ITT: We are all Pokémon Trainers

Celadon Fountain

Rod: Ma'am, we were just assaulted by a large group of Murkrow. We did nothing wrong. Please stand aside.

Celadon Podium

-Jared walks up to the podium with Jim-

Jared: Finally, the elected official we need!

Jim: <AN ALAKAZAM IN OFFICE? SIGN ME UP!>

Rock Tunnel

Sora: Moon Tribe. Group of Latios and Latias that lived on the moon until that disaster this one just mentioned wiped them out.

Dragur

Zumi: okay

-Arika facepalms-

edited 30th Dec '17 12:06:56 PM by Umbramatic

Contact Me!

-A Dunsparce... dunsparces up to the podium.-

Dunsparce: <BUT WAIT! Don't think you'll run unopposed! If we want to give the birds guns, that would make them superior to the rest of us! A fact which is patently false as Dunsparce are the superior pokemon! Someone told me this! So if we're going to give birds guns, we must thereby give everyone guns!>

Artoria: "... I am lost."

Mordred: -To Pawniard #111- "That's... not how that works."

All are significantly abnormal in a normal world... All are significantly normal in an abnormal world.

Whirlygig: <But I'm not a person, now am I?>

-and Brie recalls her-

Brie: I'm sorry about that. But, in all seriousness, do you really want to vote for a politician who can read your minds? Alakazam get Miracle Eye, after all.

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Sholto: -to Maul- <I guess that's fair, but 'corrupt' isn't a really good look on Law Enforcement.>

-to Dunsparce- <Debatable, but I can't say I disagree. Again, with existing gun control laws.>

edited 30th Dec '17 12:05:47 PM by CorvusAtrox

"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every

Celadon City

-Jacob is sitting alone a top a building, looking down at the congregation of birds, morons, and sentient stabbers-

-He feels his phone go off and he checks it-

-The corner of his mouth twitches-

"If there is no way to win, I will simply force a way."

Oron Fortress

-everyone leaps into the Grand Palkia-

Contact Me!

-Maul tilts his head at Sholto.-

Maul: ~Maybe, but a good look on you.~

-He looks over at the Dunsparce and extends a hand, fork still clutched within.-

Maul: ~Then join me, and we can rule together.~

-Pawniard #111 looks curiously at Brie.-

Pawniard #111: <Why would he want to read my mind? There's nothing in there.>

edited 30th Dec '17 12:16:23 PM by Herbert40k

Trans rights are human rights. JK Rowling preaches hate. If you sit at a table with five bigots and say nothing, there are now six bigots.

-a livestream of Maul's rally is playing on a projector-

Haunter: <He talks a good game, but I vowed to get a bird into office. I imagine you know why I've hired you.>

Tangent: Opposition research?

Haunter: <That's... actually a good deal more legal, do that one, yeah.>

Cuyahoga the Charizard: -glares at the Haunter- <Charizard very much do not want to get implicated in another Watergate scandal.>

Haunter: <Alright, alright!>

Roxy the Absol: <I have a hard time seeing how this will end, but it's not looking boring.>

Do you highlight everything looking for secret messages?

 Nimbasa Office 

Other!Tagg: -Following behind- I'm just here because I don't want to be all the way back in Alola by myself. Man is it cold here...

Other!Nudi: <Is that Alakazam even a natural-born [American] citizen?>

edited 30th Dec '17 12:19:36 PM by rmctagg09

Eating a Vanilluxe will give you frostbite.

Sholto: <I mean, maybe some Honchkrow, but I've already realized if I ever went corrupt, I'd probably prefer to just be a mob boss turning other people into my Weremurkrow underlings.>

Lisa: <And we've already had a talk about that.>

"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every

Celadon Podium

Jared: Seriously though this is looking kinda sketchy. Bird rights? What is this, that one [NICOLAS CAGE] movie about that guy obsessed with birds?

Jim: <I SEE NOTHING WRONG>

Nimbasa

Other!Umbra: -pets Roxy- I'm betting it won't be.

edited 30th Dec '17 12:27:11 PM by Umbramatic

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Sergey's Camp

Aicha: <Nah, not enough fun~ Any other ideas~?>

Moon Tribe Ruins

For a moment, Alyesha just stood there, processing everything before she just gave a simple nod

Alyesha: "Aaaas stupid as this sounds but this isn't the craziest thing I've heard... and seeing how the rest was true... Moontribe it is"

"One may feel fear in the face of danger so long as one banishes fear when danger actually arrives"

Brie: (to Pawniard #111) ...I'm sure that's not true.

-she forces a smile-

-PEFE!Every frowns-

For someone who doesn't want to be involved in the tinkering process, he's awfully excited to be around the fragment whenever possible.

...Hmm. If I am just being paranoid, I imagine this will annoy him, but...

-she turns to Rotary-

PEFE!Every: Grab one of the turrets, or a gravity gun, or something that looks vaguely weaponlike. Attach an empty jammer container to it so it looks at least reasonably like a battery.

Rotary: <This is a bad idea.>

PEFE!Every: Nah.

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

-Maul's head continues to tilt at Sholto until it reaches a 90 degree angle.-

Maul: ~Then don't let your dreams be dreams.~

-He looks down at Jared with an utterly deadpan expression.-

Maul: ~Sketchy? Me?~

-Pawniard #111 blinks at Brie.-

Pawniard #111: <Are you really suggesting I'd do something like that? Just go up to someone and tell lies?>

edited 30th Dec '17 12:32:48 PM by Herbert40k

Trans rights are human rights. JK Rowling preaches hate. If you sit at a table with five bigots and say nothing, there are now six bigots.

Sholto: <Uh, hm.>

-Lisa's eyes narrow-

Sholto: <How opposed would you be to me starting by recruiting you for that?>

"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every

Celadon

-Jacob kicks himself up, storing all his Pokeballs in his gauntlet-

-He snaps and Regina? appears next to him-

Regina: <We should go.>

Jacob: "Yes. Yes we should."

-Blip!-

Celadon Hotel Roof

-Blip!-

Jacob: -Smiling- "Hey! That was quick work. I'm impressed."

-Regina stands off behind him as Jacob moves forward-

Celadon City

Kalida: "STOP RIGHT THERE, CORRUPT CORVID AND ASSORTED AVIAN ASSOCIATES!" -Standing atop a building, in all her glory, scarf whipping in the breeze, Kalida leaps down with Bhima and Vetala-

"I'll be honest I really wanted to denounce your platform. But you're not a bird! Your an Alakazam. I am a human! But a human with more style and birds. So I think we should vote for me instead! I offer free head scritches and shiny objects to all who support me!"

Bhima: <We do have far too many shiny objects.>

Vetala: <Do either of you two idiots realize how many people that might add up to>

"If there is no way to win, I will simply force a way."

Brie: I...I...

...This is fine.

I'm gonna go now.

-she sends out Atlantis and flies off, gently pounding her head on the Dragonite's back-

-Jacob arrives to see PEFE!Every holding something that at least reasonably resembles a gun. A weird orange energy is pulsating at what appears to be the business end, and there's a jammer container at the other end, which is emitting sparks-

-that's because there's an Emolga curled up inside it, but PEFE!Every has decided Jacob doesn't need to be aware of that-

PEFE!Every: My mons built this out of some weaponry Pokefutures left behind. I don't think it's terribly stable, but it should do the job.

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Oron Mountain

Daydre likewise climbs onto Grand Palkia.

off the shits

-Maul's head keeps tilting ever further at Sholto.-

Maul: ~Depends on the manner of recruitment.~

-His head snaps back into its original position to look at Kalida.-

Maul: ~Lies and deception. I have lots of bird friends.~

edited 30th Dec '17 12:46:34 PM by Herbert40k

Trans rights are human rights. JK Rowling preaches hate. If you sit at a table with five bigots and say nothing, there are now six bigots.

Celadon Podium

Jared: -blinks- This girl seems slightly less sketchy. Slightly.

Jim: <I STILL PREFER THE OTHER ALAKAZAM. WHAT'S YOUR NAME BUD?>

Moon Tribe Ruins

Nena: <STUPID?! That was my home!>

Contact Me!

Sholto: <By becoming a Werekrow! Or a foxkrow! Or... whatever. It'd mean you'd be a bird so you could silence that human's blatant head rub and shiny object pandering.>

"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every

Moon Tribe Ruins

Alyesha quickly raised her hands

Alyesha: "No, no, I meant in my head at least it sounds stupid that your story is not the craziest thing I've ever heard" ;^_^ "Trust me, I didn't mean your story"

edited 30th Dec '17 12:50:37 PM by Sergey_Smirnov

"One may feel fear in the face of danger so long as one banishes fear when danger actually arrives"

Celadon Hotel

Jacob: -He leaps over and looks at it excitedly- "This is very well built! I'm impressed. Have you already tested it? Or... were you intending to do that now that I'm here?"

-He smiles up at her-

"I assume the former, you're far too practical to just skip that step."

Celadon City

Kalida: -She points at Maul- "Just because you have friends of a different group doesn't mean-"

-She looks at Sholto- "Ohmigod BIRD" -She rushes over and hugs their head and sratches his chin- "Such a dark and fluffy birdy bird!!"

Bhima: <REGARDLESS!! Her name is Kalida the magnificent!>

Vetala: <That's not her name but it doesn't matter.>

---

⦕You absolute idiot. I have to do everything myself.⦖

"If there is no way to win, I will simply force a way."

-PEFE!Every smiles back-

PEFE!Every: I've conducted essential preliminary testing. It's based on what Pokefutures referred to as a "gravity gun" but in practice it's more of a tractor beam, coupled with a concussion ray. With the Chaos fragment as a power source, it can likely entirely suppress Tragedy's ability to rewind damage.

It can also probably pulverize a human, so do try and aim it carefully when you fight Tragedy.

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Celadon Poduim

Jared: We should let an actual bird have a say!

-Sends out Valerie the Pidgeot-

Valerie: <...Pardonfuck?>

Moon Tribe Ruins

Nena: <...Fair.>

-Sora starts looking around for loot-

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