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Saving this:

[font=times new roman]i feel like such a traitor here.

i feel like i'm doing something wrong.

no, i [i]am[/i] doing something wrong.

i'm sorry for the fact that i've been a nasty, whiny biatch. i'm sorry for the rules i've broken and for the ones i'm breaking now, coming back here. i'm sorry for being so stupid, so f**king stupid, that i don't realize i'm breaking them until it's too late. i'm sorry for not having any skill, for being a headache, for being a blight on the site. i'm sorry for writing [url=http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CreatorsPet]terrible characters[/url] and trying to get them to win all the time...and i guess the people who like the characters should apologize too, for getting my hopes up, but i don't want to hurt those people. i don't want to hurt anybody. but i do, because i'm a freaking retarded little idiot who thinks she and her cast of kitty sues are 'omg su awsummmmmm!!11!!!!!!!11111!1!!!!@%%45311!' and freaks out when people try to point her in the direction of the truth.

or is it him? do i even know my gender any more? do i even give a flying f**k any more?

screw this.

i hate myself and i love you. i've been dead inside for several months, but i don't think any of you have noticed. and i want to say sorry for being f**ked up. sorry for everything.

i'm at my grandma's winery right now, and that's the only place i can access wcarpg. because i am an idiot, i logged into pretty much every computer i have access to already, but this computer doesn't save cookies, so it's my only hope. even though it uses ie...god i hate ie.

anyway. i want to say i'm sorry.

and i'm sorry for accessing the site as a banned user, too.

but this site is my only reason to live.

i understand if you don't post this. i don't think you will. i would say that i wouldn't if i were in your position, but i think i would. anyway, i can't tel you how sorry i am for everything, even though i didn't realize i was doing anything wrong...because i'm an idiot and a total f**kup, and i don't deserve what you give me, even if you sometimes seem hypocritical and the like.

i love you and i hate myself.

i love you, wynn. <3[/font]