Child Neglect and its impact on later development.

"Being effeminate or transgender doesn't automatically make one needlessly dependent or overly sensitive."

Exactly. Ivy, you're doing nothing but perpetuate a senseless stereotype.

@English Ivy: I figured as much.

@kashchei Or assuming that someone else is perpetuating a stereotype.

But what if your child, of either gender or orientation, doesn't want to fight and do that sort of thing? There's nothing wrong with teaching children to be strong and confident, but telling them that any emotion is weakness, admitting to weakness is a pussy thing to do, etc, is not necessarily achieving that.

There's a difference between wanting to fight, and having to ability to hold your own if a ll else faild. intentionally engaging in conflict is a good way to get injured or killed; my children will know that fromt he get-go.

Who said anything about omitting emotion? I've seen grown men cry; people who have been hurt, injured or lost loved one. Some of the most badass guys I know have cried at one point or another.

edited 11th Feb '11 9:08:46 PM by Kino

That's what people tend to mean when they say 'Don't be a pussy'. 'Don't be vulnerable or weak'. But everyone is vulnerable and weak at some point, and attempting to impress on your children that it's a bad thing isn't wise.

^Honor before reason and all that jazz.

edited 11th Feb '11 9:16:25 PM by Kino

@Loni Jay Well, what's a good alternative?

And didn't this go off-topic :/

Hey look - I understand where Kino is coming from. Different upbringing and all that, right? We can usually only give as good as we got - one person gets what they consider to be "normal" parenting, chances are, it'll be different than the next guy. Maybe even their own sibling. My sister and I were raised radically different, and that's not entirely due to gender differences.

That said, just because I understand a viewpoint, doesn't mean I'll agree or advocate it. I understand road rage, but I don't agree with it, ya know?

Kino, for your kids sake, I hope you marry a gentle-hearted woman. Both parents don't need to be identical in their parenting mindset, just as long as they can agree on how stuff is done. Kids pick up on which parent does or doesn't do what, and they will scam you. Well, try to. My four-year-old is a pathetic liar, when she tries to lie to me.

Also, for the record, I had no freaking idea what I was going to be like as a parent until bam, my first kid entered the world. I'm still learning stuff today.

On topic conversations are not very on topic, are they?

Par for the course, iunno.

I'mll take that into account and add it to the Ideal Woman thread floating around.

Finally, a thread in which my cynical side actually thinks my opinion would be valid. Now, I realize the TC is asking for 25+ examples, but.. the best I can give is that of a 16-year old. >.>;

Let's say you have a kid who gets the typical case of neglect (as mentioned on page 1: food bought but unprepared, clothes bought inconsistently, emotional neglect on full-scale). Kay? Now let's throw in a lack of hugs. How about not being taught to bathe or other personal hygiene-related activities? Actually, let's go ahead and say the kid's opinion is disregarded for everything but very important things (like, "Do you think we should move to an entirely different country?") and even then, let's say it sometimes gets disregarded on a random chance.

So let's look at what this kid would do. He'd (let's say he's a he) be terrible at bathing, and thus would have a bit of trouble making friends. Even when he figures out how to bathe, it'd be a low priority for him later in life, and he might go months without doing it (at least, in the worst case scenario of not getting to go to school for some time). If this kid has no siblings, there's no telling how messed up his emotions would be. But let's say he does. Let's say he has two older ones. They would be his inspiration at times, surely. Thanks to them, he would be encouraged to occasionally step beyond his normal routine. Let's say this nets him good speaking skills.

SO. Thanks to his good speaking skills, and his lack of love from his parents, he goes out and makes some friends (this may take a long time, say.. 10-15 years). If he's lucky enough to even GET many friends, all his life by now would tell him to listen to his friends very closely, find out what's important and what's not. Hopefully, if his friends are good, they'll teach him the importance of personal hygiene, and what a hug feels like. Not both in the same session, of course. They might teach him to love, to forgive, to try and understand the other person's point of view. Let's say they do all that.

Now, this is where things may get a little risky. If all this has happened, the boy would be about.. 14 by now. At home, he'd be disregarded and empty, and at school/other locations, he'd be loved and appreciated. Now that the boy knows what real life is like, he might start to question his parents' lack of love. He might start disregarding his parents' opinions, since (according to his friends' teachings), "If they don't have time for you, you shouldn't have time for them." This is VERY risky ground. If the boy's parents believe in, say, "I can raise him however I want; he's my son," then we may have a big problem. ..very. Things could get physical.

Really, it depends on a lot of factors. I'm still trying to figure out what said boy would do as life gets harder. Sorry if my response isn't appropriate for the thread, or if I went off-topic at all. Or even if I missed the point entirely.

edited 12th Feb '11 10:40:08 PM by DJay32

Nah. That's the sort of thing I was looking for.