What An Idiot / Kevin Spencer

Kevin Spencer revolves around a chain-smoking, alcoholic, sociopathic teenager with a brain that doesn't work right, his imaginary friend who often gives Kevin bad advice, his equally-idiotic parents, and a supporting cast that often makes decisions that are just as idiotic as the main characters. As such, expect every episode to have at least one moment, whether it be from the characters being dumb or not thinking things through.

• Anastasia regularly sleeps with other men behind Percy because he can't get it up in bed. In every instance, she does it in their room, which leads to Percy discovering and beating up the man for sleeping with his wife.
  You'd Expect: That after enough instances to count, Anastasia would do it outside the house.
  Instead: She more or less continues to do it in the room, which in one instance, has led to Percy shoving Kevin's Game Boy up Marty's ass.
• In "Invisible Sociopath", Kevin fakes suicide because a member of the Quebec mafia has placed a hit on whoever screwed his wife, and Percy has sold him out so he can get the reward. Bull has a collection of phony IDs for Kevin to use.
  You'd Expect: Before Kevin makes his decision, he would research the person on the internet. There's a chance one of them might have had a hit.
  Instead: Kevin chooses the ID of Renaldo Sanchez, who died from a vicious beating, because he looks similar and Kevin wants to die like that in real life. It turns out that Renaldo was a deceased man who was wanted by the mafia.
  • While Kevin is working at the gas station, a man sees that Kevin's pin reads "Sanchez" and asks him if he has a relative named Renaldo.
    You'd Expect: Kevin would tell the man that he doesn't know Renaldo.
    Or: Kevin to realize that the man might be part of the Quebec mafia.
    Instead: Kevin tells the man that his name is Renaldo.
    The Result: It's only when the man sends two other members of the mafia that Kevin realizes that Bull stole the ID of someone else who was wanted by the mafia. He gets beaten senseless, and then crushed by the hoist six times.
    Extra Idiot Points: The narrator points out that Kevin said this because he was stupid from the fumes.
    Following This: Kevin wakes up from consciousness and tells the gang that his real name isn't Renaldo Sanchez.
    You'd Expect: Since Percy has sold Kevin out, Kevin would avoid using his real name.
    Instead: He uses his real name.
    The Result: Since Kevin's reward is three times as big as that of Sanchez, he is sent to the mafia boss.
  • Percy, under Jimmy's directions, is told by a man with serious financial concerns to torch his office (and make it look like an electrical fire). He does so by using a can of gasoline and drains it on a lamp.
    You'd Expect: Percy would leave the door open while doing so. As the narrator points out, even amateur arsonists know this.
    Instead: He leaves the door closed while setting the office ablaze.
    The Result: The resulting fire creates a vacuum which traps him inside the room.
• In "The Stripper Strikes Back", Percy can't get beer due to all brewery and liquor store employees walking off to protest privatization, and now has to pay twice as much to get beer at the Camel Toe Inn. A man who saw Percy handling himself against the strikers is impressed, and puts Percy into stopping it for $1,000. He tells Percy to do it anonymously.
  You'd Expect: Percy would at least know that "anonymously" means that he doesn't give away his identity.
  Instead: He does everything to give his name away, including saying his name outright to callers, carving his name in slashed tires, and writing his name on car windows with dog shit.
  You'd Then Expect: He would lay low until the heat is off.
  Instead: While at the Camel Toe Inn, he tells the DJ it's his birthday, which tips off all his victims and results in him getting beaten up.
• In "Fang", Percy is chosen by the city police department to take down Big Daddy Baldook, a member of the Quebec mafia. Near the end, Percy is sent to court and has to tell the court that he has been following Big Daddy during his criminal activities.
  You'd Expect: Percy to lie to the court. He knows full well what the mafia will do if he tells the truth.
  Instead: Well, he lies at first. But then he tells the court that Big Daddy has "so many garage drug labs and pimpin' deals goin' on, that if I try talkin' about him, I'd have to live the rest of my life out in dumpsters".
  The Result: At the end, Percy has to hide out in a dumpster and nearly gets shot by the mafia.
• In "A Day in School", Percy gets away with breaking into a welfare office and frames Anastasia. Anastasia finds out the truth while in prison.
  You'd Expect: Percy to pretend he didn't do anything.
  Instead: "Welfare office? Car? Shitting on a desk? Why, I don't know what you're talking about!"
  The Result: Anastasia gets bailed out with Percy's $400 for his weekly drinks, plus a few extra dollars, and Percy is sent to prison.
• At the beginning of "Squirrels", Charlie attempts to get away from the Spencers' house because he banged Anastasia behind Percy's back.
  You'd Expect: Charlie to deny doing anything. He knows full well what Percy will do to him for banging his wife.
  Instead: He asks Percy for a smoke because he left his on the table near his sofa, which gives the whole thing away. Anastasia calls him out for this.

  Anastasia: Nice goin', ya effin' asshole.

• "Ad Beer Ad":
  • Percy wins a beer-drinking contest and becomes the number-one fan of Barfy Boozehound, the mascot of Old Barfy Beer. Kevin hosts a party in his basement to celebrate.
    You'd Expect: Percy would act his best, being a celebrity and all.
    Instead: He drinks Polar Ice Beer, the competitor or Old Barfy, which ruins his career.
  • Via a drunken suggestion from Percy, Marty decides to move the Camel Toe Inn to an empty lot he owns on the Quebec border because of a new Vancouver law that bans smoking in bars. He gets Charlie to help him. As Charlie successfully lowers the Inn on the back of his pickup truck, a cop notices. Charlie can't be seen in public by the cops due to his statute of limitations.
    You'd Expect: Charlie to disguise himself or change his voice to avoid being spotted.
    Instead: He merely covers his face. In the end, the cop recognizes Charlie from his voice, and reminds Charlie that he has a day left on his statute of limitations.
• "Blackout":
  • Kevin has become too buzzed to notice the sprains and hairline fractures he'd given himself. He climbs over the fence and finds a tennis launcher.
    You'd Expect: Kevin to take home the tennis launcher.
    Instead: He launches tennis balls at the fuse box, which sets the plot in motion.
  • All the power in Landville has gone out, so Anastasia has Kevin steal a generator. Kevin steals a crane and successfully delivers the generator, while denting the house with it.
    You'd Expect: Percy to watch his language, especially considering what a kid like Kevin could do with a crane.
    Instead: "Guess the kid's good for somethin' after all. And now you went and dented the house, ya useless tool!"
    The Result: Kevin attacks Percy with the crane, leading to Percy being thrown in the garbage.
• At the beginning of "A Day Off", Percy is on the run from the cops because he stole a car.
  You'd Expect: Percy would hide out where the cops can't find him.
  Instead: He hides out in the DJ booth at the Camel Toe Inn.
  You'd Then Expect: Percy to lower his chances of being caught.
  Instead: He tells Charlie and Marty "I ain't here."
  The Result: They snitch him out.
  Marty (after Percy is beat up): We told 'em you wasn't here, Percy.
  Charlie: Well, they must've seen ya, pal.
• In a scene from "Sore Throats", Anastasia places a cactus right in front of where Percy is eating.
  You'd Expect: Percy to question why Anastasia has randomly placed a cactus directly in front of him.
  Instead: "Plants are stupid".
  The Result: Anastasia blasts him at full force with water from a fire hydrant. And the fork he was using to eat with gets lodged inside him.
• In "Hell or High Water", Percy is on the run by hillbillies for breaking into a house, stealing some stuff, killing a fish, and (presumably) getting caught sleeping with another woman or being caught masturbating. He takes his family on vacation.
  You'd Expect: Percy would find a place where the possibility of them getting caught would be minimal.
  Instead: He chooses to hide out in a ghost town.
  Even Worse: This ghost town turns out to be the set where Pornman and Afroman are filming their next porno.
  The Result: The hillbillies soon discover where the Spencers are hiding. Charlie does come to their rescue, but not without dying.
• At the end of "Runaway", Kevin and Percy are sent to jail. Percy notices Kevin has a pack of smokes (the same pack that Kevin stole from him at the beginning of the episode).
  You'd Expect: That Percy would tell Kevin to put them away, considering the rest of the inmates are bound to notice.
  Instead: He takes the whole pack away from Kevin, smokes one and says "Maybe that'll teach ya not to steal my smokes. Who's laughin' now, lunatic?".
  The Result: The other inmates overhear Percy. One of the inmates takes note that Percy lied about having smokes, and now Percy has to be his bitch.
  Percy: Uh-oh.
• In "Pat-riot-ism", Kevin gets a diary where he writes his personal thoughts and feelings about everyone he knows.
  You'd Expect: That Kevin would be hide the diary where Percy and Anastasia can't find it.
  Instead: He leaves it on the kitchen table. This leads to Percy and Anastasia finding it, and Kevin ends up being the laughingstock of the town.
  • Also from the same episode, Percy gets pranked by the host of radio program Hal and Hank's Hilarious Hijinx while ordering food for him and Anastasia from MuffBurger. This kicks off when Percy attempts to order food from the drive-thru without a car, because "fuckers suspended my drivers license".
    You'd Expect: Percy would order through the restaurant. The host even points this out.
    Instead: "Well, why don't you live my life for me, prick? I'm only used to usin' the drive-thru, so just give me two cheeseburgers, fries, and a coke."
    The Result: He ends up getting pranked. He doesn't notice the prank until he ends up requesting his order the third time.
    After This: Percy and Anastasia run up to the window to confront the host.
    You'd Then Expect: The host would not mention the prank and give Percy his food without question.
    Instead: He gives away the whole prank.
    The Result: Percy slams the window on the side of the host's head and punches his face sixteen times.
• In "The Heroic Spencers", the Spencers get the idea of getting a reward after stopping a robbery. While Percy is in the restroom, Anastasia tells Kevin of her plan to kill Percy so she and Kevin can have the reward to themselves. Percy returns from the restroom and asks his family what they were talking about.
  You'd Expect: Kevin to not reveal the plan.
  Instead: He tells Percy about how he and Anastasia intend to kill him and steal his part of the reward. Anastasia calls Kevin out for this.
  Anastasia: Holy fuck, your head don't work right! Ya don't tell the guy you's gonna double-cross that ya's gonna double-cross him! I mean, sweet blessed Jesus! Let's just go to the bank! (to herself) Stupid no-good son of a bitch kid.
  • The Spencers go to the bank to get their reward. When they get there, they see that the cops are there investigating.
    You'd Expect: They would get away from the scene. Percy even suggests this the minute they arrive.
    Instead: They stay there and attempt to get their reward.
    The Result: It goes about as well as you'd expect, with Percy and Anastasia first causing a ruckus loud enough for the bank manager to come out, they curse out the manager; which then leads to them calling each other fat and Anastasia making fun of how Percy can't get it up, ending with them fighting. Back at the house, Kevin rightfully calls his parents cheap, stupid, good-for-nothing assholes for blowing any slim chance they had for collecting the reward money.
• In "Hostage Cupcake", the Animal Rights for Society & Environment (A.R.S.E.) trashes up the pet shop in the mall. Anastasia witnesses it.
  You'd Expect: Anastasia would just leave the spot without saying a word.
  Instead: When the cops come, she suggests that they take a hostage "because that's what I always tell my fatass husband to do, but does he listen?".
  The Result: Anastasia becomes the hostage of A.R.S.E.
• In "Blow Job", Kevin and Charlie are storm chasing as a hurricane hits Landville.
  You'd Expect: One of them to realize how dangerous this is, especially considering that they're dealing with a category 5 hurricane.
  Instead: Charlie drives right through the hurricane, resulting in the car being swept away into the ocean.
  Extra Idiot Points: As he drives into the storm, Charlie admits that he should be turning around, but is somehow drawn into it by his naïve stupidity.
  You'd Then Expect: Charlie to tell Kevin to swim to shore with him.
  Instead: Charlie tells Kevin to stay behind while he gets help. Kevin figures out the hard way that Charlie intended to leave him behind, and as such, heads back home by himself.
  • The hurricane ends up wrecking the entire house and takes away the Spencers' big-screen TV that Percy got out of a court settlement (long story short, his penis was shredded off by a paper shredder). Percy has finished explaining the entire story to an insurance adjuster.
    You'd Expect: The insurance adjuster would believe Percy this once. Anastasia even vouches for Percy.
    Instead: He doesn't believe that Percy, an unemployed bum, would be able to get a Maximus home theater system.
• In "Operators Are Standing By", Percy has a plan to get his workman's comp so they don't cut off his check. Kevin has become fascinated with squeegee workers.
  You'd Expect: Kevin to not get distracted and remember Percy's plan.
  Instead: Kevin ends up being too focused on the squeegee kid, which results in him missing his cue and Percy having his workman's comp cut off.
• In "Bruno Gerussi Must Die Again", Kevin lands Percy on the American game show, Who Wants to Marry a Prostitute?. They have to travel to America by car. Percy has stolen a car.
  You'd Expect: Percy to remove any and all incriminating evidence from the car.
  Instead: Being Percy, he doesn't bother to check first.
  The Result: The family gets pulled over and the car is investigated; it ultimately gets taken away. The Spencers then get to America by hitching a ride in Charlie's pickup truck.
• In "Mont Surreal", the Spencers are riding a train to Montreal to visit Percy's father. The train has a "no smoking" rule.
  You'd Expect: They would at least listen to the rule, lest they get kicked off.
  Instead: Percy and Kevin proceed to smoke in the restroom, which sets off the alarm.
  The Result: They end up having to smoke on top of the train, which ends up going 160 mph because Anastasia's ass hits the switch that increases its speed. The Spencers end up having to take an ambulance to Montreal (because Percy burned himself because he was smoking while covered in gasoline after the train crashed into the gas station).
• In "Jacked In", Kevin is chosen by Snakepit Multimedia to test out their new virtual reality game. The game requires a quarter to play.
  You'd Expect: Percy would use a regular quarter to pay.
  Instead: He uses a bottlecap tied to string. The machine gets damaged, which leaves Kevin trapped inside the game. Percy is sent inside the game to save him.
  You'd Then Expect: That after Percy is sent into the game, they would be able to get them out.
  Instead: They leave them in there for a few days, being more concerned about their image. Ultimately, they have Shawna turn off the machine, which damages Percy and Kevin enough that they are sent to the hospital.
• In "Demolition Derby", Percy ends up driving into a demolition derby. The plot kicks off when he gets so drunk at the Camel Toe Inn that he passes out. Allen suggests that they take him home and put him to bed.
  You'd Expect: Kevin to go along with this idea.
  Instead: He figures it would be more fun to steal Percy's pants and leave him lying in a ditch beside the highway. He manages to get Percy to the ditch, but not long enough before he wakes up.
  • Kevin and Percy are stuck on the road. Kevin doesn't feel like driving, and Percy is too drunk to drive.
    You'd Expect: They would call Anastasia for help, or find a taxi.
    Instead: "Percy B. Spencer is never too drunk to drive!"
  • Percy sees a place that he thinks is a garage. The place clearly reads "ARENA" on it. Kevin tells Percy that it doesn't look too much like a garage.
    You'd Expect: Percy to listen to Kevin.
    Instead: "Like you'd know. I bet you never even seen a garage. I have, so that makes me better than you, so go to hell!"
  • Anastasia is by herself in the house. The phone rings.
    You'd Expect: Anastasia to pick up the phone.
    Instead: She repeatedly calls for Kevin and Percy to answer it.
    You'd Then Expect: Anastasia would come to the conclusion that Kevin and Percy aren't home.
    Instead: This thought never comes to her.
    The Result: She become increasingly insane, and ends up trashing the entire house with a chainsaw.

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