"Journal of Mitch, Galena 201
Holy shit."
Holy shit."
— Mitchewawa
"Then it begins... The beginning of the end. The last of the great champions of the Spawn Wars have fallen from the throne - it is now up to their successors, as brilliant as they may be, to pick up the torch, and continue onwards in the bold name of Spearbreakers! Undaunted by the devilry that the demons disseminate dwarfwards, the daring dissidents of danger dare not to die, daintily dodging darts, deliberately digging downwards desperately towards death's door, distracting death itself with double doses of delicate devices, daring not to dreamily doze, distraught by dementia's deeds!
This is Spearbreakers, which the dastardly devils shall not, from dawn to dusk, destroy."
This is Spearbreakers, which the dastardly devils shall not, from dawn to dusk, destroy."
— Talvieno
"And then the horror hits: This was just spring.
We are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fucked."
We are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fucked."
— Splint
"We're into autumn now, WE SURVIVED! (Granted, we survived because Godzilla and Mothra arrived at the same time and decided to fight each other, not because of our military prowess.)"
— Draignean
"I predict that, even if Storm were to deliberately sabotage every single industry in the fortress, absolutely nothing bad would come of it and another completely-unrelated problem would arise from a completely-unexpected and bizarre source. This is the fort that was delayed for a week to fine-tune the Spawn and founded on the edge of a Terrifying biome, yet went on to have its own hospital as its archnemesis. This is the fort where the primary means of fending off invaders is other, meaner invaders. This is Spearbreakers, where all goddamn bets are off."
— Mr Frog
"... Yes, I like how the canon went from:
Questionable, did Syrupleaf happen? Or was the narrator unreliable? Armok restarted everything?
to
Oh my god, timeskipping transmultidimensional future-drug-addict bioengineer (dj?) is double-triple-recrossing (?) Ubermensch evil(?) company masters who happen to be involved in a three way timewar with two evil (?) companies bent on controlling/destroying (?) the hideous dwarven monstrosities that are now swarming over the planet because the Ubermensch may or may not want them to be an army for him (?) and a possibly insane woodcutter is attempting to thwart the ruthless dj's convoluted plot with the help of a possible elvish outcast/spy/dwarven skulker/unreliable narrator/love interest to a drugged foriegn soldier who happens to have helped the bioengineer save the fortress from the terrorism of a lone (?) insane (?) dimensional traveller while in the background of all this, the timewar is progressing nicely, with armored vehicles hiding in the bushes only feet away from trained dwarven soldiers getting attacked by Holistic Spawn as the enemy of the timewar soldiers lay an ambush with high tech railguns and flails.''"
Questionable, did Syrupleaf happen? Or was the narrator unreliable? Armok restarted everything?
to
Oh my god, timeskipping transmultidimensional future-drug-addict bioengineer (dj?) is double-triple-recrossing (?) Ubermensch evil(?) company masters who happen to be involved in a three way timewar with two evil (?) companies bent on controlling/destroying (?) the hideous dwarven monstrosities that are now swarming over the planet because the Ubermensch may or may not want them to be an army for him (?) and a possibly insane woodcutter is attempting to thwart the ruthless dj's convoluted plot with the help of a possible elvish outcast/spy/dwarven skulker/unreliable narrator/love interest to a drugged foriegn soldier who happens to have helped the bioengineer save the fortress from the terrorism of a lone (?) insane (?) dimensional traveller while in the background of all this, the timewar is progressing nicely, with armored vehicles hiding in the bushes only feet away from trained dwarven soldiers getting attacked by Holistic Spawn as the enemy of the timewar soldiers lay an ambush with high tech railguns and flails.''"
— Hanslanda
"Oh god, everyone in the fort is heavily medicated and boozed up just to deal with backround noise. That's a bit hardcore."
— Hanslanda
"... The Spawn are tough as hell, but — unfortunately — 'tough as hell' is a finite value and thus not nearly enough to weather the zombies.
On the plus side, we now have an automated defense system that is literally mathematically-impossible for invaders to survive. Because Spearbreakers."
On the plus side, we now have an automated defense system that is literally mathematically-impossible for invaders to survive. Because Spearbreakers."
— Mr Frog
"But I thought... clones... buh..? I GIVE UP THIS PLACE MAKES NO SENSE WITH THE TIME TRAVEL OR MAYBE NO TIME TRAVEL AND THE CLONES AND THE CLONES AND THE TIME TRAVEL AND AND AND AAAAHAHAHAUUGH
Mr Frog has gone stark raving mad!"
Mr Frog has gone stark raving mad!"
— Mr Frog
"Wow, Spearbreakers is so ninja we ninja'd the internet itself."
— Hanslanda
"I think it's a manhood thing.
"If you can brave the blood plain, the Spawn and the dwarves of the place called Spearbreakers, then you truly are a Necromancer. Plus, you have to recover the books we lost there."
"If you can brave the blood plain, the Spawn and the dwarves of the place called Spearbreakers, then you truly are a Necromancer. Plus, you have to recover the books we lost there."
— Aseaheru
"... When the squad arrives, the seqivet disappear. You fear they haven't actually been vaporized, as you don't have a Colonel Fischer ..."
— Talvieno
"This is Spearbreakers, and anything underneath it is our property. These things are just renting the space, and they haven't paid their rent."
— Splint
"I was confused by the fact that the dwarves all seemed to be dumping bars onto the floor of the new bar stockpile instead of placing them in bins as I had expected.
I at first worried that the previous overseers had been too busy to produce bins, but I soon found the true reason:
Mugs. Hundreds and hundreds of mugs. Big mugs. Little mugs. Mugs with things like “#1 Dad” engraved on the side. Mugs that smell as though they have been recently used to prepare certain illicit substances. I cannot imagine any earthly reason to have so many mugs, but that hardly changes the fact that there are in fact hundreds of mugs in here, overflowing out of bins and littering the floors and piled to the ceiling around every crafts shop like little mug mountains. I am actually deeply, deeply disturbed by the sheer number of mugs in this fortress. My most basic assumptions about the nature of the dwarven psyche have been completely shattered by all of these innumerable mugs.
...Wine. I need more wine. That should fix it."
I at first worried that the previous overseers had been too busy to produce bins, but I soon found the true reason:
Mugs. Hundreds and hundreds of mugs. Big mugs. Little mugs. Mugs with things like “#1 Dad” engraved on the side. Mugs that smell as though they have been recently used to prepare certain illicit substances. I cannot imagine any earthly reason to have so many mugs, but that hardly changes the fact that there are in fact hundreds of mugs in here, overflowing out of bins and littering the floors and piled to the ceiling around every crafts shop like little mug mountains. I am actually deeply, deeply disturbed by the sheer number of mugs in this fortress. My most basic assumptions about the nature of the dwarven psyche have been completely shattered by all of these innumerable mugs.
...Wine. I need more wine. That should fix it."
— Mr. Frog
"WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU PEOPLE DONE TO THIS FORTRESS!? It looks like a scene out of the most pantshittingly violent slashers and war films ever devised! I mean for the love of god! There's hair trying to kill a dog!"
—Splint
