponry (which involves temporarily or permanently infusing one's shroud into a medium).

Those who don't have the ability to manifest shrouds can still use them via technological means though the methods are often much different.

Theo is the timid boyfriend of Aria. When the story begins he's reluctant to follow Mika but does so out of a sense of duty. Book smart but overly cautious Theo never quite gains the skills needed to be a warrior but supplements that with his ability to strategize effectively.

Though Theo cannot manifest his shroud he defends himself with a bubble slingshot (later a bubble gun) and uses his latent shroud to power twin Retainers – Wasalu & Carrera.

Aria is Theo's girlfriend. Aria is the reincarnation of the goddess that prompted the founding of her village and as a result grew up sheltered and slightly isolated. Adventurous to the core, she rebelled against her isolation and often snuck out jumping at the chance to see the world when she meets Mika.

As she's the reincarnation of a goddess Aria is blessed with that goddess' shroud though its full potential is slow to manifest.

Mika is the only experienced monster hunter in the group. Raised in a village where the women were expressly forbidden from being monster hunters Mika fought hard for acceptance, gaining it at the cost of her education and her father's respect. The journey that the group are on belongs to Mika and she is on it in an attempt to prove that she's worthy of being a monster hunter.

Mika is incredibly skilled with blades of all shapes and sizes. However despite her training she is still incredibly reckless in combat and is prone to losing her weapons at times. As a result she carries a multitude on her at all time and at great expense. Mika can call upon her shroud but only does so as a last resort.

The character descriptions ran a bit long so I've posted the extended versions here

There are a few more details that I haven't added because the whole thing was running a bit long but opinions and questions are welcome. I know that the idea is fairly stereotypical but that's what I'm going for. I urge you to read the extended character descriptions as it gives a better idea of the kind of things I'm going to be playing with.

edited 4th Mar '11 6:29:22 AM by keerruhn

Why are you using ALL CAPS LIKE THIS in some places that DON'T NEED THEM?

I thought the ALL CAPS was greatly executed and endearing. 10/10

edited 4th Mar '11 4:12:06 AM by cutewithoutthe

This started out as script work.

Thanks for the feedback. EDIT: All caps fixed, what did you think of what I posted so far?

edited 4th Mar '11 6:33:21 AM by keerruhn