open/close all folders
The Smeet
Chapter 1
- Skoodge: Have you never smelt a smeet's pop?! It's nauseating stench will create a trauma we will never overcome in our worst nightmares!"
- Red: SOMEBODY CUT IF OTT!Comms Officer: T-THERE SEEMS TO BE A PROBLEM WITH THAT, MY TALLEST!Red: WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'A PROBLEM'?!Comms Officer: THE BUTTON ISN'T WORKING!Zim: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, DIB-WORM!Dib: WHAT?!Purple: presses button to end the call, but it doesn't work WHAT IN IRK IS WRONG WITH THIS BUTTON?!Red: WHERE'S THE REMOTE?! WHOEVER CAN FIND IT BEFORE ILK WAKES UP WILL GET A FREE DONUT!Purple: WHAT?!Zim: finally notices the call M-My Tallest!Red: ABOUT TIME! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!Zim: N-nothing to worry about, My Tallest! Everything's under control! throws hatchet awayDib: NOO! My hair!Purple: keeps pressing button to no avail ARGH, STUPID BUTTON!Red: ZIM, END THE TRANSMISSION NOW!Zim: WHAT?! WOULD YOU MIND SPEAKING A LITTLE LOUDER, MY TALLEST?!Red: END THE TRANSMISSION!Zim: MEND MY ADMISSION?!Dib:YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, ZIM! tackles Zim.Red: EVERYBODY QUIET!
- Purple: I'm feeling something humid...Red: Don't tell me that when we're so close!Purple: Not that type of humidity, I think I fell on top of your drink!
- Purple: NOT THIS AGAIN!
The Tallest as they watch Zim bring eaten by a T-Rex during a transmission.
- Red: Should we end it?Purple: Just a bit longer, maybe he'll get eaten. Somebody record this! We might win an Irktube playbutton with this one!
- Ilk: Ziiimmm! (the Tallest stop laughing and look down at her in shock. Ilk points at the screen and claps her hands.)) Ziiiimmm!
The Tallest arrive at Sobr and Purple steps on a puddle.
- Purple: EW! Why couldn't the Sobrekt live in a beach?!Red: Lower your voice! If the Sobrekt find us sneaking around here without having asked for their permission, it will be our necks! Literally!
- Sobrekt #3: That's exactly what the last one said. That's what the record says, right?Sobrekt #2: (checks on a datapad) Yeah, here it is. I'm not looking for trouble, I was just here on a… tourist visit. Really, that was so unoriginal it gave his intentions away.
Red notices everyone is watching Dumbo.
- Skoodge: (crying) POOR DUMBO!Red: Who on Irk is Dumbo?! (takes a peek at the movie) What's the big deal?Tenn: His mom got locked just for defending him! (wipes her eyes)Larb: Damn you, humans!Purple: We should put THEM in cages to see if they like it.Everyone agrees with him.Red: Sweet Irk, we do that to inferior species on an almost daily basis, so what's the big deal with one earth-beast being locked up in a cage because of her kid?
''Smeetie mine don't you crySmeetie mine dry your eyesRest your head close to my squeedly-spoochNever to part, smeetie of mine…
Little one, when you play,Pay no heed what they sayLet your eyes sparkle and shineNever a tear, smeetie of mine
From your antennae down to your toes,You're not much, Irk knowsBut you're so precious to meSweet as can be, smeetie of mine…
Chapter 7
- Ilk: Why are you so thin if you're always eating donuts, uncle Pur?Purple: It's a secret.
- Purple: Even better, all the snacks are for free!Ilk: Really?Purple: For me and your daddy, they are. But just to be sure, you can tell them to add them to Bob's bill.Ilk: But doesn't he earn only two monies every two years?Purple: That's what he gets for being so short.
- Purple: OUT OF MY WAY! DON'T WORRY, ILK! UNCLE PURPLE IS COMING TO THE RESCUE!Navigator #1: What is Tallest Purple doing?Navigator #2: He probably lost one of his doughnuts. Check mate. You owe me ten monies.
Chapter 8
Bob is ordered to deal with a space roach.
- Bob: Couldn't we just leave it there, My Tallest?Purple: And let it reproduce? Do you know how long it takes for them to make babies?! Besides, it'll go after my doughnuts!Bob: Then wouldn't it be easier to squash it?Purple: Oh, right, and spread all of its insides on top of the snacks? Why don't you poison my drink now what we're on it? Just get it over with!
A random table drone is eaten by a tiger sent by Zim.
- Red: Who did he eat?Random Irken: A service drone, my Tallest!Red: Someone send his widow a donut!
- Red: Bravo. Now you've really done it, Pur. You killed Finny.
- Red: You know, you should write a book: a hundred ways to kill your niece's fish.
Zim takes Ilk to school in a baby carrier.
- Ilk: Huh, Zim?Zim: What is it you need, Ilk-smeet? Do you require another diaper change or is your tummy aching?Ilk: It's not that…Zim: Never fear, once we get home I will be completely available for you!Ilk: Riight… And why did you bring me along?Zim: What a better way to learn how to become an Invader than watching the almighty Zim in action!Ilk: I sort of understand that, but I mean why am I in a smeet carrier?Zim: It's for your own protection, Ilk-smeet!
- Zim: You'll never know, Dib-stink! You shall never find the identity of Ilk-smeet, the almighty daughter of my Almighty Tallest Red!Ilk: facepalms.Dib: You just told me.Zim: LIES!
- Red: ZIM, I SWEAR, IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO ILK-! notices it's Ilk on the other side ILK! AREYOUOKAY?! IVEBEENWORRIEDSICK! ITHOUGHTTHOSEDAMNREBELSHADCAPTUREDYOU! HOWONIRKDIDYOUENDUPONEARTH?! AREYOUHURT?! DIDZIMHURTYOU?!Purple: Red, calm down, she can't understand anything like that! Besides, you're spitting over the donuts!
Chapter 12
Red catches Purple and some other people eavesdropping on him and Ilk.
- Purple: Hey, Red! So, how did it go?Red: Didn't you hear through the door?
The Tallest ask Captain his name.
- Red: What's your name, captain?Captain: Captain.Red: I asked for your name, not your rank. The latter is pretty obvious.Captain: I just told you.Purple: You told us your rank, he asked for your name.Captain: It's Captain!Purple: Again, we want your name, not your rank!Captain: Captain is my name, my name is Captain. Did it get through your empty heads now or should I explain it in terms you can understand?
Lost
Chapter 3
Purple's reaction to learning Red put a tracker on Ilk.
- Purple: You put a tracker on Ilk? That's a bit exxagerate, don't you think?Red: I did it because I love her! And as you can see, thanks to this we'll know where the Sobrekt are taking her as soon as their ship leaves hyper-space!Purple: But really? A tracker?
- Foxtrot: Masouri, what's happening?!Masouri: I don't know, everything just shut down! Oh, shit...!Captain:Masouri, what's going on?!Masouri: I don't know! Everything's shut down and we're being attracted by the gravitational field of that planet!Captain: Well, do something to fix it!Masouri: The problem is we don't have anything to fix it with, Captain! Whatever shut us down also affected the energy systems!Foxtrot: And the computer!Echo: In other words, we're going to have a very rough landing!Blue: Masouri-!Masouri: I swear, if I hear 'what's going on' one more time I'll throw myself out of the airlock!
Masouri crying over the Ibris's state and Echo calling him out on it.
- Masouri: Oh, my beauty…! My beautiful ship!Echo: Knock it off, Masouri, it's just a ship.Masouri: Just a ship? How can you even say that?! I've had this ship since I enrolled at the Pilot Academy!Echo: Big deal, you can get another one.Masouri: Say that again, I dare you!
- Bob: Hey, Larb, who's flying the ship?Larb: Duh! I am! realizes he's left the pilot seat and the ship is shutting downPurple: Skoodge, send the emergency beacon now!Skoodge: Y-Yes, My Tallest!Purple: The rest of you buckle up and save as many snacks as you can! Not in that order, the other way around!Purple screams as he clings to as many doughnut bags as possible.Tenn and Stink scream as the former forgets completely about pushing the latter off her lap.Bob and Skoodge scream as they embrace each other.Red and Larb scream as they try to steer the ship.Larb: OH, NO! WE'RE GOING TO CRASH AGAINST THE MOUNTAIN!Bob: Actually, it looks more like a bunch of birds!Larb: OH, NO! WE'RE GOING TO CRASH ON THE FOREST!
Chapter 6
After Fury destroys the Hothian ship's main console to deactivate the detention cells:
- Red: Destroying the main console? Wow, how smart indeed!
- Red:Oh, I'm wonderfully! My daughter just disobeyed me and my abdomen is killing me, but I'm fine!",
Chapter 10
Ilk tries to help fight the Mendigo, but is held back by Red.
- Red: Ilk, where do you think you're going?!Ilk: We have to help Zim!Red: Zim is gone, Ilk! And frankly, I'm glad he is!Lena: gasps How can you say that?! He might have been a walking disaster, but he still was a living Irken!Red: groans Okay, okay, I'll make a holiday in his honor. Happy?
- Blue: By the ancestors! Irken, are you okay?!Red: Idiot, aren't you seeing me?!Captain: What happened?Red: murmurs annoyed Another one...
- Lena: Red, listen, we're going to try something... unusual with your injuries. Is that okay?Red: murmurs deliriously.Captain: Doc, I don't think he's in the mental faculties for that.
