History Quotes / RandomEventsPlot

->''I think my tastes tend to not be very mainstream, but I also think making a quarter-hour show and writing it and editing it, you tend to cut out a lot of the stuff, a lot of the boring lines that explain why things happen so that you just have the jokes.''

->''"There's a presentation by Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the two dudes who created ''South Park'', and Parker details a very simple story structure that they try to capture for every episode to make each one feel cohesive, no matter how batshit they end up being. Did my summary of the Mario movie's plot feel like things were just sort of happening one after the other? Yeah, that's because they kinda do. Trey suggests that you should never make scenes follow an 'and then' structure because that creates a disconnect between the scenes. Instead, each story beat should be followed by either 'but', 'because' or 'therefore', and while the Mario movie does have a fair bit of instances where something in the story happens as a consequence of something else, I'd argue that most of the movie is just random event after random event, that is either not relevant to the rest of the movie or it never resolves in any way. I don't care that the main antagonist is a giant fire-breathing turtle, or that there are talking penguins and mushroom people and Seth Rogen monkey with a red tie, or nihilist talking puff-star that awaits the sweet embrace of oblivion that will one day meet us all, all that is perfectly fine because this world is supposed to be fantastical. Beyond that, the movie doesn't really feel like it has a theme other than 'Mario' because who the hell doesn't know Mario?"''

!!WebAnimation
->"The plot is so flimsy it's painful, like a man with no bones in his arms [[ServiceSectorStereotypes trying to serve you coffee]]... the plot is like a recent car accident victim: staggering back and forth with bits of windscreen in its face for a while before finally collapsing and [[ShootTheShaggyDog bleeding out into a roadside ditch.]]"
-->--'''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''' on ''VideoGame/KaneAndLynch2DogDays''

->''There are so many holes in it, I think of the Battle of the Bulge, comparably, as flatter than a Kansas plain. Not the ''Smallville'' Kansas ones, of course, which [[CaliforniaDoubling teem with mountains and have a waterfront.]]''
-->--'''[[http://www.supermanhomepage.com/tv/tv.php?topic=reviews/smallville-finale1 Neal Bailey]]''' on ''{{Series/Smallville}}''

->''I can only assume it was selected because someone realized that an abandoned generic village and an underwater base almost completely lacking in interesting visual design was going to add up to the least visually engaging episode ever and so decided to throw [[DirtyCommunists some Soviet propaganda posters]] around. Because why not.''
-->--'''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/blog/before-the-flood-review/ El Sandifer]]''' on ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS35E4BeforeTheFlood}} "Before the Flood"]]

->''In order to 'rehabilitate' him, Novicorp transplants his mind into a baboon (don't ask), but things go haywire and Fingal ends up in the central computer, where he creates his own virtual reality simulation of ''{{Film/Casablanca}}'' to pass the time while he destroys much of the world. Yes, he's "[[DesignatedHero the hero]]"... And if you ever wondered what Creator/HumphreyBogart would have been like if he were Puerto Rican, [[WTHCastingAgency your dreams are about to come true.]]''
-->--'''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''' on ''Film/OverdrawnAtTheMemoryBank''

->''The primary problem with the film is that it doesn’t really have a plot. It’s just plot tangents built upon plot tangents...Unfortunately, we spend an hour investigating horses instead of setting up an interesting dynamic.''
-->--'''[[http://them0vieblog.com/2011/01/19/non-review-review-a-view-to-a-kill/ Darren Mooney]]''' on ''Film/AViewToAKill''

->'''Chris''': Jet’s lie detector is one of [[ActuallyPrettyFunny my favorite little bits]] about this movie, if only because it shouts “LIAR!” in a very accusatory robot voice.\\
'''Matt''': It’s weird how some arbitrary things work and others don’t. “Jet Girl has a lie detector just [[RuleOfFunny because she’s smart and she does]]” is fine, but “the girls go to this junk store in [a] tank because they feel like it” is a head-scratcher.\\
'''Chris''': On one level, you have to respect how much they’re throwing at the wall, but there’s a huge gap between what sticks and what doesn’t.
-->--'''Chris Sims''' and '''Matt Wilson''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/comicsalliance-tank-girl-review/ on]] ''Film/TankGirl''

->{{Film/Priest}}'' is a vampire movie, a ''Film/MadMax'' style movie, an ''{{Film/Equilibrium}}'' rip off which is also a ''[[Film/TheMatrix Matrix]]'' rip off, a monster movie, a {{spaghetti western}}, and a kung fu movie. When someone like Creator/JonFavreau has trouble mixing two elements like Film/CowboysAndAliens, then what chance does Scott Charles Stewart have with mixing half a dozen elements? It seemed like the writing spent so much time trying to justify how all these elements exist in this world that it couldn’t focus on the actual plot or the characters.''
-->--'''[[https://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2011/08/25/priest-2011-scott-charles-stewart/ Miles Antwiler]]'''

->"This movie is ''nothing'' but stuff! It's meaningless, empty stuff that has no purpose!"
-->--'''Rich Evans''' on Creator/NeilBreen's ''Double Down'', ''WebVideo/BestOfTheWorst''

->'''Juice:''' basically the story goes, a man named Grimaldi is feeling depressed. way down in the dumps. so he goes to see a doctor\\

'''Mimi:''' Now, you know that’s not the way [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sad_clown_paradox#Pagliacci_joke that story]] goes.\\

'''Mimi:''' Now, you know that’s not the way that story goes.\\

->'''Mimi:''' Now, you know that’s not the way that story goes.\\

'''Juice:''' sometimes a story can just be some shit that happened. i refuse to have a point and you can’t make me

-->-- '''''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''''' on ''WesternAnimation/TheRapsittieStreetKidsBelieveInSanta''

->''In order to 'rehabilitate' him, Novicorp transplants his mind into a baboon (don't ask), but things go haywire and Fingal ends up in the central computer, where he creates his own virtual reality simulation of ''{{Film/Casablanca}}'' to pass the time while he destroys much of the world. Yes, he's "[[DesignatedHero the hero]]"... And if you ever wondered what Humphrey Bogart would have been like if he were Puerto Rican, [[WTHCastingAgency your dreams are about to come true]].''

->''"You know, I've finally come to realize the core problem with this comic. It's not the [[SeriesContinuityError disregard for continuity]]; it's not the [[StrawFeminist sexism]] or the brutal violence or the piss-poor attempts at being relevant; it's that this whole thing is a collection of random, pointless scenes that go nowhere and contribute nothing to the plot! Characters arrive and leave as they please; plot points are introduced and then [[AbortedArc quickly forgotten]]!"''

->''Hex was scarred and nearly killed which somehow gave him the ability to talk to the dead (don’t ask, cause they don’t explain). Hex is now a bounty hunter who is hired by President Grant to stop a plot to take over America by Turnbull using what appears to be {{Anime/Dragonball}}s. I simply don’t know what happened to this movie. Apparently the original script by Neveldine/Taylor (writers of ''{{Film/Crank}}) was quite good. Something must have scared the producers or something drastic happened because the movie was [[ExecutiveMeddling deformed worse than Hex’s face.]]''
-->--'''[[https://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2010/12/21/jonah-hex-2010-jimmy-hayward/ Miles Antwiler]]''' on ''Film/JonahHex''

-->--'''Rich Evans''' on Creator/NealBreen's ''Double Down'', ''WebVideo/BestOfTheWorst''

->''"The plot is so flimsy it's painful, like a man with no bones in his arms [[ServiceSectorStereotypes trying to serve you coffee]]... the plot is like a recent car accident victim: staggering back and forth with bits of windscreen in its face for a while before finally collapsing and [[ShootTheShaggyDog bleeding out into a roadside ditch.]]"''

->''"There are so many holes in it, I think of the Battle of the Bulge, comparably, as flatter than a Kansas plain. Not the ''Smallville'' Kansas ones, of course, which [[CaliforniaDoubling teem with mountains and have a waterfront.]]"''

->''"...Whithouse’s stories have an unfortunate tendency to collapse into “[[JustForFun/XMeetsY x in a y]]” formulations, but never before has he managed anything quite so spectacularly pointless as the inexplicably empty fake Russian village. I can only assume it was selected because someone realized that an abandoned generic village and an underwater base almost completely lacking in interesting visual design was going to add up to the least visually engaging episode ever and so decided to throw some Soviet propaganda posters around. [[ViewersAreGoldfish Because why not.]]"''

->''"In order to 'rehabilitate' him, Novicorp transplants his mind into a baboon (don't ask), but things go haywire and Fingal ends up in the central computer, where he creates his own virtual reality simulation of ''Casablanca'' to pass the time while he destroys much of the world. Yes, he's '[[DesignatedHero the hero]]'... And if you ever wondered what Humphrey Bogart would have been like if he were Puerto Rican, [[OverlyNarrowSuperlative your dreams are about to come true]]."''

->''"The primary problem with the film is that it doesn’t really have a plot. It’s just plot tangents built upon plot tangents. Bond begins investigating Zorin’s company, then his breeding stables, takes a brief timeout to seduce a Russian agent, and then saves Silicon Valley...Unfortunately, we spend an hour investigating horses instead of setting up an interesting dynamic."''

'''Matt''': It’s weird how some arbitrary things work and others don’t. “Jet Girl has a lie detector just [[RuleOfFunny because she’s smart and she does]]” is fine, but “the girls go to this junk store in [a] tank [[{{Padding}} because they feel like it]]” is a head-scratcher.\\

->''"You could make trading cards out of the number of pointless scenes from this movie."''
-->--'''''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''''' on ''Film/TheRoom''

->''"So, 13 minutes into this 40-minute special, and you notice something missing? It starts with 'P', and--it's 'plot'. There is no plot."''

->''"The second one was kind of worse because it was longer and it was a holding pattern, because it went on for like 150 minutes and nothing happened. I mean a bunch of stuff happened but nothing actually happened, just a bunch of'' stuff ''happened."''
-->--'''Creator/MarkKermode''' on ''Film/PiratesOfTheCaribbeanDeadMansChest''

->''""Even if you are naturally funny and have ideas and a point of view, you still need to learn some skills. All art needs structure. Structure helps you put your ideas in an effective order. It gives you a hierarchy: Your story needs a main purpose, and all the gags and bits in the story should fit basically into the story. Your details should hang neatly on the major points and help emphasize them. You don't want to get lost in tangents that confuse the audience. You don't want to have your best ideas and jokes in the first 2 minutes and then have the rest of the cartoon be an anticlimax. (This happened in my cartoon "Black Hole". It had funny ideas and gags, but the structure was faulty and didn't live up to its setup.) With the aid of logical structure you can have your cartoon build and move inexorably forward and keep your audience on the edge of their seats."''

->'''Octavia''': Look, I will admit this is... creative... but you just can't have an opera where nonsensical things happen for no reason!\\
'''Vinyl''': Clearly, you've never heard a {{rock opera}} before.
-->--''Fanfic/TheVinylScratchTapes''

->''"Whereas books like ''Literature/OliverTwist'', or ''Literature/BleakHouse'', or ''Literature/GreatExpectations'', have a central theme which can in some cases be reduced to a single word, the various parts of ''Literature/MartinChuzzlewit'' have not much more relationship to one another than the sounds produced by a cat walking across the piano."''

->''"This movie is nothing but stuff! It's meaningless, empty stuff that has no purpose! But it's... it's... [[SoBadItsGood It's the BEST stuff!]]"''
-->--'''Rich Evans''' on ''Double Down'', ''WebVideo/BestOfTheWorst''

->''"You know, I've finally come to realize the core problem with this comic. It's not the [[SeriesContinuityError disregard for continuity]]; it's not the [[StrawFeminist sexism]] or the brutal violence or the piss-poor attempts at being relevant; it's that this whole thing is a collection of random, pointless scenes that go nowhere and contribute nothing to the plot! Characters arrive and leave as they please; plot points are introduced and then [[AbortedArc quickly forgotten]]!"''
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall Linkara]]''', on ''ComicBook/AmazonsAttack''

->''"This pay-per-view makes me feel like a housecat trying to catch a laser-pointer dot."''
-->--'''[[http://uproxx.com/prowrestling/2015/03/the-best-and-worst-of-wcw-uncensored-1996/3/ Brandon Stroud]]''' on ''{{Wrestling/WCW}} Uncensored '96''

-->--Chris Sims and Matt Wilson [[http://comicsalliance.com/comicsalliance-tank-girl-review/ on]] ''Film/TankGirl''

-->--Creator/JohnKricfalusi, in his [[Blog/JohnKStuff blog post]] [[http://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/2007/03/writing-for-cartoons-5-humor-structure.html "Writing for Cartoons 5"]]

'''Vinyl''': Clearly, you've never heard a rock opera before.

-->--'''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''' on ''KaneAndLynch2DogDays''

-->--'''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/blog/before-the-flood-review/ Phil Sandifer]]''' on ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS35E4BeforeTheFlood}} "Before the Flood"]]

->''"...Whithouse’s stories have an unfortunate tendency to collapse into “[[XMeetsY x in a y]]” formulations, but never before has he managed anything quite so spectacularly pointless as the inexplicably empty fake Russian village. I can only assume it was selected because someone realized that an abandoned generic village and an underwater base almost completely lacking in interesting visual design was going to add up to the least visually engaging episode ever and so decided to throw some Soviet propaganda posters around. [[ViewersAreGoldfish Because why not.]]"''

->''"The second one was kind of worse because it was longer and it was a holding pattern, because it went on for like 150 minutes and nothing happened. I mean a bunch of stuff happened but nothing actually happened, just a bunch of stuff happened."''

-->--'''''Creator/MarkKermode''''' in ''Film/PiratesOfTheCaribbeanDeadMansChest''

->''"The second one was kind of worse because it was longer and it was a holding pattern, because it went on for like 150 minutes and nothing happened, I mean a bunch of stuff happened but nothing actually happened, just a bunch of stuff happened."''