Quotes / The Merch

"Enough with the blatant sucking up... let's get to the blatant shilling!"

— Triple H, WWE Friday Night Smackdown!

Come see us grovel in the dirt
Then buy a souvenir and don it
Rich folks pay twenty bucks a shirt
That has a starving pauper on it

— Forbidden Broadway, "I Dreamed A Show"

"You should be embarrassed. I'm embarrassed for you. That's the sort of thing you wear because you lost a bet. There's no PRIDE in rocking an ugly piece of headgear that screams I'M FAT BECAUSE I EAT TOO MANY DAIRY PRODUCTS. In addition to hoping Aaron Rodgers gets hurt, I hope a race of giant alien mice descend upon Wisconsin. And then, I hope those alien mice overlords see your cheeseheads and go the fuck to town on you...Both the Steelers and Packers have that dreaded BEST FANS IN FOOTBALL vibe to them, giving themselves extra brownie points for bandwagoning onto a good team and rocking every last piece of tasteless merch they can get their fat paws on. I've seen you in bars, Packer fans. You're just as bad as the rest of them."

—Drew Magary, "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Green Bay Packers"

Daisy-head burgers and Daisy-head drinks,
Daisy-head stockings, and Daisy-head sinks,
Daisy head buttons and Daisy head bows,
Mayzie was famous,
The star of her shows.

—Daisy Head Mayzie by Dr. Seuss

"This book was created in cooperation with the Children's Television Workshop, producers of "Sesame Street." Children do not have to watch the television show to benefit from this book. Workshop revenues from this book will be used to help support CTW educational projects."

—Standard disclaimer from many Sesame Street books

"Guns, tanks, bombs—they're like toys against them!" cried a frustrated general.
"They are toys, sir. It's called merchandising."

— Plan 7 of 9 from Outer Space

Star: Wait a minute, you have merchandise?
Marco: Yeah, I get a $650 royalty check every month.

— Star vs. the Forces of Evil

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