ITT: We are all Pokémon Trainers

Mysterious Woman: <Maybe you should throw it in the air dramatically. That's what they always do on TV, right?>

Ever: Go, Nitro!

Nitro: <Hi up there!>

Gliscor: <...Not sure how I feel about this.>

-zap-

Bertha: Don't even begin to think you've won! Golem, go!

Ever: Really? Even if she is Rock-type, Nitro can still just use Ice Beam.

Bertha: You're more than welcome to try.

Ever: ...Uh, okay. Ice Beam.

Nitro: <Sometimes I feel like you only like me for my Ice Beams.>

-she generates an ice rifle-

Nitro: <That's okay though, because I really like my Ice Beams!>

-and she fires a beam of freezing light at the Golem-

Bertha: Fire Punch, Golem!

Ever: What?

Golem: <You need to chill out!>

-she curls up into her shell, and then bursts into flames-

Ever: ...WHAT?

-and the Ice Beam dissipates instantly-

Bertha: You may have the type advantage, boy, but Aaron isn't the only one with a trick up his sleeve! I've trained Golem's Fire Punch to the point where it can negate any incoming Ice attacks short of a Sheer Cold, which I know Froslass can't manage! And don't think Ghost will serve you any better! Golem shells can contain a dynamite explosion, so the concussive force packed by a Shadow Ball won't even make a dent! Your attacks are completely useless, and any switch you pull will only give me attacker's advantage!

Ever: -annoyed grunt-

Nitro: <Hmph. Talk about cheap.>

Bertha: Now, Golem, show our challenger the other application of your defense! Fire Punch!

Golem: <Time to put you on ice!>

-and she rolls towards Nitro, leaving a scorching trail in her wake-

Delibird: "...Let's fix what's going on, then!"

-Listening to the woman's advice, she throws the gum and rope up in the air, intending to catch it in her bad before setting out to figure out how to make people non-Buneary-

edited 11th Nov '17 9:56:12 AM by CorvusAtrox

Nitro: <Eeep!>

Ever: Stay calm, Nitro! Make a wall!

Nitro: <Oh, cool! Shazam!>

-she uses Ice Beam in front of herself, a wall forming-

Nitro: <Let's see a Conkeldurr do that!>

Ever: I'm not sure they actually do construction.

Golem: <That won't stop me! You're on thin ice!>

-she approaches the wall, which begins to melt...-

Nitro: <O_O>

Bertha: Pull out!

-and the Golem swerves away, coming to a halt in the center of the arena-

Ever: -exhales with relief- Thought so. Golem's Fire Punch can go through an Ice Beam with no trouble, but a wall of ice would leave behind too much water, is that right?

Bertha: So what if it is? You still can't crack my defense, and while your Froslass's control over her ice is impressive, I guarantee you won't win on sculpture alone.

Nitro: <Whaaaat?>

Ever: I'm sure you're right. Nitro, let the wall go.

Nitro: <Um.>

-even so, she drops the wall-

Bertha: Golem!

Golem: <Tonight's forecast...a freeze!>

-she charges-

Nitro: <Ever? Some directions would be appreciated about now...>

Ever: Get onto the walls! Put as much ice there as you can, and get it live!

Nitro: <...Oh!>

-she dashes out of the way of the Golem, who swerves around to pursue her. Nitro leaps onto the wall, painting it over with ice, and then leaping away as the Golem pursues. The Golem easily moves around the ice, controlling its path with minute explosions as she chases Nitro around the arena. Finally, with the arena walls almost completely coated, Nitro returns to the floor, the Golem landing in front of her, still wreathed in fire-

Bertha: Well? What now? You may have limited Golem's mobility and given yourself a safe zone, but your offensive options are still locked down, and you won't outlast Golem. She and I have trained for maximum output of Fire Punch.

Ever: Well...let's say I figured out a way to bring the ice to you. Nitro?

Nitro: -holding up what looks like a small switch made of obscura- <And you said I couldn't win on sculpture.>

-she flips the switch, and small pulses of obscura go out through dozens of threads, still made of the same Shadow Ball. The pulses lead all around the arena as the threads disappear behind the ice sheeting. There's a crack...-

-and the ice tumbles down around Golem-

Lakinala Center

Huginn: <Damn that was good.>

Alli: Golem we hardly knew ya.

Gabe: Nice ice trick!

-The rest of my Lakinala Center group (including Seish and Fuu, who have freed themselves from the video game) are watching in the background-

AU Airship

Locke: Mahogany sounds good.

Archer: I'm game.

Shizuo: Same.

Alex: Let's go then!

-Her Porygon-Z body suddenly enters the airship controls, and the ship takes off...-

-...as a drone watches and a man sneers on the other end-

edited 11th Nov '17 9:59:02 AM by Umbramatic

Hau'oli

"I've got a feelin' that they've buried the hatchet. Feel free to yell at me if I'm wrong and they start clawing at each other in a non-playful manner," he offered.

"So, anything else?" He asked.

Ger Desert

"Yeah, I think this is either the part where we get tranq'd, dragged and questioned, or the part where they take us to their leader, BEEP BOOP MEOW." He chuckled.

"That is fun to say!" He whispered to Lucario, who promptly couldn't help but smirk. Only him...

edited 11th Nov '17 9:59:36 AM by AbsentCoder

-there's a deafening hiss, and Golem is enshrouded in steam, the Fire Punch winking out instantly-

Ever: Her guard's down, so use Shadow Ball!

Nitro: -grins, forming a pistol, and generating a scope from one of her horns- <It's high noon...>

-and she fires a Shadow Ball into the steam, sending it down the head opening in Golem's shell and oneshotting her-

Ever: McCree? Not Mei?

Nitro: <The ice puns seemed to be under control.>

Ever: You're not wrong.

Bertha: Hippowdon! Stone Edge!

Ever: Stone Edge? From a Hippowdon? How is that going to conn—

-and the room is suddenly filled with sand-

Nitro: <Eeek! I can't see!>

Bertha: When a Sandstorm kicks up, it always takes a few seconds to adjust, and Hippowdon's trained to take advantage of that time!

Ever: Dammit dammit dammit...

-he fishes for his Go-Goggles, putting them on and peering into the storm-

Ever: Nitro?

-Ever's Go-Goggles pierce the storm, revealing Nitro, unconscious amidst a field of rocks-

Ever: Dammit.

Lakinala Center

Huginn: <A sharp and pointy end. This seems familiar.>

Alli: Savage.

Gabe: That Hippowdon means buisness...

-Ever sends out Jab-

Ever: Nitro wasn't my only Ice-type, you know!

Bertha: That's perfectly fine, because Hippowdon specializes in taking down Ice-types! Hippowdon, Yawn!

Ever: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo......

Hippowdon: -yawns-

Jab: <DON'T YOU FALL ASLEEP ON ME!>

Ever: Ice Shard!

-Jab hurls an Ice Shard, scoring a glancing hit and not dealing a whole lot of damage-

Jab: <...I'M GOING TO SLEEP NOW! FOR UNRELATED REASONS!>

-and he does-

Bertha: Hippowdon, use Stone Edge again.

-she does, oneshotting Jab-

-Ever sends out Mix-

Mix: <Oh dear, this won't be good for my fur at all.>

Bertha: Gather all the type advantages you like! You still can't get to Hippowdon through this storm!

Ever: You know, you're completely right.

Mix, Sunny Day.

Mix: <Oh, thank Shaymin.>

-he generates a sphere of light and tosses it into the air, where it shines through the sandstorm and breaks it up to reveal Hippowdon-

Ever: And, just as a bonus, the sun unlocks Mix's Leaf Guard, so Yawn's out too. Now...let's see how the fight goes this time, huh?

Bertha: -grunts- Hippowdon, Stone Edge!

Ever: Mix, Leaf Blade!

Mix: <Got it! :3>

-Mix rushes forwards, easily evading the oncoming rocks, and smacks the Hippowdon in the face with his tail, knocking her out-

-Bertha sends out a Quagsire-

Ever: Hey, does it bother you at all that Cynthia sort of bogarted Garchomp?

Bertha: Every day. Quagsire! Ice Beam!

Quagsire: <Muh.>

-she fires an Ice Beam, but Mix skips aside-

Ever: ...Yeah, that's not going to do much. Mix, Leaf Blade.

Mix: <Yep!>

-and he knocks out the Quagsire with another strike-

Ever: You going to Mega Evolve someone now?

Bertha: I never felt the need to go out of my way to find an appropriate Pokemon, if we're being honest. All the same...I think my ace should prove adequate. Rhyperior! Megahorn!

Mix: <...Uh-oh.>

-and the Rhyperior charges across the field, oneshotting Mix with a well-placed horn swipe-

-Ever winces, and sends out Diesel-

Bertha: A Bug-type? Alright, then. Rhyperior, Rock Wrecker!

Rhyperior: -plows her hands into the ground, lifting up a huge hunk of stone- <HOW'S THIS FOR HARD ROCK, YOU DEDLING GNAT?!>

-and fires it at Diesel-

Ever: Protect!

-Diesel holds up a wall of force, stopping the rocks cold-

Bertha: Hmm. You don't really think you can hold out like that forever, do you? Or that you could pull the same trick you did against Aaron? I've taught Rhyperior how to bank her shots, just like in billiards!

Ever: Dating yourself there.

Bertha: Quiet. Rhyperior, Rock Wrecker again! Bury that Kricketune!

-the Rhyperior lifts up another hunk of rock, firing it off to the side. It ricochets, flying behind the rockpile...and out the other end, where it bounces off the other wall, and crashes straight into Rhyperior-

Bertha: What?!

Ever: Well, that's what happens when you shoot at things you can't see.

-Diesel sticks his head out of the rockpile- <Is it over?>

Ever: It's about to be! See, I figured you'd have watched my battle with Aaron, and you'd have been prepared for me to clutter the field with cover! And I had a feeling you'd try something like banking your shot! So, when the rockpile formed, I signaled Diesel from behind it to hide inside it the first chance he got! And with nothing for that second Rock Wrecker to connect with, it just kept going until it hit Rhyperior! Your plan ran deep, Bertha, but mine ran just a little bit deeper!

-...-

Diesel: -chirp-

Bertha: ...What?

Ever: ...Diesel, just use Brick Break.

Diesel: <Rock's never been my style; I happen to prefer classical! So allow me to show you my forte!>

Ever: ...Not to undercut the fact that you're trying, but forte as in the musical notation and forte as in one's personal strength are not actually pronounced the same. Sorry.

Diesel: <...Hmph.>

Ever: Points for effort though! -skritches Diesel behind the antennae-

Oasis

Phaz: "Or the part where they refer to us as gods and then in a twist of fate we're offered as their god, which is this huge statue."

Points to the Groudon

"But for the moment let's say they're our level and dodge any political incidents."

The Sandslash spoke up, <I am Tim! And before you ask, no you don't get to ask about the names, we gotta bunch of names, especially from a book one of our traders brought from the outside. What brings you all to the Ger Desert?>

Another Sandslash spoke up, <Hey I'm wondering the same thing. Hell how in Arceus did you guys end up on this island?>

Flint: Yo!

Ever: Wha— Who are you?

Flint: I'm Flint, of the Elite Four!

Ever: I mean, I gathered the second bit, but I didn't see you last time I was here.

Flint: Maybe you only hallucinated battling Lucian.

Ever: Honestly, I wouldn't put it past me. So, uh...you're, like...a fighting guy? I'm guessing? ....Please?

Flint: Nah, see, I'm the Fire-type user here. So let me see how hot your spirit burns!

Ever: ...Drat.

Battle! Elite 4 Flint vs. Oddtrainer Ever!

Ger Desert

"An eldritch abomination with a sense of humor more twisted than the [Gordian Knot] summoned us onto a boat with equally eldritch invitations and now if we want to get off we have to solve a bunch of puzzles scattered around the island and for some reason I think he's playing us for fools which is quite ironic given his name is Jester-"

At this point, Colton was interrupted by a Vacuum Wave knocking him onto his chest. <SHUT. UP,> Lucario D.C. seethed before Colton returned the Steel-type to prevent any further damages.

-Ever sends out Salamence, while Flint sends out a Rapidash-

Salamence: <Ever, don't you think it's weird how a Rapidash is a fire horse, but Lapras is a water horse?>

Ever: ...Come again?

Salamence: <Never mind~>

Ever: Uh, sure. Dragonbreath!

Salamence: <Taste the flames!>

-she spews down a stream of green fire, but Rapidash canters out of the way-

Rapidash: <Nay, my friend. Nay.>

Flint: If you assume Rapidash can't touch you because he's a physical attacker and you're too high up, you better think again! Rapidash, Bounce!

Ever: Oh, not again.

-Rapidash winds up, and then leaps into the air, trailing flames behind him-

Rapidash: <Always, I wanna be with you, and make believe with you, and live in—>

Ever: Oh, hell no. Salamence, Aerial Ace.

Salamence: <Really? I haven't used that in forever~>

-she trills as Rapidash approaches-

Salamence: <Do I even remember how?>

Ever: Uh, Salamence, not to rush you...

Salamence: <I think I just...>

-just as Rapidash is about to collide with her, she goes into a power dive, easily evading his strike. As he descends from the sky, she pulls a loop-de-loop, once again dodging him as she flies up, and then she doubles back again, striking Rapidash from above with her talons-

Salamence: <Oh yeah, that's how~>

-and Rapidash crashes to the ground, out cold-

Salamence: <Turning Swellow, my tailfeathers.>

edited 11th Nov '17 10:50:31 AM by memyselfandI2

Lakinala Center

Huginn: <The Turning Swellow, eh?>

Gabe: Kick his clown-haired ass!

Alli: FUCK YEAH!

edited 11th Nov '17 10:54:34 AM by Umbramatic

Lanakila Center

-Kaito has been watching Ever's Sinnoh league challenge on a screen.-

Kaito: Wonder if he's gonna have some surprise final challenge other than Cynthia.

-Flint next sends out a Steelix-

Ever: ...Come again?

Flint: Sinnoh doesn't have very many native Fire-types.

Ever: Is Steelix native to Sinnoh?

Flint: ...

Ever: ...Right. Salamence, Flamethrower.

Flint: Rock Tomb!

Steelix: <ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?!>

-and he is immediately bathed in flames-

Ever: Yeah, Bertha already made that joke. This is why we don't double up, people.

-nonetheless, the Steelix does manage to drop some rocks on Salamence, before being knocked out by a second Flamethrower. Flint then sends out a Drifblim-

Ever: Can confirm. Drifblim on fire 90% of the time.

Flint: Indeed. Drifblim, Double Team.

Drifblim: <Hast du etwas Zeit für mich?>

Ever: ...Ah. I get it.

-indeed, there are 99 of them now-

Ever: -sighs- Salamence, Aerial Ace.

-Salamence darts forwards, striking through all of the doubles and hitting the real Drifblim, who drops from the air-

-but not without detonating in Salamence's face, knocking her out too-

Ever: It's like she's here with me.

-he recalls Salamence-

Lakinala Center

Alli: Dammit, Aftermath.

-to Kaito-

Isn't this awesome?

-Flint sends out a Lopunny-

Ever: That is...

Flint: ...

Ever: I don't even know how to address this.

Flint: Oh, like you've never made a bad pun.

Ever: Not this bad.

-he sends out Nitro. Flint cracks a grin-

Ever: What's so funny?

Flint: I assume you believe that, since Lopunny is Normal-type, all his best attacks will be sealed against your Froslass. Is that correct?

Ever: It's a reasonable approximation of my line of thought.

Flint: Heh.

-he flashes a small object on one of his wristbands-

Ever: ...Does everyone but me have one of those?

Flint: Aaron saved this for his ace, but Lopunny and I have enough of a bond that we can pull it off just fine! So let me show you just how hot we burn! Mega Evolution!

-Lopunny is cloaked in light, and revealed-

Ever: ...Doesn't look too different. Is he Psychic or Dark now or something?

Flint: Not exactly. Lopunny, High Jump Kick!

Ever: ...What?

Lopunny: <Haha, dibs!>

-he sprints forwards, leaping into the air, and diving towards Nitro with a kick-

Ever: Uh, yeah. I think you can probably just sit there and wait for him to knee himself in the face.

Nitro: <Pfft. What is this, your first day on the—>

Ever: ...What.

-Nitro crashes into the wall, out cold-

Lakinala Pokecenter

Gabe: Oh yeah I forgot about that ability!

...Crap.

Phoenix: Huh. League Challenge.

-He taps it and starts watching.-

edited 11th Nov '17 11:02:18 AM by redneckphoenix

Jester clapped at the spear, "Very good, very good, Been awhile though. How would you feel about being the Calamity again? It's not as if this island can get more destroyed."

A Jester centurion entered, "Guardians report activity in the Joyous Forest. The Great Deku is speaking."

"I swear ever since that sword appeared..."

Ever: So. Want to explain that?

Flint: Mega Lopunny's ability, instead of Cute Charm, is Scrappy. He can hit Ghosts with Normal and Fighting-type moves. Which, coincidentally, he has plenty of.

Ever: ... -annoyed grunt-

Flint: Next Pokemon?

Ever: Right.

-he sends out Jab-

Flint: More Ice-types? You really weren't prepared for me, were you?

Ever: I think it's quite obvious that I was not.

Flint: Well, I'm sure I'll see you again next time. Lopunny, begin with Charm.

Lopunny: <Aww, you wouldn't really hurt a precious little rabbit, would you?>

Jab: <...I mean, I absolutely would.

...

...Really. Promise.>

Jab: <I'm just...not feeling it today.>

Flint: High Jump Kick!

Lopunny: <Yeah!>

-he leaps high into the air, diving down again-

Ever: Jab, Protect, and then Ice Shard.

-the Lopunny meets a wall of force, but casually leaps off, turning over in mid-air. Jab takes advantage of this to lunge forwards, and Lopunny kicks off the ground...using his ears, and easily evading Jab's strike. He twists again, high above Jab, and drops with a second High Jump Kick, but once again Jab parries with a Protect, before scampering away-

Ever: Well, I don't know about you, but I can keep this up all day. Jab, Ice Shard.

-Jab takes off at a dead sprint, practically vanishing as dozens of slivers of ice approach Lopunny from all sides-

Flint: You're really going with ice? Lopunny, Fire Punch!

-Lopunny's ears and fists burst into flame as he punches the shards out of the air in a flurry of blows, raising a cloud of steam-

Ever: I'll go with whatever leaves Lopunny blind! Now Surf!

-Jab's trail becomes clearly visible as water rises in his wake, and sweeps inwards towards Lopunny-

Flint: That isn't the way to go about it either! Mirror Coat!

-and bounces off a prismatic bubble, Jab narrowly dodging the blowback-

Ever: And now for the real trick, Icy Wind!

-Jab stops on a dime, whipping around and exhaling a chilly wind across the field, freezing a thin layer of ice across the soaked ground. He grins at his handiwork, skating back and forth along the ice. Lopunny, meanwhile, takes a cautious step onto the ice, and immediately starts to slip-

Ever: Looks like your Lopunny's getting a case of cold feet.

Flint: Well, then, our blazing determination will rise above it! Lopunny, High Jump Kick!

Ever: (lazily) Protect.

-once again, Lopunny bounces off the shield-

Flint: Not bad. Really nice stalling there. But you're all out of cheap tricks, and while I'm sure your Weavile relies on his speed, Lopunny's just as fast as he is! Now, Lopunny, High Jump Kick again, maximum velocity!

Lopunny: <Finally!>

-and he vanishes-

Ever: ...What.

-and reappears, pressed against the ceiling-

Jab: <What.>

-and then vanishes again, before smashing into Jab at full force-

-as the rope and gum are tossed into the air, they dissolve into a swarm of tiny Delibird images in a flash of light, which dart around the city turning Buneary back into their original species and repairing some nibbled produce displays-

-Rufus is returned to normal size and costume, his head un-tefloned-

Rufus: <Um. How'd I get here?>

-Mew considers, licking her ice cream-

Mew: ~That's it for the moment, I'll grab you when I need another favor~

-Colton is blipped to the Observatory-

Lanakila Center

-Kaito smiles-

Kaito: Yeah, it is. Glad to see you're feeling better, sis.

-They wince at the High Jump Kick-

Kaito: Ouch, Scrappy.

Mysterious Woman: <Well, uh, you kind of got possessed by an evil Vivillon and tried to turn everyone into Buneary. But don't worry, we fixed it. ...Somehow.>

-she holds out a hand to the Delibird for a fist-bump-

-Jab is carried across the room by the force of the kick-

Ever: Jab!

Jab: <That's...>

Lopunny: <What?>

Jab: <All...>

Flint: What?

Jab: <You...>

Both: <What.

Jab: <GET!>

Ever: Knew you could do it. Surf.

-and Jab hits the Lopunny with a Surf at point-blank, hurling him back onto the ice, before landing in a heap-

Jab: (picking himself up) <You think one little Fighting-type attack...is gonna stop me?>

-and he stands up straight, planting his paws on his hips-

Jab: <You are way too slow, and way too low on the food chain, to even think about beating me!>

Lopunny: <Put your money where your mouth is, weasel.>

Flint: Not bad, but I doubt Weavile's in any shape to dodge another kick! Lopunny, finish him off!

-Lopunny prepares to jump...and makes it about two feet-

Ever: Well, fancy that.

Lopunny: <What the—>

-he jumps again, this time managing an impressive four feet-

Jab: <Performance issues? Happens to everyone sooner or later.>

Ever: The trick here, gentlemen, is that nobody ever really considered Jab's ability. You're familiar with it, right?

Flint: ...Ah.

Ever: See, it can be hard to notice Pressure, especially if you're not experiencing it firsthand, but I'm sure Lopunny noticed. And I counted five High Jump Kicks, so he must be ''really' worn out by all that bounding. Right?

Lopunny: <...Right...>

Ever: So there you have it. An ice-covered field and a rabbit that can't jump. I counted the moves, too. You're all out of new tactics.

-he points at Flint-

Ever: I should make something clear. I did not get here by accident. Jab, finish this off! Ice Shards until the Miltank come home!

Jab: <With gusto.>

-he vanishes. Lopunny puts up his fists for a Fire Punch, but before he can begin, Jab's already sent him flying, hitting him multiple times before he hits the ground-

Ever: So there.