ITT: We are all Pokémon Trainers

Route 4

Deziree: I watched my husband work at an emergency Pokemon Center - needles don't bother me.

-She tilts her head.-

Deziree: ... I just realized that they really bother Ludmilla. Better not forget that again.

PEFE!Every: -sighs- It's not the needle I'm worried about.

-fortunately, she was expecting this, and she throws her labcoat over Jacob's head as the changes start to take effect-

-Jacob will feel a generally odd,slithery sensation starting at the point of injection, and rapidly spreading across his body. As though his blood were replaced by worms-

-it takes a couple minutes overall, the sensation periodically intensifying or lessening as the shift passes through different areas of the body. It's most pronounced at the withered arm, where it does indeed briefly become painful-

-and then it's done-

PEFE!Every: Give me back my labcoat as soon as you're done. You're about to throw up and I don't want to have to get the smell out.

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Unfortunately for the Armbeetle, unlike Saber, Artoria can spam solar blade.

Which she proceeds to do, ducking under an arm, grabbing a power herb, and attempting to sever the arm that was swinging at her.

Artoria: <HYAH!>

Masako: <... Where do you get all of these power herbs anyway?>

Artoria: <... A belt pouch, where else?>

Masako sighs, Ice Beaming the Armbeetle again.

All are significantly abnormal in a normal world... All are significantly normal in an abnormal world.

Route 4

Jacob: -He shoves Every's coat back into her arms, pale, and sweating profusely- "I."

-He staggers forward- "Am fine."

-He then vomits all over the ground-

-...-

-Oh-

-Guess what sludge just came back?-

edited 20th Dec '17 7:01:27 PM by Verax

"If there is no way to win, I will simply force a way."

Route 4

Deziree: WOAH! You forced a reconstruction via modified protein injection! That's aweso-

-She scowls at the sludge.-

Deziree: Oh fuck me with a Tesla Coil!

-The three young Pokemon moan.-

Dimo: <Do ve gotta eat dat, too?>

Maxim: <Iz dis vhat dey call "sloppy seconds"?>

Deziree: No it's not Maxim and again you should not know what that is yet!

-Sholto rushes forth to try and Aerial Ace off another Armbeetle Arm-

"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every

-PEFE!Every beams-

PEFE!Every: Thank you so—

-sludge-

PEFE!Every: ...Jacob, first of all, get some more food in yourself. Ideally, quick calories, protein, fat. Second of all, please tell me you are feeling entirely glitch-free and that was just some stray growth cells purging themselves from your system as the reconstruction digested them.

...Like, please tell me exactly that, because if it wasn't I may have made a horrible mistake.

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Poni Shore

-The three Pokémon go quiet at the well-wishing, unsure what the best response would be-

<Elty: "I mean, it would certainly be nice... But just what would we be able to do about tha-?">

<???: "No, no, no! How do you manage to put a sail on backwards?!">

-Only to be cut off by the sound of an Aggron's voice in the distance, and the faint din of carpentry going on-

<Pyry: "Huh? Is that...?">

Hard Boiled Detective Since 1985

Route 4

-He uses his left arm, now functioning, to pull up his gauntlet PC, and withdraws a few bottles of water-

Jacob: "I feel... empty."

"I don't know... if I feel glitch free. I feel awful. I think... I think it worked? I don't feel any burning or bad sensations."

-The Chaos goo and other expulsed junk material fizzles, and dissolves into the air, leaving burn marks on the ground-

"... Well..."

-He takes a sip of the water-

"At least... I don't know. My arm doesn't hurt. Should I try using the psychic thing?"

"If there is no way to win, I will simply force a way."

Route 4

Deziree: Go ahead.

-Don't mind Deziree leveling a freeze ray on max settings at Jacob's center mass.-

-That's just a safety precaution.-

-Also the chainsaw compartment on the speeder has popped open again.-

-Don't mind that either.-

PEFE!Every: ...

-she breathes a sigh of relief-

PEFE!Every: Your psychic abilities do seem to be an effective litmus of your entanglement with Chaos. It would be a good idea to test them, but try to avoid overexerting yourself. You'll likely be tired for a little while until your body's fully replenished.

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Route 16, Past

-The Watchog Hyper Fangs another arm-

-Morisot roars and punches the other Armbeetle-

Nimbasa

Jean: <Great. More getting used to.>

Jared: Can I try?

Poni Island

Sora: -grins- Looks like you've found your boat.

Ersatz Alliance

Bartelby: -sighs- Shoes are that way. Lurantis, don't wreck anything.

-he leads them over-

edited 20th Dec '17 8:34:48 PM by Umbramatic

Contact Me!

Nimbasa, Lycanroc(?) Zone

Megan: -watches-

No mind to think. No will to break.

Route 4

Jacob: "Alright."

-He scans the area for something he is capable of lifting, something about a pound or less-

-He settles on a pebble and focuses intensely on it for a moment-

-A moment passes-

-Another moment passes-

-There is an earsplitting howl is Jacob is on the ground, on his hand and knees-

-Every and Deziree watch as his back is rippling and pulsating as if something is pushing or moving under it-

-After another moment there's the sound not dissimilar to a water balloon bursting as the ground and the back of Jacob's coat are stained black-

"If there is no way to win, I will simply force a way."

Route 4

-The area is now sprayed with Freeze Ray ice and the sound of a chainsaw revving in the background can be heard.-

Deziree: Wuffles, do we have a splatter mask?

Wuffles: Negative.

Deziree: Oh well!

-Keeping her freeze ray firing on Jacob she goes over and grabs the one-handed chainsaw from her speeder.-

PEFE!Every: ...Oh no, no no no no—

-she starts to approach Jacob, but then jumps back as Deziree starts firing...or, well, icing-

PEFE!Every: No no no no no...

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Route 4

-The area around Jacob is frozen but somehow he's still relatively mobile-

Jacob: "I" -He strains and pushes up, the layer of frost on him cracking and sparks of diamond dust filling the air-

"Am not" -He strains himself, pushing up to his feet-

"Your toy. I'm stronger. Than this."

-He staggers back to his feet before collapsing again as the ripples and spasms die down-

-Panting and sweating, he collapses-

edited 20th Dec '17 7:34:53 PM by Verax

"If there is no way to win, I will simply force a way."

Route 16, far past

The Arm Beetle does not seem to care about its injuries anymore. It doesn't seem to care about anything except mass destruction. More of its arms get sliced off, but it maintains enough to spin around with glowing Drain Punch fists.

More arms disperse into Machop. A couple of the first group wake up, look at eachother, and then flee the scene.

"Looks like it's starting to wear itself out.."

Ersatz Alliance

"Cool, thank you." Daydre follows Bartleby to the shoes. After a quick look she picks out a pair of basic black heeled sandals.

Rowan: <You're gonna wear those during the winter?>

"Eh, I'm gonna wear them with tights. And it's an indoor party isn't it?"

Rowan: <Eh.. True.>

edited 20th Dec '17 7:45:08 PM by Daydre

off the shits

Route 4

Deziree: Alright Jacob, I'm gonna be nice and give you the chance to say one coherent sentence that only you would say before I amputate all of your limbs, sic Mobius on you, freeze you with my speeder's freeze ray, then call your wife.

*VVVVVVVVRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM!*

Deziree: And even them, I may still call your wife because YOU'RE A FUCKING MORON!

Seafolk Village

Ludmilla: Wha...?

Recorded Deziree: Hey, sweetie! It's Mom - if you're hearing this message, it means your Uncle Jacob did something prideful, stupid, or both, and I'm getting called in to help clean it up. Normally I'd leave an amount of time it'd take me to finish up, but knowing you're rascally Uncle Jacob, he's probably done something impossibly stupid, like try and hug a Shadow Pokemon, or go chasing after a friend with a psychotic split personality and the power of a Legendary! So this might take a bit.

Recorded Wuffles: Addendum: Galvani Creator would like you to know she will meet you at Tapu Village when she is finished.

Nimbasa Scarf Area

"I'm as surprised as you are," Lucario admitted as he approached Megan. "This is the kind of thing you have to experience firsthand to comprehend first, as opposed to just being given a scarf and then its owner running off - OH WAIT." He hollered the last part to his trainer in the distance, who just casually waved.

[Insert Unoriginal Stinger Here]

-PEFE!Every rushes over as soon as goop stops flying-

PEFE!Every: Jacob! Are you alright?

-she's not sure why she's bothering to ask. There's no reason he would be-

PEFE!Every: (to Deziree) Wait wait wait no!

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Route 4

Jacob: "Dezi, my body just feels like it was turgid and then popped, you're threatening me with a fucking chainsaw, and I will let you carve me up with that if it means leaving Hikari out of this because please sweet Rayquaza's singular tap dancing shoe do not get her involved I will never live it down."

"If there is no way to win, I will simply force a way."

Ersatz Alliance

Bartelby: We also have a new line of specialty shoes with special effects. -Gestures to a rack-

Route 16

-Morisot roars and repeatedly Arm Thrusts the other Arm Beetle-

Nimbasa

-Jean removes the scarf and becomes human again. Jared puts on the scarf and becomes... a Noibat, flitting about-

Noibat!Jared: <Sweet, I can fly!>

-Lets out a loud sonar pulse-

<And make some NOISE!>

Contact Me!

Route 4

Deziree: Alright, fine.

-She turns the chainsaw off.-

-She's still firing the freeze ray though.-

Deziree: I swear to Arceus Jacob why do you keep finding new and inventive ways of being impossible! Wuffles, call Dune - let him know that Jacob did another motherfucking Jacob.

Wuffles: Affirmative. Query: Expletives?

Deziree: YES. ABSOLUTELY. And call Code Talker - let him know that he's brushing up on his reconstruction skill starting right now.

Wuffles: Affirmative.

Deziree: And find the nearest ice cream place for after this because it's either that or I go from a mad scientist to a MAD scientist!

edited 20th Dec '17 7:53:33 PM by DuneTheWanderer

---

Human!Jessica: "This is coming along really well, Mrs. S."

Ruby: <I agree.>

Lilac Sapphire: "Of course it is, dears. I am a seamstress, of course."

Jessica: "I thought you were a tailor."

Lilac: "It's actually very nuanced. Technically, I'm what one would call a custom clothier. But seamstress is easier for people."

Jessica: "Oh."

-A orange Pikachu walks in, balancing a tray.-

Lightning: <I, uh, made some tea, if you guys want some.>

Ruby: <Of course I want some, darling.>

-She plants a kiss on Lightning's cheek (pun completely intended), causing the Pikachu to almost spill sugar, cream, and hot tea all over the workroom.-

Lilac: "I ought to rest for a bit."

-She sets her tools down and takes a seat on a cushion set up by a kotatsu upon which the tea tray has been placed by a blushing Lightning.-

Jessica: "Um..."

Lilac: "Oh! How silly of me. Let me finish first. We're almost done."

Ruby: <...Ah, [Oolong] tea...might I make your cup, Lilac? The usual?>

Lilac: "Please, Ruby."

Ruby: <Would you like some, Jessica?>

Jessica: "Nah, I prefer bubble tea. But thanks."

-Ruby sets about serving the tea, Lightning sitting next to her quietly. Lilac consults her sketchbook and begins making a few alterations to Jessica's outfit.-

edited 20th Dec '17 7:56:41 PM by SwiftSeraph

"Dang that sure is totally poggers my good bitch"