Question for the transgendered

So, I suppose I should root this in my own background: I'm female biologically; if asked, I would identify with the female gender, but this is more out of convention than out of belief that I am of either gender; I am predominately attracted to men, but calling myself heterosexual carries about the same conviction as calling myself a woman does - which is, nearly none. The only possible way I can conceive of gender mattering to me in any fundamental way is when it comes to sexuality, i.e. in the professed gender and sexual tastes of men.

While I don't deny that gender exists, at least on a socially constructed level, I'm having trouble understanding the urge to identify as either. I identify as a female because I have a female's body, and because being a female means finding a partner who is a heterosexual male much more easily than if I identified as anything else. I also identify as female because I dislike going against convention for no good reason - and I have none save a belief that I'm not particularly convinced of the importance of bearing a gender.

Whether because of biology or upbringing, I have always felt more at ease in male company, and I feel like I can never be as frank, blunt, and natural with female friends; to this extent, I suppose gender does affect me. I've heard all my life that I think, speak, and behave like a man, but I suspect that simply has to do with the qualities we like to ascribe to masculinity. I feel I have as many traditionally female qualities, in any case.

So, in conclusion, I'd like to learn more about how other people feel about their sex and gender, and how important their gender identification is to them. Everyone is welcome to reply, obviously, but I am especially curious to learn what drives transgendered people in their self-identification.

Thank you.

edited 29th Jan '11 5:02:10 PM by kashchei

You seem to basically fit as 'genderqueer' - which is a looser term than transgendered. 'genderqueer' = you very loosely follow gender roles, similar to 'tomboy' girls or 'nancy' boys

ELABORATIONEDIT: "Gender as a social construct" is so much foolishness. Except for those very few who are born hermaphrodites, you're either male or female. The rest is window dressing. Some who like the window dressing of the opposite sex more think that makes them members of a different gender.

It's just as foolish as a human being claiming to be an animal, but nowadays people have enough time and money on their hands to waste both on flights of fancy.

You (Kashchei) say you are female, physically. In all practicality, that's the end of it.

edited 29th Jan '11 5:36:31 PM by Wanderhome

I don't think she was asking for a label.

I don't get the identification thing either, so nothing else to add.

I wasn't. The fourth paragraph explicitly outlines what I'm asking, if that helps.

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Doesn't genderqueer fit into the Transgender Spectrum of Confusing Doom with things like transvestite and transsexual though?

As for my own gender and sex. Well I'm female physically. There's no denying this in any form. I generally feel that I am a girl when it comes to my gender. I have however from some of my earliest days pondered about my lack of a penis. There are periods of time where I feel that something is wrong because I do not have one and because I am not physically male overall. I have a desire to wear clothing of the opposite sex and to try and pass as a member of the opposite sex and have for a while now. There are times when I look in the mirror and the image I see is interpreted as male and not female. Despite this I am still a woman. That is what I feel like the vast majority of the time. I'm just occasionally a man. I guess...

As for what drives this...I have no fucking clue. I'd love to know why little Aondeug wondered where her penis was. It's just how I am it seems.

edited 29th Jan '11 5:28:18 PM by Aondeug

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Should I be mentioning my sexual orientation as well?

edited 4th Feb '11 6:54:33 PM by Madrugada

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@Aon: Sure, be as specific and detailed as you like.

edited 4th Feb '11 6:54:42 PM by Madrugada

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Well, I'm certain that I'm 100% man. What with having a penis, and love of movies where someone gets their shit wrecked.

But, this topic does raise an interesting question, in that is gender an entirely socially fabricated construct, or an inherent psychological one?

That question's better answered by a more knowledgeable man than myself, and one not on cold medicine at the moment.

What with having a penis, and love of movies where someone gets their shit wrecked.

How is the latter related to being male?

It was an admittedly poor attempt at humor, with the notion that men like action movies.

"ELABORATIONEDIT: "Gender as a social construct" is so much foolishness. Except for those very few who are born hermaphrodites, you're either male or female. The rest is window dressing. Some who like the window dressing of the opposite sex more think that makes them members of a different gender."

You seem to be confusing sex and gender. They are not one and the same.

edited 29th Jan '11 5:46:00 PM by kashchei

I am not. I am saying the concept of gender, as a separate quality from sex, is so much bunk, resulting from too much cultural baggage with sex roles.

@Wanderhome So, because it makes no sense to you it's all a load of tripe? Okay.

Sex roles nonetheless exist, and understanding their origin and application is key to understanding gender.

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All right then! Orientation. I am pansexual meaning that I am attracted to all sorts all up and down the gender/sex scales of doom with no identity that really daunts me in that regard. I am not however "gender blind". I do notice gender differences and those do have an effect on what I find attractive. It's not something I pay attention to too much, but it is there. I have preferences in that regard yes, but there's no concrete barrier of "Gender/sex combo x doesn't get me going". Currently I lean more towards women (regardless of their sex). Earlier in my life I swung more towards men. I also went through a period of not really being attracted to much of anyone who wasn't incredibly androgynous (so like one person I knew).

Also to the person linked "people who think they are animals" or whatever to Furry Fandom: Learn to do some research ok?

Those are called gender roles, i.e. social roles ascribed to you in function of your sex. The window dressing has taken a life of its own. To the point that being a woman, as a social existence, and therefore as an identity, is about the window dressing. Not the X chromosome. Humans are beings of artificiality.

edited 29th Jan '11 5:48:53 PM by Ardiente