Fish1
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Since: Sep, 2010
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#102: Feb 28th 2011 at 8:30:19 AM
http://www.shaadi.com/registration/user/welcome-reg-page.php?a=1&popbehind=1
The internet arranges marriages too.
Total posts: 102
Well, this is a massive thread hop, but I think arranged marriage means a lot of different things.
If you're talking about Chinese for instance, arranged marriage is really just "arranged dating" in reality. Parents won't force you to marry someone you clearly dislike, but they try to maximise your economic success by picking out people in the highest income bracket that would still find you acceptable.
So depending on the culture, the rules change dramatically and so do the different problems. I mean, even treating 'free' marriage as it is in the west, is a little over the top since it changes a lot even between Canada and America. The vast majority (I wish i could get figures) of Canadians believe in the dual-income both good workers type of family, and so marriage views change to underscore that. Mainly, it is a belief two people as similar as possible in economic standing get together. In America I find a higher prevalence of people who believe in "providing for the wife", such that there is an inherent belief that imbalance in economic standing is perfectly natural and expected. Now I'm of the opinion that imbalance leads to higher incidents of abuse but I don't have a source to cite.
When you talk about abuse arising, every society develops different mechanisms for coping with the situation. Some cultures fail more than others but it is my personal belief this is about economics, not culture. What I'm saying is that, I expect abuse to be higher in countries with more social strife in general (which typically occurs in poorer countries) for a myriad of reasons. People could be less educated and thus make decisions more on "might makes right" (therefore increasing abuse), there may be a lack of authorities or justice (thereby allowing abusers to get away with their crime) and so on.
Now about coping with abuse. In North America, I find abuse victims have trouble finding support from friends and family and have to resort to third party groups like charities and aid centres. I just find relations between family members to be highly business like. If you were in Hong Kong, the family values system means that family should be protecting family from abuse (a chinese proverb being, a man could be murdered by his wife but not his brother). The latter has its issues, but you'll find that the more affluent the Chinese neighbourhood, the more family will protect their own against abuse. Do you use abuse hotlines or do you rely on family? Which is better? I don't really know as I have nothing to show definitively one way or another.
edited 24th Feb '11 8:07:22 PM by breadloaf