Quotes / Scary Science Words

Mother: "You've got a severe contusion near your gluteus maximus."

Son: "Is that serious?"

Mother: "Not really— it just means you have a bruise on yer bum!"

— Horrible Science, "Blood, Bones, and Body Bits"

"The doctor said I've got something—*itis*!"

— Ramona Quimby, "Ramona Forever"

"Electrophoretic activity? Is it serious?"

— Reginald "Reg" Barclay, Star Trek: The Next Generation, "Genesis"

I was in my science class, when I started screaming.
It was 'cause of a video the teacher was streaming.
I was about a lung disease. I hope they all get better,
But whoever named it gave it way too many letters!
I mean, really, who would name a disease "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis"?

— Songdrops, "The Long Word Song"

Mariella Lorraine: "I hope Helen recuperates."

Martha: "She shouldn't do that, she should get better!"

Mariella Lorraine: "That's what 'recuperates' means."

Martha: "Really? Because it sounds like something you'd do when you're sick. Like, 'Don't come in; I've just recuperated all over the rug!'"

— Martha Speaks, "Martha in Charge"

Sandy Cheeks: "But scientifically, [laughter is] caused by your epiglottis constricting your larynx, causing irregular air intake and respiratory upset."

SpongeBob SquarePants: "Sounds painful."

Sandy Cheeks: "Science makes everything sound painful, SpongeBob."

— SpongeBob SquarePants, "Funny Pants"

Dr. Beverly Crusher: "There is no indication at all of the electropathic residual."

Keiko O'Brien: "Is that good?"

Dr. Beverly Crusher: "Oh, you're fine, Keiko."

— Star Trek: The Next Generation, "Violations"

Doctor: "Mrs. Pickles, it seems your daughter has a rather severe case of acute dispectic gastritis."

Drew Pickles: "Oh no! What's that?!"

Doctor: "Ha ha! A tummy ache, Mr. Pickles. A simple, ordinary tummy ache."

— Rugrats, "No More Cookies"