Quotes: Younger and Hipper
Ask anyone under the age of 20 if they have heard of me and they will go, ‘No, that guy looks like my dad.’ It doesn’t compute to the generation that most of Hollywood cares about. If your last name’s not Hemsworth
or you are not in One Direction
or you don’t wear a cape and tights for a living, you literally have a hard time making an impression.
[Colin] Farrell here seems less like the leader of a gang than the lead singer in a boy band, and indeed he and the boys spend time arguing about their billing. Should it be the James Gang? The James-Younger Gang? The Younger-James Gang? (Naw, that sounds like there’s an Older James Gang)...When did cowboys become teen pop idols?
So, do you like Darth Vader? Oswalt:
Do I like
Darth Vader? Oh god I LOVE
Darth Vader! Lucas:
Well, in the first movie
you get to see him as a little kid. Oswalt: (downcast)
Yeah, well...I kind of like the helmet and the cape and the sword, you know? Lucas:
Well, don't worry about that, because guess who's in the second movie?
Boba Fett! Oswalt:
Holy shit! Boba Fett?! That's even better than Darth! Lucas:
Yeah, and in the second movie, you get to see him as a little kid. Oswalt: (getting irritable)
Oh. Well, I kind of just like where he's a bounty hunter and he's shooting people and stuff. Lucas:
You seem sad. Oswalt:
Yes, I don't give a fuck about any of that stuff. That sounds... horrible. I would never go see that. Lucas:
Would you like some ice cream? Oswalt:
Heh! Why, yes, I would l like some ice cream. That would be very nice! Lucas:
Well here's a big sack of rock salt! Oswalt: What?!
You said I'd be getting ice cream! Lucas:
Well, when you add the cream and sugar and ice and flavoring, and do a little— Oswalt: I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT
WHERE THE STUFF I LOVE COMES FROM! I JUST LOVE
THE STUFF I LOVE
! Hey, do you love Angelina Jolie
, does she give you a big boner? Well then here's JON VOIGHT'S BALL-SACK!!
Well, speaking of things they'd update, I didn't this realize until recently: the first Ghostbusters
? Sigourney Weaver
was, like, 36 when they made that movie. And the equivalent of her character, if they made this now... No studio would cast a 36-year-old actress. It'd be someone late twenties, maybe
30 at the most. Mike:
How old is Bill Murray
here, 48? Jay: (laughs)
I know Harold Ramis was 40 when he made this movie. And that's the same thing, yeah: these guys are all too old! You can't have them as the lead in your movie! Mike:
But it's believable. 'Cuz they're older dudes who work in a university as frauds. Rich:
The fact that they're schlubs is just what makes it work.
Slimer’s already got a sloppy b-hole and now it’s going to get even sloppier, because Sony is planning to pass that trick around to anybody and everybody for a dollar.
The all-lady Ghostbusters
movie is already in the works, and today Sony announced that they’re planning an all-bro Ghostbusters
starring Channing Tatum
. I know, we already had an all-dude Ghostbusters
, it was called Ghostbusters
...So basically, it’s probably going to be like 22 Jump Street
but with ghosts. Expect a lot of jokes about shitting in their jumpsuits and expect to see Jonah Hill
(who will obviously be in this) get a hand job from a lady ghost while drinking an Ecto Cooler energy drink.
, "Sony is Planning to Whore the Hell Out of Ghostbusters
Supposedly, Antonio Banderas
was in the running for the Phantom, but (Andrew Lloyd) Webber
decided he wanted somebody who was younger and sexier. Banderas, for the record, is about 10 years older than (Gerard) Butler
but has more range to him as an actor (possibly because he’s had more experience). He’s also got sex appeal out the wazoo, but more due to natural charisma than rugged good looks. In other words, he could have done a Phantom who had some sex appeal while also playing somebody who is physically ugly. Also, no offense to Mr. Butler, but Banderas has it all over him when it comes to singing the title song.
I remember back when she started out, thinking she was just a teenage girl writing about teenage girl things but, with time, she would mature into a very good songwriter. I thought she'd move on from writing about teen romance and boys named "Drew" to...I dunno, paying taxes? Adult stuff!
But the exact opposite
happened: She's only gotten more
vapid and edgeless, and considering she started out in mainstream country music, that's a hell of a low point to reach. And instead of "moving on" to a more mature understanding of the world, she's talking about...haterz.
was a favourite game of mine back in retro times, with its rotoscoped animation, mold-breaking action-step-platformer gameplay and adorably bad story
. But when it's remade in full 3D so the rotoscoped animation becomes just another 3D model wandering around non-committedly trying to decide whether or not they're going to acknowledge the physics engine, I despair. Even more so when they turn a fairly neutral but basically relateable
main character into the world's biggest quipping douchebag until the story shifts from adorably bad to just plain bad
Not even the great voice work of Neil Patrick Harris
as Peter Parker/Spider-man could save this train wreck of a series that aired on MTV
in 2003... Any fans of Aunt May out there? Well if so, too bad. MTV execs decided that viewers would tune out if they saw an old lady on screen. Maybe this is the reason that Aunt May is so MILFy
in The Spectacular Spider-Man
Remember that scene in the Stargate SG-1
episode 200 (one of my favourites of that series – ‘make it spin!’) where the producer touts the idea of replacing all of the adults in the series with kids and we see an excruciatingly funny sequence of hot kids playing the roles of Mitchell, Vala, etc…? I thought we had dropped into that universe during the climax when Icheb turns on the bully boy Borg
and exclaims (as much as this actor can emote
, anyway) ‘what you say? I thought we were a Collective!’ What has happened to the Trek
universe? This is so abysmally childish I can only think that the monkeys are tapping away at the keyboards again...All you would need are establishing shots of the Borg Cube with hip pop music (the same way they establish schools in shows like Buffy
) to add the finishing touches to this painful science fiction version of 90210, Borg style.
If you're familiar with the formula, a dying show usually gets sassy young characters when they desperately want to reel in more of that sweet kiddie demographic
at the expense of characters you actually care about, usually warranting undeserved importance
and annoying the shit out of you.
I understand this show is aimed at the younger demographic that watches the Marvel movies, which compelled them to cast a bunch of cute, twenty-something actors. But if that’s the case, they should have just called the show SHIELD Academy
. Or Rookies of SHIELD
. They could have started the show off with Agent Coulson, still traumatized from being brought back from the dead, wanting to retire from active duty and high-pressure situations. Instead of being out in the field, he decides to mentor some fresh-faced recruits right out of the academy. And then when the HYDRA shit hits the fan, Coulson comes to rely on these borderline-incompetent novices
because he’s got no one else to trust.
Frankly, the show wouldn’t have been that much different with a premise like that, but at least it would have been consistent. What we got instead was a show constantly playing up its main characters’ ineptitude and unprofessionalism
for laughs while still trying to convince us they were the best and brightest that the agency had to offer
, and worthy of serving under a guy who reports directly to the head honcho of SHIELD. And I, for one, never quite bought it.