ITT: We are all Pokémon Trainers

-Y'olk'a'ndw'hite transforms the universe into an egg.-

-Not the WAAPT universe. A different universe.-

-A human sits in his bedroom, tapping away at a computer.-

Redneck Phoenix: ...I feel yolky.

Luna: Mrow?

Redneck Phoenix: I just fed you. Suck an egg.

-Phoenix lands headfirst in a fountain. He's unconscious.-

Inkling!Alex: No seriously what the fuck

-Lou has split into 50 clones of himself, all wearing cowboy sheriff costumes. They all start patrolling the island, keeping eyes out for shady characters.-

-The eggs from other dimensions return home. The eggs from this dimension all return to their rightful owners. Any J-Teamers owning eggs might notice their eggs falling on little parachutes, with notes reading "hope you had a nice afd. suck an egg."-

The GM House

-Deziree looks down at the cup. A black, liquid void stares back from the mug like a crouching ape.-

Deziree: Are you sure this is safe to drink?

Magnemite: <It is my perfected recipe - I've been told it tastes "like getting kicked in the face", but I guarantee the effectiveness in enervating a tired mental process.>

Deziree: Miriel, you need to learn how to... how do I put this... abridge your eloquence, slightly.

MagnemiteMiriel: <Nonsense. I am merely elucidating->

Deziree: Now, see, right there? That's the problem. I'm just going to drink this... "coffee".

Miriel: <You need not refer to it in that tone of voice...>

-Deziree brings the cup to her lips.-

-Twitch comes in through the door, and sees the cup.-

-Twitch flashes back to Dune describing the last time Deziree had non-decaf.-

Twitch: NOOOOOOOO!

Elsewhere in Jubilife

-...what, you expected more AFD sillyness out of me?-

-I mean...sure but...i kinda used all I had of Zorah Efreetaros...-

-Uuuuuh-

-Oh year there was one thing-

---

-Crash is is a perpetual state of catblep today-

Crash:<Thith ith na amuthing>

Homer, to La: Wow, hey dude, sorry but I've got... what the hell?

-"As Homer is attempting to finish what he's saying a man in a karate uniform stomps down the street."-

-"The man then stops in front of Homer and La, and throws down a giant sega satern. He then proceeds to give Homer a death glare."-

Homer, confused: Hi... um, so could you maybe get out of the-

-"The man lets out a warriors yell and punches Homer in the face."-

Homer, rubbing his nose: Aw, what the hell dude?

Segata: YOU WILL PLAY SEGA SATERN.

Homer: What, why would I play- -punched in the face- aw, damn it.

Segata: PLAY SEGA, RIGHT NOW!

edited 1st Apr '18 4:26:56 PM by OlympianSoul

Let's all have fun

Gail: One thing I've always wanted...

Mezzo: What?

Gail: Could you call me 'mommy'?

Mezzo: What?

Gail: Come on, isn't that every mom's right to be called that by her little girl?

Mezzo: I am not doing that just because I'm your daughter.

Boy: Fine then, I'll show you how strong my Dark Eevee is! Battle positions!

Forte: If you insist.

-Forte sends out Marine-

Marine: <Okay, what happened to you guys' eyes?>

Leaflet: <Honestly, I'm not really sure myself.>

Boy: All right, come on out, Dark Eevee!

-the boy's Eevee walks up, and the boy touches it with a Moon Stone-

-surprisingly, an evolution seems to occur; the resulting Eevee has black fur, purple eyes, and a white underbelly, plus blood-red tips on its ears and tail-

-it then immediately attacks by creating a tiny orb of darkness which expands into a worm hole as it hits Marine, drawing him in, then disappearing with no trace left behind-

Marine died!

-the boy has a panicked expression on his face-

Boy: Th-this isn't my fault!

Dark Eevee: <What's wrong, master? Isn't this what you created me to do? Isn't this what you want?>

-the boy flees in terror, leaving the Dark Eevee behind-

Forte: Uh... what just happened?

Pianis: I hope not. If he is then I'd say he needs some talking to—

-Pianis is interrupted by a loud "thunk" as the lights switch off-

-Mezzo's sister mother is sitting on the beach, playing with Astral-

Astral: <Pew!>

Fortis: A little ball of cosmic dust~

Noelle: She could become anything, couldn't she?

Fortis: Uh huh!

Noelle: Like a new star or a moon... Or maybe even a black hole.

Astral: <Pew?>

-Astral seems to react to the phrase "black hole", and compresses itself inward-

Fortis: What are you doing, silly cloud? I— eep!

-Fortis feels a force pulling at her hair and dress, and realizes that Astral is now drawing all matter toward itself, including the beach sand and water-

Noelle: I didn't mean it that way! Watch out!

-Noelle grabs Fortis' legs to prevent her from being pulled into the singularity-

Do not fear power... fear those who wield it.

Logan: ...

Ballmons: <...>

8-Ball: <Gotta admit, did not see that coming.>

Ball!Addie: -rolls her eyes-

Ball!Zippy: -coughs-

Logan: ...how magnificent! In all their eggy glory!

-Vee pauses, having readied a number of Hydro Pump spheres to launch at Silas-

Vee: <...ah, it's good to have you back, Silas.>

-she tosses the now unnecessary attack-spheres into the ocean, where they rapidly depressurize, throwing up a comically large pillar of seawater in the detonation-

Vee: -wearily, grinning- <We missed you.>

-she jingles a Heal Bell-

Megan: SILAS!

-she runs up and...almost hugs him, before remembering a personal-space thing-

-Pollen stares intently at Silas, watching his bonds-

-then, if/when there's nothing new to see, she flits over to examine the trophy case-

A World, Taverninn

Mage!Ceal: -happily- Masters! You're here!

Grand Mage!Pippy: Of course, it isn't as if we've gone anywhere, child!

Mage!Ceal: -giggles-

Mage!Ceal: Oh! These are Grand Mages Phineas and Valdrenis, my teachers!

Mage!Ceal: ...Oh, are you still startled?

Monk!Megan: -quickly averting wide-eyed gaze- I-I'm fine.

Mage!Ceal: I think you scared her!

Grand Mage!Vee: -chuckling- Oh, that's ridiculous! There's nothing to fear from us!

Grand Mage!Pippy: -mildly- I do apologize.

-they laugh, and after a moment, Megan does too, slightly forced-

-...-

Grand Mage!Vee: ...Cera, could you get the forecaster ritual supplies from our room?

Mage!Ceal: Oh! Yes!

-lightly, as one might to an overprotective parent- And please don't scare her off, I like her!

Grand Mage!Vee: Ahaha, no worries. This old lady's got this.

-and Ceal, sighing, rushes off-

-Pippy orders two of [some fancy, expensive vintage way in the back], and Tripod wanders off as well, to retrieve it-

-...-

Grand Mage!Vee: ...ah, it's a surprise to see you again.

Monk!Megan: ...

Grand Mage!Vee: How long has it been? Four years? Five?

Monk!Megan: ...eight.

Grand Mage!Vee: She speaks! Anyways, the muscles are new, I like 'em. A lot better than the "scrawny nerd" thing we had going, ha. Something new to do with yourself, afterrrr...

Monk!Megan: ...

Grand Mage!Vee: -...sigh- Now. Hand 'em over.

Monk!Megan: -says nothing, but tenses up-

Grand Mage!Vee: C'mon. We don't want to repeat old, tired history, do we?

Monk!Megan: -...-

-she digs around in her robe, wordlessly producing a few thin shards of sparkling blue, crystalline eggshell, thrusting them at the woman beside her-

Grand Mage!Vee: -tsks, taking them from her, holding one up to the light and examining it critically-

You never learn, do you? Is that what this is about? This whole...buff, tough thing you've got going on? New image?

-tilting the shard between her fingers- New strength?

-placing it with the rest- The Goddess' Eggshell. First bits of power, real power in the universe. Second only to souls. Sad how you can't seem to find enough of either.

-she pockets them-

Go home, Meg. Leave us be.

-she claps her on the back, wandering off-

Go home.

Grand Mage!Pippy: ...I really, truly hoped you'd never run across us again.

-he sighs and shakes his head-

I don't need to ask that you let what's between us lie, do I?

-he wanders over to a distant stool and receives his drink, as Vee-for-Valdrenis excitedly intercepts Ceal/Cera, taking them outside to look at something-

Monk!Megan: ...

Assistant Barkeep!Tripod: -gently takes the newly dented mug from her grasp- ...?

Monk!Megan: ...I'm fine. I just—

I'm fine.

Gijinka!Pollen: -snores-

edited 1st Apr '18 4:40:33 PM by Asterisk395

No mind to think. No will to break.

Leo: *too confused to ask anything*

Icy!Blitzwing: *looking around* (Snrk!)

edited 1st Apr '18 4:34:46 PM by Reuknighted

[insert something relating to myself here]

Amanita: ...Um.

-she clicks her tongue a few times to get her bearings-

...What is it with my life and being filled with darkness?

Phobos: <For the record, I don't mind it...>

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

A failure buzzer is heard and next to Colton on a stop light like setup appears a Red X, "Ohhhh... Colton my man, you got your first strike. Best be careful! Thank you Sylveon!"

The audience applauds loudly and even a cheering whistle can be heard.

"Next up is Special number 2!"

Silas sits up groaning and looks over at Hacks and Megan, <Finally free of that dumb Stylus name...>

He sees Megan go to hug him and then stop, he blinks once and then pulls her into a hug, <It's good to see you again friend.>

He lets go of Megan and hugs Hacks as well, <The ball here?>

Tae picks it up and smirks, "Here it is Silas. The thing that holds you."

<Good.>

Silas grips onto the ball and glares at it angrily, the ball is slowly vaporized as he uses a psycho boost, He can feel a tingle, and takes off his scarf, he doesn't change back but Silas isn't surprised. <Guess I'm stuck as a Deoxys for the rest of the day.>

He stands up and stretches, Pollen should see the bond between Silas and Megan grow stronger, <Thanks for coming to look for me, everyone... and I'm so sorry I caused you so much worry.>

<Enh, we were only panicked, ya had ta deal with a known thief and hurt someone right? We'll be fine. Will you?>

<Yes... Jay mentioned someone, Delta... I think I might have a idea about potential investigations in the future... For now... I want to relax... and do something right.>

Silas steps over to the Trophy stand and pulls the tarp off it.

-Yeah, the junk in here isn't particularly descript. Your best bet is to pick a door and investigate.-

Someplace

-The plane flight was fine. Fine. Until the point it ceased being a plane flight and became a white arrivals space shuttle flight. Pent was... Preturbed. As far as I know Preturbed is a word that only I use so lemme explain: It's kinda like being uneasy, stirred to knowing that something's wrong but also the word can apply to non-thinking objects-

-To say that the white arrivals shuttle was preturbed would be incorrect, it was exactly as it intended to be. The plane would have been preturbed for the few moments between my idea coming to be and it becoming a white arrivals shuttle-

-Anyway, let's get back to some action-

Oracle Station 13

-The place was on high alert when the shuttle pulled in. Some vaguely voice-shaped static crackled over the PA. Pent could tell the place was kinda in a mess, the lights were flickering low and some of the screens showed "Evacuation Shuttle ETA: 5 minutes"-

~Distant sounds of battle, blood and steam~

-Pent carefully stepped through the halls, the still fools-blighted Susan on his shoulder as they traversed the halls. Some floors were stained with oil, blood or crude crayon graffiti. Some walls were broken or covered in painful glowing runes. At some point near the Bridge he could see some of the fighting at the end of the hall-

-Some were clad in black-red robes and carrying swords that looked painful even from a distance. Some were clad in brass armor and carrying chirring spears. Both were engaged in fierce combat with lethal intent and both, as far as Pent could interpret, were not good people-

Blooded Cultist: Nar'sie shall wash over this station and destroy your puny steam god!

Brassy Cultist: Fool! Our lord Ratvar fears your geometer not! Every moment you spend here fighting is another moment closer to his Ark returning him to us!

OOC: SyndieCake: That's only because you filled the base with stacked walls. Clockcult favors the defenders.

OOC: ChickenDinner: Every gamemode favors the defenders assbrain.

-Pent quickly scurries off towards the designated Evacuation zone, stepping over a fallen clown on the way-

OOC: ValidSalid: ICK OCK

The emergency shuttle has docked with the station. Estimated time to departure 3 mi-
Authorizations needed for early launch: 2

-Oh crap, time to run onto that new shuttle ASAP and get a seat-

Authorizations needed for early launch: 1
Early launch authorized, launching in 10 seconds

-Well, at least Pent and Susan are safe on the departing shuttle as-

I̴̛̤͉̗̣̖̱͎͆̒ ̶̩̗̺͔͎̺͇̥͔̼̋̎͗̃͜͜s̴̢̖̼͓̝̰̟̥͇̠̪͖̿́̓̓e̵̢̢̝͍̰̊̊́̾̋͗ẹ̵̢̨͉͙̳͓̫̭̼̄̕ ̵̨̢̟̣͉͓͍͙̲͚̤͖͍͐̀̈͋̂ỷ̵̧̲̝̼̲̯͎͙̘̫͉̘̼̃̈́͂̽͌͊͆̎͗̀͘͘̕͠ŏ̶̡̥̝͈̖̗u̷̡͚͔̫͓͈̪̓̇̏͜

-As the shuttle speeds away, some strange being bursts out of the hull of the station. It is painful to look at, even from this distance-

-Thankfully at some point the shuttle turns into a plane and the cold vacuum of space becomes the blue sky above clouds. They have survived this jaunt of reality, time will tell whether I get any more ideas worth posting about-

edited 1st Apr '18 4:50:15 PM by Pentigan

It's clearly a case of backroom political albumizing.

Hajime: "Uh... interesting? How so?"

Geoffrey lets out a sigh as Jay gets away and just lies down on the ground.

As the tarp is uncovered, the party would see that it contains a bronze Mightyena, giving a confused and angry growling expression.

"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every

In a flash of light, Daydre is back to normal. Mr Bitey stirs, and slowly sits up.

Mr. Bitey: <Oogh... Whahappen..?>

Friendo takes it upon themselves to explain the situation up until this point.

Friendo: <.. And now we must go west. because that is the direction I saw our friends taken!>

"Wait, what? You saw this happen?"

Friendo: <Yes, did I not tell you?>

"No, you did not."

Mr. Bitey: <W Hy... is Friendo talking..?>

"It's April Fools, same weird shit as last year."

Mr. Bitey: <Oh....>

Mr. Bitey's Pokeball pops out of the aether and lands besides him. Daydre returns him and attaches the ball to her belt to let him rest.

".. So, west?"

off the shits

In a flash of light, Daydre is back to normal. Mr Bitey stirs, and slowly sits up.

Mr. Bitey: <Oogh... Whahappen..?>

Friendo takes it upon themselves to explain the situation up until this point.

Friendo: <.. And now we must go west. because that is the direction I saw our friends taken!>

"Wait, what? You saw this happen?"

Friendo: <Yes, did I not tell you?>

"No, you did not."

Mr. Bitey: <W Hy... is Friendo talking..?>

"It's April Fools, same weird shit as last year."

Mr. Bitey: <Oh....>

Mr. Bitey's Pokeball pops out of the aether and lands besides him. Daydre returns him and attaches the ball to her belt to let him rest.

".. So, west?"

off the shits

 Petalburg Warehouse 

Might as well get it out of the way...

-Goes towards the ornate door-

Eating a Vanilluxe will give you frostbite.

The Pegasus Knight is veritably shredded by the archer, though still hanging on. An errant moonblast sends it spiraling to the ground, either unconscious or dead.

The other Pegasus Knight continues to attempt to get Yarne off of itself.

Despite losing the weapon disadvantage, Donnel's strikes end the Cavalier.

The Soldier has the benefit of the weapon triangle, but Chrom has the benefit of Pair Up and being stupidly overleveled. It goes down like a rock.

The Rexcalibur Risen, having made the mistake of attacking an archfey, eats a commesurate number of Moonbeams, just barely holding on by virtue of having a high Res.

The Bow Knight repositions, attempting to hit Grima from a blind spot.

One of the Myrmidons going at Jared gets a shark to the face, but the other one continues rushing towards him, attempting to strike at him.

Artoria: "Sharknado? Really?"

Mordred manages to shut another one of the summoners down, giving the heroes the definite advantage.

Severa, in combination with Lissa's fire, finishes off the Soldier she was fighting.

The Myrmidon is currently on fire, but strikes at Lissa again.

F!Robin looks concernedly over at Chrom being hit, but has more pressing concerns, namely the Soldier in front of her. She dodges the spear being thrust at her, and counters with another Thoron beam, killing it.

Artoria charges through the risen Mooks, getting into striking range of Kasumi, completely shrugging off another one of the beams.

A-rank magic resistance, yo.

Cynthia is smart enough to let go of the spear as it's yanked away from her, and she (albeit barely) managed to maintain her balance on her pegasus.

So she pulls out another spear.

Cynthia: "Hya! Didn't expect that, did you! Truth to be told I didn't know I had a second spear myself..."

She attempts to charge the Staraptor, given that doing so to Violent Knight didn't work too well.

edited 1st Apr '18 5:04:03 PM by Izshta

All are significantly abnormal in a normal world... All are significantly normal in an abnormal world.

-The ornate door leads to a short hallway, with a bored-looking guard at the end.-

Illusion Guard: Huh. You came right this way immediately.

Lucina: "Bunny Blast!"

-A Thoron-like beam is aimed at the Myrmidon, exploding into flowers.-

Laurent: "I grow weary of you, Deadlords."

-He joins Lucina with an Arcwind.-

Laurent: "Ah, the rest of you appear to also be here. Excellent."

-Of note is that Lucina is wearing her Spring outfit, Falchion at her side. In her hand is a rather...interesting-looking Egg, predominantly Blue.-

Lucina: "Lissa, Maribelle, Donnel, Virion."

---

Shauna: "So, is this because of the skybreaks or is it because of today?"

Shaun: "Nothing says it can't be both."

Shauna: "That's fair."

-Shaun glances at Jessica, who appears to be playing Song of Storms, judging by the cloud covering half of Mauville.-

Shaun: "What's your boyfriend's name?"

Shauna: "James."

Shaun: "Team names?"

Shauna: "In order? Blizzard, Acelin, Raven, Thunder, Garnet, Jessie, Solarity, Minerva, Aveline, Yuuki, and...you know. You?"

Shaun: "Tsunami, Ace, Ruby, Lightning, Jasper, Jamie, Celena, Beowulf, Achille, Tsuboi, and...yeah."

---

-Elizabeth tries to contain her excitement as she gets outfits for everyone to model, now that Christina and Olivia have taken human forms - the former being a dead ringer for most depictions of Christine from Phantom of the Opera in a Primarina-blue ball gown, while the latter just looks like a cocky version of Blazing Sigil Awakening's dancer.-

edited 2nd Apr '18 7:28:06 AM by SwiftSeraph

"Dang that sure is totally poggers my good bitch"

 Petalburg Warehouse 

-To the guard-

Well, I figured either this was a trap to have me go on a wild goose chase since it was too obvious a choice, or the actual path made to make me overthink things, so I decided I might as well find out what this is one way or another.

edited 1st Apr '18 5:16:06 PM by rmctagg09

Eating a Vanilluxe will give you frostbite.

Illusion Guard: Yeah, I get ya. Listen, what was supposed to happen is, you go running around collecting passwords and stuff, then come here and I'd let you through to get your dragon back. But, like, I get you probably don't have time for that? Shit's weird today. So like, we've got two options. You go get, like, one of the four passwords around here, I'll let you through. If you wanna just skip that step, by all means, fight me, I'm just supposed to give you a hard time with getting through intact.

-They rub their head.-

Illusion Guard: I mean, if you do wanna go and collect all of 'em, have fun. I might be able to heal you all up a bit after whatever hard time everyone's gonna give you. Between you and me, this whole supervillain thing? Extra as hell.

The DM House

Deziree: Butwhataboutenergyregulationthebatterywoulddryoutinamatterofsecondsifitranatfullcuttingpowerthewholetime

Miriel: <Er->

Deziree: Ohwaitinstallamotherboardonthethingandthatcanregulatetheenergyoutputbasedoncombatconditions

Twitch: See what you did?!

Deziree: Ineedsomethingthatcansensethemotionofthehiltsoitcandeterminewhatchargetouseforaswingwhattousewhattousewhattouse

Miriel: <I was not aware of any history of adverse reactions.>

Twitch: Your awareness is somewhat of a moot point right now!

Deziree: Whattousewhattousewhattousewhattousewhattousewhattousewhattousewhattousewhattousewhattouse

Miriel: <There's no need to be rude->

Twitch: Look around you! We have to clean it all up when she's done!

Deziree: ASWITCHJOYCONWOULDWORKPERFECTLY

Twitch: Wait, a Joy- HEY! NO! Don't take that one, it's your daughter's!

Ludmilla: Ow-hey! MOM!

Deziree: SORRYSWEETIEBUTSCIENCEDEMANDSSACRIFICES

edited 1st Apr '18 5:46:18 PM by DuneTheWanderer

 Petalburg Warehouse 

-To the guard-

Hmm... I'll just go do one quick because it would be kind of a shame for this all to go to waste.

-Goes down to one of the left doors and opens it-

Eating a Vanilluxe will give you frostbite.

-Within the shelter, trapped by the chaos of April Fool's Day and its rampant disregard for causality, two girls and a young police officer are...-

-...wait, hang on, they're just playing cards.-

Tara: Damn, I fold. I've had rotten luck today.

-She looks over at the officer.-

Tara: Heads up, man, it's getting late. Don't you have to get into work soon?

Shun: Thankfully not. We're usually advised to take today off, due to the high volume of... unusual incidents that are typically called in.

Ferrier: <Today is the one day when the shadow war is waged in the light, and we must be rested and prepared to face the coming storm!>

Shun: ...Not quite, but close enough. I check.

-He looks at his two companions.-

Shun: Speaking of, have either of you noticed anything untoward?

Dani: Nope! Then again, I am really high right now.

-She slams a run of Yu-Gi-Oh cards onto the table.-

Dani: Read 'em and weep, fellas~

Tara: ...Do you want to tell her, or should I?

edited 1st Apr '18 5:47:01 PM by Herbert40k

Trans rights are human rights. JK Rowling preaches hate. If you sit at a table with five bigots and say nothing, there are now six bigots.

Silas stared at the trophy and the Mighteyna inside, he inhaled deeply before his eyes glowed, a intensity in them.

Geoffrey would find himself wrapped in a glowing aura and suddenly hefted over, floating near Silas, held only by telekinetic power.

Silas let out a low grumble as his scarf started floating before Geoffrey followed by a great ball, <Do you know about the Hunter's Guild?>

Tae helpfully translated, "He wants to know if you anything about this petrified Pokemon."

Hacks was worried, Silas did not seem in the mood to talk.

<Delta...>

Bond or Break

The next voice queued up. “Colton-“

He slammed his hands on the podium.

“- please let me finish.”

Colt stopped before he could make a sound.

“I just think it’s surprising that you’d go through such an elaborate setup. I mean, it’s your decision, but if you want that Mega Stone, I’m in no position to stop you.

“Now, for my questions. Who am I?”

“Julius,” Colt spoke immediately. “Not only would I know you as the only one to call me Colton in a serious setting, but you’re the only one aside from Pyukumuku to roll with the punches like this.”

“Good. Question 2: What is my preferred battle strategy?”

“Let the opponent strike first as you use Bulk Up before running the opponent down with Play Rough or Reversal, or Facade if they were lucky enough to get a status ailment on you. A strategy you believe works exceptionally well due to the Shell Bell hidden in your fur around your neck.”

“You pay attention. Last one: When did you give me my new nickname?”

“Before we challenged the Unova League.”

“Three for three,” Julius announced before he disembarked.

“Wait for your cue,” Julius barked at a voice that said something Colt couldn’t discern.

edited 1st Apr '18 5:56:30 PM by AbsentCoder

[Insert Unoriginal Stinger Here]