The New Touhou Character Alternate Interpretation Compendium!

But again; Flandre was the Scarlet family's "Dirty Little Secret." She literally never left the basement for nearly five-hundred years. Why would the Gate Guard have anything to do with her, when she never has a chance to come in contact? I'm sure Meiling knew what the source of the strange sounds in the basement were, but I doubt she saw much of Flan during that time.

Meiling's had eleven pages and 265 posts dedicated to her. She's more popular then we could EVER POSSIBLY IMAGINE!

For comparison, Marisa got seven pages and 193 posts.

Using maths, I can deduce that Marisa is only 73% as popular as Meiling.

edited 24th Jul '11 1:23:35 AM by asterism

My god. Get SDM in here! His milimarisa no longer measures right! Math is dying! M. C. Escher paintings will be called still-lifes unless we do something STAT!

edited 24th Jul '11 1:31:23 AM by Pulse

We must change character then?

As far as I know, nothing in canon says that Flandre isn't allowed outside the basement. It only mentions her not being allowed outside the mansion.

The marisa is based on posts to Danbooru, not anything else. You might as well try to measure the gram based on a millilitre of lead.

edited 24th Jul '11 1:32:23 AM by SuperDimensionman

You kiddin'? We still got plenty of Meimentum left!

I just painted a target on my head. Just so ya know.

Flan pretty clearly spells out she's been in the basement for a very long time. And her final spell card refers to "495 years of imprisonment." If she were allowed to wander the Huge-ass mansion, I doubt she'd call it imprisonment. What's more, in Marisa's Extra, she says, "I've been resting in the basement. For about 495 years." Kinda unambiguous after that.

edited 24th Jul '11 1:57:04 AM by Pulse

If you're going to change topic, please wait at least an hour! Please?

...*typetypetypetype*

For crimes against comedy, I have no choice but to execute you. Prepare yourself.

edited 24th Jul '11 1:42:58 AM by asterism

Flan pretty clearly spells out she's been in the basement for a very long time. And her final spell card refers to "495 years of imprisonment." I f she were allowed to wander the Huge-ass mansion, I doubt she'd call it imprisonment.

There's one line in Marisa's script that talks about the basement as part of a joke. That's all. Everything else only talks about her not being allowed out of the mansion, and except for the ones from Imperishable Night, the spellcard descriptions on the wiki are made up by the editors.

...Should I paint another target on my face for being an idiot? I think I've earned it...

Regardless, which makes more sense from a common sense view; Allowing the powerful, uncontrollable little girl to run about the house, putting everyone at risk, or keeping her in the basement, where she can neither hurt herself or anyone else? Granted, it sucks for her, but at least everyone is alive, right?

edited 24th Jul '11 2:02:13 AM by Pulse

I ate some paper and this came out.

Nighttime had come, shrouding Gensokyo in a dark black veil. It had been a long day for Cirno, but she glad to finally be able to relax in the comfort of her home alongside her friends. Except they weren’t there.

“Let’s see…” Cirno mused out aloud. “Mystia’s probably scamming people, Wriggle’s likely off to wherever fireflies are at this time of night, and I’m willing to bet there’s no moon tonight. I guess Rumia likes doing some sight-seeing when she can… But where’s Dai? Hm…”

A loud, heavily accented voice interrupted her thoughts.

“Excuse me, is this where Cirno lives?”

“Who’s asking?” asked the fairy, suspicious of the voice’s owner.

“It’s…uh…um…China!” replied the voice.

“That’s weird…I don’t know a China. Oh well, better go down and check.” Cirno thought aloud.

Carefully going down each of the ladder’s steps (it hadn’t occurred to her that she could simply fly down), Cirno made her way to the bottom of the tree. It was pitch black, and no one was in sight.

“I have you now!” suddenly shouted a nearby person.

Reflexively flying into the air, Cirno barely dodged what seemed to be a green blur trying to tackle her.

“You! You’re that gatekeeper! Wait, why’d you call yourself China? And why are you attacking me?!” asked Cirno, confused by the sudden series events.

Straightening herself up, Meiling wiped the dirt off of her dress. “I’m sorry. I thought if you saw or knew who I was, you’d run away or hide. Especially after what happened to day.”

“So…why are you here?” Suddenly realizing what the gatekeeper had said, the small fairy panicked. “Wait, how’d you know about today? No one saw me! Or at least I think so…”

“Look” said an unusually annoyed Meiling, “Just because I wasn’t in front of the wall doesn’t mean I didn’t feel you going past it. Anyway, I came to thank you.”

Tilting her head slightly at the sudden expression of gratitude, Cirno asked “Thank me? For what?”

“For breaking in. Specifically, for whatever it is you did with the Young Mis- Er, I mean Flandre. After today’s events, it seems she was in a particularly good mood. And that also reflected on everyone else in the mansion. When she came out of the basement, talking about some “new friend”, we just thought she was going to go on another one of her rampages. But she didn’t. She was simply…happy and wanted to share that happiness with us all. Sakuya didn’t have to worry about cleaning, Patchouli didn’t have to worry about containing her, and Remilia could finally enjoy herself with her sister without forcing herself to imprison her again. And when I see everyone like that, I just feel…relieved.” Though she looked tired, Meiling’s face radiated an expression of relief. “Anyway, I have a favor to ask.”

“Oh.” exclaimed the fairy, surprised by the sudden request. “Uh, what kind of favor?”

The red haired woman, looking a bit uncomfortable and slightly blushing, suddenly asked “Could you break in again tomorrow?”

“Wait, the gatekeeper’s asking me to break through her gate? Isn’t that kinda stupid?

“Perhaps it might seem so. But if it makes the mansion’s residents happy, then I’m fine with it.”

“Wouldn’t you get scolded or something if I get caught? Why are you taking such risks?”

“Perhaps. Perhaps I’d even get fired. After all, what kind of a gatekeeper lets a random fairy in?” The last sentence earned her a glare from Cirno. “But the point is, I do this because I love my family. I love seeing them happy and relaxed, with smiles on their faces.”

Confused and intrigued by the words she had just heard, Cirno didn’t know what to say.

“Your…family?”

“I know, I know, it’s a weird thing to say. Especially when they appear so distant from me. After all, I’m always sitting outside the gate, and I have my own quarters in the garden, away from the mansion. Why should I care for people I rarely, if ever, see? Maybe this whole concept of family might seem silly to you, but I’m there to protect them, through thick and thin, whether the hurt is physical or emotional. And believe me, this deal with Flandre has caused a lot of hurt over the years. To see the problem so easily solved…It feels like I failed at my job as gatekeeper, but I’ve fulfilled a higher obligation. So please, come again. Make my family happy.”

And with that, she took off, not even waiting for a reply. Cirno was left alone, dumbfounded by the odd request and the speech that had followed.

...Look, someone wrote a piece of unoriginal crap. How original. Ugh...He doesn't even know how to draw a line. Honestly, who does he think he is, actually trying to write? That moron should have just focused on his med school studies instead of producing yet another fic with bad characterization and very poor grammar. He doesn't even know proper formatting!

edited 24th Jul '11 2:14:03 AM by hassanico

Flandre's spell card refers to 495 years because that's how old she is.

Anyway, I hope we're not moving on to Flandre. Faw will have an aneurysm if we do another massively popular character. Plus, I still want to analyze Kaguya next.

I don't approve of self-depreciation. It's a fun little story, I was amused by Meiling using 'China' as a pseudonym.

edited 24th Jul '11 2:16:46 AM by asterism

I didn't mean to steer the ship this way. Let's start talking about Meiling and her potential relationships with the child characters, since hassanico was so kind as to kinda bring it up.

Excessive self hate is excessive. It was kinda cute, though, to be honest, I just can't see Meiling encouraging Cirno to break in. She'd rather have a lazy day of mostly tending to the garden and playing with Cirno's group when they show up, I think.

edited 24th Jul '11 2:22:12 AM by Pulse

She's not some rampaging monster who'll kill everything in sight if you don't lock her in the cellar. Her profile specifically says she's "usually docile".

She manages to have two conversation with Aya without killing Aya. Which is no mean feat.

ARGCHBSBCKADSZLLAD FLANDRE! STOP TALKING ABOUT FLANDRE!

Calm down. There's nothing wrong with a brief diversion about a different character.

That's what we're all about.

Sorry.

Okay, seriously now, let's see... huh. Browsing through the tier list I constructed at the beginning of the thread, I feel like I made some wrong choices. I mean, it clearly isn't perfect, but... anyway.

Provided that nothing changes, we currently have... 21 upper-tier characters, 24 lower-tier, and 6 locations.

So it's kind of balanced, but only if you don't count the locations. On the other hand, all the characters people seem to be interested in right now are big names, so... I dunno. Though, I classified Kaguya as a lower-tier character. Whether that's accurate or not. *shrugs*

I dunno! I have to admit, I feel kind of like talking about Flandre now... and the SDM in general... drgh.

It was a pretty original story, really. It had an actual plot of some sort, and it's often a good thing to characterize a character by having them react to something another character did. And in this case, it wasn't the obvious thing, either. Pretty sweet, too. My only problem is Cirno's voice. She chooses her words too carefully for the childish mind we expect her to have. On the other hand, I love the idea of her speaking like that while loudly voicing all her thoughts, like she has to carefully pronounce her thoughts for the whole world to hear because she'll lose track of them otherwise or something like that.

Her parents were hippies.

Ah, yeah, sorry about that. I'm bad with titles so I couldn't come up with a decent thing. Plus, this is an excerpt from something I'm actually trying to write, so...It's from something I've so far called "Ice Fairy" but that's way off topic so how about "A loving heart"? ...Cliche, isn't it?

I have a lot of trouble with Cirno. Or rather, with all the childlike youkai. I don't think I can make characters sound childish or stupid for some reason...Though Cirno specifically comes off as way too smart in everything I wrote so far...

About that Meiling quote, it's from her Hisoutensoku ending.

And as for childlike characters, just make their speech simpler. Be more direct. When a simple-minded character is hungry, they won't say "I wouldn't be opposed to some lunch right about now", because that's the way you talk when you're trying to sound witty or something. They'll say "I'm hungry!" Of course, it's well possible that Cirno would in fact be trying to impress people with her smarts.

Now... next character! What do! We've got one vote for Kanako, one for Kaguya, and I think there was another one for someone else? Personally, I would like discussing the SDM itself, followed by Flandre, but that's just me.

edited 24th Jul '11 8:47:01 AM by Fawriel

The mansion is sentient. Somehow. Youkai mansion.

Seriously though, I have no problem with the SDM.

If not the SDM, Kaguya.

A creature of chaos.

Certainly would be interesting to discuss its (lack of) structure, though.

There will be spoilers.

From Meiling's story:

Isn't that Reimu's job, Meiling?

From Meiling's ending:

Meiling's story in 12.3 makes it pretty clear that she loves the idea of protecting something. And in her wildest fever dreams she imagines protecting the whole of Gensokyo. When she's not dreaming feverishly, she doesn't want to solo a giant god of calamity but still wants to be on the front lines of the fight. I think this goes some way of addressing why she's a gatekeeper.

She wants to be a hero but not for the fame or the fortune or the girls. She wants to be a hero because heroes protect people.

Of course, you don't get as many angry mobs trying to storm the mansion as you would in the outside world, just a few overly inquisitive fairies and youkai so Meiling gets bored sometimes and loses herself in the world of trashy tengu made shonen manga.

Is she dissatisfied with her job at the SDM? I would say she occasionally wishes it were more exciting. Her dream still has protecting the SDM except from EVIL DOPPELGANGERS! There's probably some symbolism of who she had to face but I can't think of it.

Something that's interesting about Meiling's ending, Sakuya is the one who found Meiling passed out and brought her inside the library because its the coolest part of the house. Sakuya worries about whether she should put a cool cloth on Meiling's head but Patchy tells her not to bother. Patchy seems generally annoyed by the whole thing but lets Meiling rest. So canon poo-poos the idea of Sakuya being a massive bitch to Meiling.

Also, relevant to the Flandre mini discussion, the basement of the SDM is huge. The library is located in the basement, for one thing. And there's apparently a labyrinth of some sort down there according to Inaba.

edited 24th Jul '11 8:56:47 AM by Bocaj