is this villain believable?

this guy...he studies in High School and he's clever like really clever. but he also has a little bit of a problem at home. the fact that his family is about to die. so he needs money and in the school there's a little bit of drug selling and the like but he's no low scumbag runner oh no he isn't so he decides to take steps...getting dirt on his teachers so he can blackmail them into giving him test results, then selling the test results in high prices while introducing dope in the school. still such power for a student would make people suspicious especially because this person has to retreat constantly and needs to hold his power position he decides to run for president and decides to smear the other candidate with accusations of HIM being the drug seller in the school and the like and setting up with false leads so the heroes (school journalists) believe this false story.

Why would a ton of people pay for test answer keys when there are easier and less expensive ways to cheat? And the blackmailing teachers bit is suspect too. Most teachers will play the "who will they believe?" game. The threat of blackmail is entirely dependent on people believing the information when it is revealed. Who will people see as a more credible source, a student with money problems or an established adult?

edited 20th Dec '10 1:31:42 PM by Alkthash

@Alk: I had an AP Phys class, where the homework was done online, and they were WICKED hard, harder than the actual tests, and a kid made some money off of selling the answers before I snitched on his ass.

That might be better for your story.

i knew there was something bugging me. it was that i didn't put myself in the mind of the teacher... yeah that makes more sense. although i'm trying to play him more as the Invincible at the top film noir villain (think...I forgot his name the guy John Huston plays in Chinatown (the movie is kinda like Veronica M Ars meets the The Wire and sits down a talks with Brick) so that means that the snitching cannot damage him. maybe i'll check the background

and seriously guys any fridge logic you can bring would be REALLY helpful

edited 20th Dec '10 8:34:03 PM by juancarlos11

I tip my hat to you, Mr AHR. I too snitched on cheaters in high school. :)

Back on topic, it sounds like too much background info for just an antagonist (even the lead antagonist). I'd say the blackmailing of the teachers and profiting from drug-dealing are interchangeable and that you only need to do one of them - or do one of them plus generalize the rest as "being involved in many other shady things, too."

It also sounds strange to have the story take place when this character is a teen, then jump forward at least seventeen years in time (only people of age 35 or older can run for president) and have the story continue. Time lapses can work in single stories like in Breath of Fire 3, Vandal Hearts 2, or Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, but it's usually better to have time lapses be in between complete stories like numerous continuous series have done (Star Wars, Suikoden, Fire Emblem, etc.).

Don't let this criticism get to you, though. The same thing happens to me when I'm in the brainstorming stage for a new work. The idea certainly has potential, and I'm interested in what you'll write with it.

edited 24th Dec '10 9:09:01 AM by colbertimposter

I actually know several people who fit that description rather well. Granted, all the dealers I know indulge in their drugs as well. So that part is somewhat unbelievable. As a dealer, he'd have to buy from someone, and how would he be able to know the authenticity without sampling the merchandise?

edited 24th Dec '10 9:23:44 AM by BudZer

Fob it off onto a subordinate. The last thing a dealer wants to do is sample their own product.

actually, it's class president.and the whole plot happens in school. the thing is that I want him be in many shady things, but I want to lead the reader into thinking it's someone else so all these plots happen...In a day...Yeah, I know how much I'm biting. Let's hope I can chew.

That's good. My bad. The class president sounds better, because now it all can happen in a short time-frame.

Are you going to make it ably related to real politics? The thought of this in particular is getting me giddy.

yeah, that's sort of the objective. I was reading Transmetropolitan and I thought of the Idea of moving the same Archetypes to an School...But then I swa the Wire and I liked that Treatment a lot more. So that's where I'me really borrowing. A series that has a Sense of hmor as well of Critique and understanding of politics.