Who here was officially diagnosed with autism or Asperger's?

People don't know I have Asperger's, they just think I'm weird.

Some people on my course who are close to me managed to figure out I had Asperger's because they have relatives who behave the same way I do.

edited 15th Mar '14 8:15:32 AM by PeacefulApocalypse

Hey all.

I haven't had any official diagnoses until fairly recently. I've been chronically underemployed since I graduated college a few years ago, For some time I had blamed this on the poor economy which conveniently tanked right around the same time, but I had sort of suspected something about myself as well. I had some issues with a temp job a few months back (which I had on top of this part time retail job I'm desperately trying to leave), and when I approached my job coaches about it, they seemed to think that there was something holding me back and referred me to the state job center who were able to set up a screening for me.

I just got the results back, and while they apparently didn't see enough evidence to conclusively diagnose me with Asperger's, the results did say I came across as unusually stiff and awkward socially and that I probably had some kind of pervasive developmental disorder, which does include the autism spectrum. ...I'm really not sure what that means I can say about my diagnosis, although it's also worth mentioning that my long time college girlfriend (recently turned wife) has been officially diagnosed with high functioning Asperger's since she was a kid, and I have an excellent relationship with her.

And sadly, that's the sort of thing that prevents people from getting jobs. It shouldn't, but since when were human beings, including employers, rational? They hire and fire people for stupid reasons that have nothing to do with job performance.

I envy that. And it does seem that people on the spectrum are best suited to each other than people outside the spectrum. I imagine your wife better understands you, and you her, than people outside the spectrum would.

The funny thing is I never even considered that she had anything like that until near the end of school, nor did I suspect that there was anything up with me. I suppose I'm still technically undiagnosed, but I wonder how much of that is because of the scope of the tests they used or inexperience on the part of the people who evaluated me. Maybe it doesn't matter anyway since the whole point was to see if I qualified for specialized state vocational services, which I did, but it would be nice to know if I specifically have Asperger's.

Well, I can say this. Until awareness of adult autism spectrum conditions (I hate calling them "disorders", since they tend to come with advantages oftentimes as well as disadvantages) increases, society will continue to reject those who are weird, odd, "something off about that person", etc.

I once read a homophobic comment in an article where someone said he hated gays because "You can just tell, there's something a little off about them, they're not normal". That prejudice against gays easily applies to people on the autism spectrum - there's just something a little "off" about us, and that alone is enough to keep us from getting jobs we're qualified for. It's retarded. It's true though, that employers would rather hire somebody who's fun to have around the office, than someone who can do the job.

We work our asses off to try to come across as "normal" by mainstream society's standards, meeting them 95% of the way, and then they bitch and moan about that missing 5% that we're unable to fill in.

It's not just autistic people who have problems with this stuff.

I have a friend who was fired from his internship for being "anti-social".

It may not be just autistics, but it's disproportionately autistics. Hell, even little things like not being good with eye contact, stiff body language, shit like that which we're often aware of (because it's been pointed out to us) but unable to completely control - that shit gets us unable to get hired, or gets us fired.

What happened with your "anti-social" friend? I mean, what determined him to be "anti-social"?

edited 9th Apr '14 11:40:46 AM by BonsaiForest

Fuck if I know.

Still, he doesn't seem autistic to me.

And among friends, he's as social as anyone.

edited 9th Apr '14 11:42:40 AM by Rosvo1

I'd like to know just WHY THE FUCK "anti-social" matters on a fucking job that isn't about dealing with the public. God damn neurotypical society.

My mom is always throwing around the word "antisocial " when I won't hang out with or talk to people. I hate it

My brother is always expressing insane political and philosophical views and saying "Think about it from a rational perspective" immediately afterward, as if that makes his (oftentimes disprovable) views true.

Regarding your mom, what the hell is she trying to accomplish? Obviously, it's not working. Bitching about how you're "antisocial" isn't going to make you suddenly want to talk to people you're not interested in, or necessarily make you ashamed of not being interested in such. So the hell is she accomplishing? Anyway, she knows you're on the spectrum, so doesn't she even try to learn what you're like, and what makes you different from an NT?

For whatever it's worth, I do give myself credit for holding my retail job for as long as I have. The problem is I just straight up can't stand it. It's draining, thankless work that earns me next to nothing in terms of both money and the kind of work experience I actually need to get a decent career. The only reason I haven't quit is because having nothing would be worse in the long run.

Yeah, my job isn't great either. It's boring more than anything else. The good news is that as the head of the office is moving to another office, she wants me to come with her, and she promises to get me a job more related to computers, and even possibly an Aspergers support group, if she's able to find them (I see nothing like that in the South Jersey area). Either way, at least I'll be doing something more.

And I'm glad this is happening, because in this stupidly socially rigged world, we're unlikely to get the jobs we can actually do, that match our actual skills. I had a brief conversation with a woman on the spectrum who got a job in IT, which you'd think would be perfect for one of us, only to find that people steal credit for her work and asskiss and move their way up, while even when she exposes their corruption, she gets nothing for it. So she quit her job and became a night security guard, which meant not having to deal with people.

I want to meet people I can relate to, and I don't know where that is or how.

My mom calls me antisocial. And I hate it so much. Then my dad yells at me and says, "THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU." Once he even told me I was a filthy animal just because I acted up.

The hell? Can't these idiots learn what autism IS instead of worrying about trying to force us to be "normal"? I really hate when people can't accept others' differences and feel the need to destroy difference. My younger brother, who has become ultra extreme right-wing, hates diversity and says that society accepts too many different things (by which he went on to say he means, goths, transgendered, tomboys, basically everything that isn't "alpha male" and "girly girl" female). Well, autism IS diversity, and includes a lot of what he hates, and he has an autistic brother: me. He should fucking learn some respect. Fortunately, he's out of the house now.

I'm learning how to explain to people that I really truly have Aspergers and only explain it when I don't make sense, or confuse/offend/etc. someone. No one thinks I'm antisocial, thank goodness, but I know I'm not used to the social scene.

Bonsai-So, being a goth myself, your brother automatically hates me. Yeah. Fun. There are still people like that in the world. I sometimes forget.

Even without taking autism into account, it seems like there's this cultural stigma against introversion in general, at least in the US.

That's weird cosmiderimg how much stigma there is against self expression

,

but those go hand in hand, right? A stigma against introversion (hi there, I'm one!) and self-expression go together.

It sounds oxymoronic to me.

Well, introversion is really defined by how you recharge after a vacation, trip, day activity, etc. Me, I go into my room and shut everyone out. I don't even want dinner. I get myself together by being alone. That seems irregular to many, many people (my family included. arg.). It's self expression in a sense, to indulge and let loose who you really are instead of pretending to be a normal person when it comes to that sort of stuff.

I was thinking along the lines of employment as well. I once had an interview at a different retail store after I had filled out one of those stupid personality tests they make you take along with filling out the online application. (This was pretty early on after I had graduated college, before I realized you pretty much need to BS those things if you want them to take a second look at you.)

Anyway, I get that in a retail setting, it helps to be a bit more extraverted, but when it came up in the interview, it was the way the question was phrased that bugged me. It was like "Judging from your personality profile, it appears you may be an introvert. Is it true that you dislike talking to people?" Being introverted does not mean that you dislike people, just that you expend energy being around them.

That hurts. Man. People aren't the problem. it's when they don't leave you alone when asked to.

The way companies hire people is just stupid. Irrelevant job interview questions that seem designed to (I know they actually aren't, but they serve to) ferret out autistics, personality tests, and judging people based on appearance, and you know what it results in? People who can social skills their way past the tests and know how to bullshit them and exude an aura of confidence end up getting jobs that half the time they're not good at. It encourages douchebags to get in the office, instead of hard working people.

It's been especially tough going for all these years without any diagnosis. In fact, I'm still not sure if I can label myself as having Asperger's with this general diagnosis of "pervasive developmental disorder", though it probably means I have some of those traits at least. The good news is I now qualify for these state vocational services, which I'm hoping will allow me to overcome or maybe even sidestep those barriers.