The team arrives in ancient China, right outside of Confucius' book shop. Confucius is excited to see them all and asks if they want to buy a book. He is upset when Otto says they are just browsing and says that he writes about wisdom, but nobody ever wants to buy his books.
Larry tries to lift a large book, but it falls, cracking the ground. To prevent Larry from leaving, Confucius says he can read the book before they buy it. He reads the entire book but discovers that the team has fallen asleep by the time he finishes. When they all wake up, Confucius makes a simplified moral of the story for them, and Larry says they will come back later.
Otto and Larry start discussing what to do to get Confucius to shorten his books while Tuddrussel contemplates the moral of Confucius' story. Tuddrussel decides that Confucius was insulting him by means of his moral, and insists that he can take care of Confucius himself. Otto and Larry head off to get egg rolls. Off screen, we can hear Tuddrussel confront Confucius and beat him up.
Later, Tuddrussel meets up with Otto and Larry. He tells them that he finished their mission, but Larry notices Confucius in his shop with a sign saying the books are doubled in size. Angry, Tuddrussel says that Confucius didn't understand the lesson the first time, and goes to beat him up again. Otto tries to stop him, but ends up going with Larry to buy fireworks.
When Otto and Larry have returned, they see that Confucius' sign says he has written more words than ever in his books. Otto goes to talk to Confucius, but when he does, the old man is so beaten up and paranoid that he jumps and hides. Otto asks Confucius to shorten his books into little phrases, and Confucius accepts, now too terrified to displease Otto and his friends.
Later, a line of people is seen leading to Confucius' shop. Confucius' sayings have become very popular, and are written on various household items. Confucius thanks Time Squad for their advice and their "horrible bully," and Tuddrussel gives him a final threat before leaving.
Tropes
- Doorstopper: Confucius' books are so monstrously huge nobody wants to read them.
- Ignored Epiphany: Tuddrussell is shown actually thinking about Confucius' "He who knows nothing, doubts nothing" and realizes he's starting to doubt himself, then "realizes" something about how if that means him, then "That guy just insulted me!! and shortly goes off to kick the philosopher's butt.
- Nap-Inducing Speak: Confucius reads the entirety of one of his books and never realizes it bores the Time Squad into sleeping through it.
- No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: Tuddrussell beats the tar out of Confucius. Twice.
- Torture First, Ask Questions Later: Tuddrussell beats up Confucius while forgetting to explain what he was doing wrong.
- Larry: Oh, you beat [Confucius] like a microwave and you didn't tell him why? (points angrily at Tuddrussell) You're a lunatic!
