General Ross has always been unhealthily obsessed with the Hulk, to the point of some wondering if he'd wanted to be the big green guy. So, what if he was?
So, A.I.M would turn him into a red version of the Hulk and he'd go on a spree of beating up other heavy hitters, before having them give him a taste of his own medicine, after which... wait, really? Again? Starting over:
The Watcher introduces the story by explaining Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle: The mere fact of observation changing the thing observed. Usually, it's an atomic level thing, but the Watcher notes that the observation of readers has changed the story of how Bruce Banner became the Hulk, showing us a universe where General Ross did.
In this alternate universe, General Ross attended the gamma bomb test with Betty. Bruce is unsure about all the reckless nuke testing that America's been up to, but Ross, General Ripper that he is, is impatient to get the explosions happening, overruling Banner by invoking how Neville Chamberlain's policy of appeasement went horribly wrong, and misquotes Teddy Roosevelt as saying "walk softly and carry a big stick." Either way, the test's on.
Of course, things go wrong. Rick Jones has snuck into the testing site on a horribly ill-advised dare, and General Ross decides to be the one to go fetch him. While he's doing that, Dr. Igor Drenkov decides that now, in a remote base deep in enemy territory, is a great time to make it obvious that he's a spy. He sets the bomb to go off while Rick and Ross are still outside, and knocks out the other scientists with sleeping gas so he can look for Banner's notes. Maybe not the best idea, but with what happens next the inevitable international incident is the least of anyone's worries.
Ross is irradiated and turns into a misshapen monstrosity, though unlike Banner and his canon self, he retains his skin color. On the bright side, he's more coherent a Hulk than Banner, because Ross lacks the mental issues that caused Banner's split forms and personalities. On the dark side, he accidentally crushes Rick Jones when he loses his balance, he can't properly communicate with his daughter (the Watcher compares it to a stroke victim being unable to properly command their body), and he freaks out and runs away upon seeing himself in a mirror.
Hulk Ross causes a lot of chaos, kills Dr. Drenkov, destroys a lot of military hardware, and kills many innocent people in his freakout. He then has a Heroic BSoD when he realizes that the casualty list includes his daughter Betty. He is then approached by Bruce Banner, who after a short conversation shoots General Ross in the head and walks away, correcting Ross that Roosevelt said speak softly and carry a big stick.
What If... General Ross had Become the Troper?
- Artistic License – History: In-Universe, Ross shows a very shallow understanding of pre-World War 2 politics and misquotes Teddy Roosevelt. Banner uses the correct quote after killing Ross.
- Beware the Nice Ones: As Banner states, the quote is speak softly, and carry a big stick. He proves this by being the one to execute Ross after his rampage.
- Death by Adaptation: Rick Jones, both Thaddeus and Betty Ross, and Dr. Drenkov all bite it.
- General Ripper: General Ross is all too eager to flex America's nuclear muscles.
- Gunboat Diplomacy: Theodore Roosevelt's famous quote on the topic is discussed, with Ross misquoting it as "walk softly", and Banner correcting him in the end.
