"Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior" lol

Well let's not get carried away here. The woman in the article is not representative of anything, she's simply a troll. I think overall what she stimulates for our forum is a discussion of how strict we think parenting should normally be, whatever the ethnicity.

I feel total bans are ridiculous because sooner or later, you have to leave the household, and you're trying to interact in a world that has all these things but you've blocked yourself from a lot of it. That's going to stunt social relationships somehow. You can say tv is crap, sure, but that doesn't mean there's absolutely NOTHING there that a kid could possibly watch. Same with video games. Personally though, once a child hits high school, I wouldn't really regulate much at all because they need to think for themselves by then.

I couldn't read articles since the list at beginning of the first one made me cringe so much ._.;

Um the article mentioned that Western parents don't ever call their kids a disgrace getting a B. That's a DAMN good thing they don't because yelling at your kids and calling them names is child abuse.

Hell, this whole article is full of examples of child abuse. There's a difference between trying to help your kid succeed and emotionally abusing them. This whole article sounds like "lol I'm superior because I abuse my kids"

I grew up in a Western family and had reasonable parents. My sister still used to get frustrated with work and get upset when she didn't think she was doing well enough. I don't want to think about what it would have been like if my parents supported this approach to parenting. This whole article is just horrible.

At first I thought this was satire...? It's not...?

Who knows? Unless we hear from her kids, there's no way to tell how serious she actually is.

Crazy bitch. Wost parent ever? Maybe. She seems to think that marks are a cmplete and totally accurate rating of your ability, and that playing an increasingly outdated instrument will make you smart.

@Fanty... what? That sounds like a horrible way to raise kids to me. The vast majority of kids are fine with video games, because they do their work anyways. The kids that get addicted to video games usually would have problems with something else anyways.

Thread Hop

My dad agrees with this article and thinks he should have raised me this way.

...Should I be worried that he said that?

worried?? Hell, I'd have run away already.

I am boundlessly angered by this. These mothers are all monsters.

If there are past lives, I curse every single one of them with a thousand life times of misery. And if someone tried to raise me in such a manner, I would try to kill them at every opportunity and with great glee.

my actual upbringing made this a...bit of an emotionally invested thing for me.

edited 12th Jan '11 11:36:47 PM by NickTheSwing

^^^Yeah, you should. But don't fear, hes too lazy to do that now and he won't have another children.

What I dislike about one-size-fits-all claims to superior parenting approaches like this article's (besides the child abuse) is that it ignores the point people have been bringing up in this thread: you have to match the parenting to the kid. Kids do not come with instruction manuals. It's an interesting exercise watching my little brother grow up, and his various ways of making my mom and stepdad tear their hair out. What worked for me does not always work for him. And that's the way it should be. Every kid is unique, and you have to find the right balance for each of them.

Of course, the flipside of every family being unique means that every parent is unique too, and should do what works in their family rather than trying to be carbon copies of whatever formula is being touted in the latests parenting bestseller. Just as a parent should meet a kid's individual needs and give them freedom to exercise their individual capabilities, they also need to develop a parenting style that plays to their own strengths and compensates for their own weaknesses. Some parents are just less organized or educated or charming or personable or whatever than others. There's no "perfect parent" formula and I wish a lot of parents would stop tormenting themselves over trying to find it.

Hmmm. I wonder if a "Hypothetical Parenting Manifesto" thread is in order.

increasingly outdated instrument

You, sir, have besmirched the honor of my dear violin. I demand pistols at dawn!

I would dearly like to see what her kids are like when they're out of her sight.

Probably either extremely resentful and distanced, or too damn scared of her to be considered autonomous and free thinking.

What I dislike about one-size-fits-all claims to superior parenting approaches like this article's (besides the child abuse) is that it ignores the point people have been bringing up in this thread: you have to match the parenting to the kid. Kids do not come with instruction manuals. It's an interesting exercise watching my little brother grow up, and his various ways of making my mom and stepdad tear their hair out. What worked for me does not always work for him. And that's the way it should be. Every kid is unique, and you have to find the right balance for each of them.

She kind of answers this objection in the article.

Jed took me aside. He told me to stop insulting Lulu—which I wasn't even doing, I was just motivating her—and that he didn't think threatening Lulu was helpful. Also, he said, maybe Lulu really just couldn't do the technique—perhaps she didn't have the coordination yet—had I considered that possibility?

"You just don't believe in her," I accused.

"That's ridiculous," Jed said scornfully. "Of course I do."

"Sophia could play the piece when she was this age."

"But Lulu and Sophia are different people," Jed pointed out.

"Oh no, not this," I said, rolling my eyes. "Everyone is special in their special own way," I mimicked sarcastically. "Even losers are special in their own special way. Well don't worry, you don't have to lift a finger. I'm willing to put in as long as it takes, and I'm happy to be the one hated. And you can be the one they adore because you make them pancakes and take them to Yankees games."

I knew there was a miserable, dominated husband lurking behind this article.

If by "kind of" you mean "completely fails to" then yes, that's one way of putting it.

That's more than a little sickening.

Finally read through these posts. Honestly I don't see the point; these traits aren't necessarily covered by one race. Take my parents for example; they're not Asian, but they were strict and demanding like the woman who wrote this. Looking back it had it's sucky points but my siblings and I turned out ok.

I applaud her; the woman has the balls to go out and speak her mind on a subject that most people would disagree with.

I think its more the implied rebuke of every other style of child rearing that people don't like. And if I am honest, being proud to say a really stupid thing in public doesn't make you brave, it makes you stupid.

So her thoughts on child rearing are stupid?

Not neccesarily, but I was pointing out that I disagree with someone possessing "the balls to say something others wouldn't" being a good thing.

It depends on the context dude.

True, and this is one of those cases. Her advice is nothing that isn't already done by a lot of people, and for the most part her way of raising people can lead to just as many problems as "Everyone is special" style of parenting.

Just so you know, this is being discussed on the James Randi forums too ([1]). Someone else brought up the book Harvard Girl ([2]), which is basically this article in book form.

It's also the arrogance of saying "even losers are special". That's what really ticked me off.