History Recap / TheNostalgiaCriticS8E8

** The CrapsaccharineWorld of San Angeles is compared to Website/{{Tumblr}} social justice blogs (or was at least run by either Creator/{{MSNBC}} or Tea Partiers), and underground Los Angeles in turn to Website/FourChan.

* BaitAndSwitch: In order to demonstrate that "dick flicks" can have a more meaningful message than [[RatedMForManly the concept]] [[TestosteronePoisoning would make you think]], Devil Boner exposes [[Franchise/{{Robocop}} a man's battle for his humanity]], [[Film/TotalRecall1990 a man's struggle to define what is reality]] and this film, which talks about PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad and how it is bad for society.

* {{Mondegreen}}: The Critic points out that Stallone yelling "PHOENIX!" really sounds like "PENIS!"

* BrickJoke: The Critic asks Malcolm and Tamara to research the purpose of the seashells, he asks their result at the end of the review.

** He also brings up the many ways Huxley could have helped Spartan in his final battle against Phoenix had the former not zapped her unconscious beforehand (or as The Critic prefers to call it, "a little game called 'What Huxley ''Could'' Have Done While Stallone ''Gets His Ass Kicked''!'")

* WildMassGuessing: InUniverse, Tamara and Malcolm's theories about the three seashells.

* MyGodYouAreSerious: Malcolm's reaction to being ordered to research the meaning of the three seashells.

* CallBack

** He also brings up the many ways Huxley could have helped Spartan in his final battle against Phoenix had the former not zapped her unconscious beforehand (or as The Critic prefers to call it, "a little game called 'What Huxley ''Could'' Have Done While Stallone ''Gets His Ass Kicked''!")

* LameComeback: The Critic considers Spartan saying "Not" to one of Phoenix's one-liners this and that Huxley could have said something better if she came along.

* RatedMForManly: The Critic's view on action movies from TheEighties and TheNineties.
* RiddleForTheAges: How are seashells used in lieu of toilet paper? Then, later in the film, it's revealed that Taco Bell won the franchise wars, making them the only fast food chain in existence, a notion so outlandish that it makes Critic dismiss the seashell riddle.

* ThatCameOutWrong: After describing the movie's future version of sex as "Virtual Boy sex", the Critic says "That came out much worse than I intended...as did ''that''."

* RightHandCat: The Critic uses his [[WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender Appa]] plushie as one while ordering Malcolm and Tamara to search for the meaning of the three seashells.

--->'''Critic!Warden:''' You ''will'' steal me an [[WillyWonkaAndTheChocolateFactory Ever-Lasting Gob-Stopper]]...

** While describing the many male actors ([[AndZoidberg and]] Creator/SigourneyWeaver) who made a lot of RatedMForManly films, the Critic counts out Creator/StevenSeagal.

** When the Critic sees the scene where a thug played by JesseVentura kills Cocteau, the Critic claims this was how he got his ''other'' political job.

** While describing the many male actors who made a lot of RatedMForManly films, the Critic counts out Creator/StevenSeagal.

** He also brings up the many ways Huxley could have helped Spartan in his final battle against Phoenix had the former not zapped her unconscious beforehand.

** The Critic's repeated {{Take That}}s to Taco Bell, starting with pointing out that it had a [[ShortRunInPeru bad run in Mexico]] and escalating from there (even pointing out that the rat-burgers on the underground ''have got'' to be better than the futuristic tacos).

* TakeThat: The Critic makes uncanny comparison between the CrapsaccharineWorld future to Website/{{Tumblr}} social justice blogs.... or run by MSNBC and Tea Partiers.
** On that same vein, comparing the L.A. underworld to Website/{{4Chan}}.
** He also takes a lot of shots at Taco Bell.
** And Creator/StevenSeagal.
** Going as far as to question why Rob Schneider's appearance on the film is not a punishable crime by San Angeles law.
--->'''The Critic''' (on the subject of movies from TheNineties): Creator/MichaelBay ''wishes'' he could be as fucked up as we were!
--->'''The Critic''' (on the subject of the borderline post-apocalyptic 1996 Los Angeles that appears on the film's preface): Yup! I remember when 1996 looked like that! California was on fire, [[WretchedHive crime was everywhere]], [[DuelingStarsMovie celebrities were fighting each other]] [[FashionVictimVillain while dressed like jackasses]]...[[BaitAndSwitch actually, what am I talking about]]? [[RealLife This]] '''was''' L.A. in 1996!
---> '''The Critic''' (on the scene where San Angeles Police confronts Simon for the first time and they say their orders very nervously): ''[[SarcasmMode Yeah]]'', this is what every minority ''wishes'' [[PoliceBrutality the L.A.P.D.]] was like!
** Comparing the in-film-universe "big one" of 2010 (which killed Spartan's wife) with ''Film/TheLastAirbender'' (that is, a ''huge'' disaster).
---> '''The Critic''' (on noticing that a thug played by JesseVentura is the one who shot Cochteau): Yeeeaaaahhh, I'm pretty sure that's how he got his ''other'' political job, too.

** [[Recap/TheNostalgiaCriticS7E16 Devil Boner]] returns to help preface the Critic's essay on the [[RatedMForManly overly masculine nature]] of 90s films.

** On pointing out how [[NoOneCouldSurviveThat Spartan managed to survive the explosion of Phoenix's stronghold at the beginning of the movie offscreen]], he sarcastically suggests that [[Recap/TheNostalgiaCriticS4E16 there was probably a Coke machine]] [[Film/SimonSez in there someplace]].

---> '''(The Critic, on Simon Phoenix)''': [Wesley] Snipes is a million flavors of fun in this movie too! [[XMeetsY Just imagine]] Ronald [=McDonald=] and Film/{{Beetlejuice}} sponsored a human Happy Meal toy.
** Slipping in [[Film/TheEmpireStrikesBack Leia's "I love you" scene]] into Spartan's freezing scene.
** Thinking that San Angeles is so devoid of crime because Film/ThePurge was enabled ("Hey, don't question it! [[RunningGag It just works]]!").
---> (spliced on the warden's speech to Simon Phoenix on his Cryo-Prison parole hearing): You ''will'' steal me an [[WillyWonkaAndTheChocolateFactory Ever-Lasting Gob-Stopper]]...
** Calling Phoenix's outfit after escaping Cryo-Prison a disguise of "Dennis Rodman [[DennisTheMenace The Menace]]".
** The Critic sending off Malcolm and Tamara to do his bidding with "[[Film/TheHungerGames may the odds ever be in your favor]]" (even in the same accent as Effie!).

-->'''Cocteau''': Isn't there a thought repeating in that barbaric brain of yours? The name "Friendly"? Edgar Friendly? Don't you have someone to kill?
-->'''The Critic''': [[VideoGame/BioShock But he didn't say, 'would you kindly'?]]
-->'''The Critic''' (on pointing out Phoenix's severe case of the ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy): ''Seriously''? Did you [Phoenix] just set your gun to hit ''everything'' '''but''' Stallone? '''MisterMagoo''' could aim better than you!

* AchievementsInIgnorance: ''Somehow'', Malcolm's theory about what the three seashells are for (processing them into becoming toilet paper) ''achieves world peace''... yeah, he's flabbergasted by ''that'' too.
* BrickJoke: The Critic asks Malcolm and Tamara to research what the hell the three seashells are used for, and as promised, he asks their result at the end of the review.
* CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon: The Critic threatens to place Malcolm and Tamara in a ''spinal cord removal machine'' if they fail their assignment.
* FridgeLogic: {{Invoked}}
** NC has this when seeing that if they can program Phoenix to have all sorts of martial arts and hacking skills, why isn't it being used for the police?
** Also pointing out that the S.A.P.D. car's security systems disregard the car being shot repeatedly, bumping into things at high speed and ''having a door ripped off'' long before activating the foam countermeasure that allows Spartan to survive the crash into the S.A.P.D. H.Q's fountain.
** On pointing out how much helpful Huxley could have been supporting Spartan on the final fight against Phoenix, or as The Critic calls it, "a little game called 'What Huxley ''Could'' Have Done While Stallone ''Gets His Ass Kicked''!".

* LameComeback: NC considers Spartan saying "Not" to one of Phoenix's one-liners this and that Huxley could have said something better if she came along.

* MyGodYouAreSerious: Malcolm's reaction to being given the assignment. So he and Tamara run to accomplish it.

* RightHandCat: The Critic uses his [[WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender Appa]] plushie for this when he asks Malcolm and Tamara to search into the three seashells.

** The above-mentioned "[[SayMyName PHOENIIIIIIXXXX!!!]]" / "[[ThatCameOutWrong PEEEEEEENNNIIIIIISSSSS!!!]]" joke (and the Critic constantly yelling out "PHOENIIIIXXXX!!" a la Stallone).
** The return of [[Recap/TheNostalgiaCriticS7E16 Devil Boner]] to help preface the review/talk about the Critic's belief about movies from TheNineties being RatedMForManly.
** The critic's repeated [[TakeThat Take Thats]] to Taco Bell (starting with pointing out that it had a [[ShortRunInPeru bad run selling in Mexico]] and escalating from there (even pointing out that the rat-burgers on the underground ''have got'' to be better than the futuristic tacos).
** On pointing out that [[NooneCouldSurviveThat we don't see how Spartan survives the explosion of Phoenix's stronghold at the beginning of the movie]], he sarcastically guesses [[Recap/TheNostalgiaCriticS4E16 that there was probably a Coke machine in there someplace]].
** [[Recap/TheNostalgiaCriticS2E40 Bringing back the]] "[[MemeticMutation I WAS FROZEN TODAY!!!]]" snip from ''Film/SuburbanCommando'' for Spartan's freezing scene.

* FridgeLogic: NC has this when seeing that if they can program Phoenix to have all sorts of martial arts and hacking skills, why isn't it being used for the police?

** On that same vein, comparing the L.A. underworld to 4Chan.

** And StevenSeagal.

* TheyWastedAPerfectlyGoodPlot: The idea of the "[[CorporateWarfare franchise wars]]" (of which Taco Bell was the last fast-food company standing) is deemed as an interesting prequel idea by The Critic (although he imagines [[CoolVsAwesome Burger King using Spartan Cows and KFC using mutated octopus-chickens]]).

*** On that same vein, comparing the L.A. underworld to 4Chan.
*** He also takes a lot of shots at Taco Bell.
*** And StevenSeagal.
*** Going as far as to question why Rob Schneider's appearance on the film is not a punishable crime by San Angeles law.

*** Comparing the in-film-universe "big one" of 2010 (which killed Spartan's wife) with ''Film/TheLastAirbender'' (that is, a ''huge'' disaster).

** The return of Devil Boner to preface the review/talk about the Critic's belief about movies from TheNineties being RatedMForManly.

** Wondering if the advertisement jingle radio station broadcasts the "don't you put it in your mouth" ad from his "Commercials" specials.

** Bringing back the "I WAS FROZEN TODAY!!!" snip from ''Film/SuburbanCommando'' for Spartan's freezing scene.

** On pointing out that [[NooneCouldSurviveThat we don't see how Spartan survives the explosion of Phoenix's stronghold at the beginning of the movie]], he sarcastically guesses that there was probably a Coke machine in there someplace.

---> (The Critic, on Simon Phoenix): [Wesley] Snipes is a million flavors of fun in this movie too! [[XMeetsY Just imagine]] Ronald [=McDonald=] and Film/{{Beetlejuice}} sponsored a human Happy Meal toy.

-->'''TheCritic''' (on pointing out Phoenix's severe case of the ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy): ''Seriously''? Did you [Phoenix] just set your gun to hit ''everything'' '''but''' Stallone? '''MisterMagoo''' could aim better than you!