I don't want to get too heavily philosophical here, but the sad truth is that this game perfectly reveals how a lot of guys wish that sexual relationships really worked: You'd just click in the right place, and: Bingo! Score! No need for all that ... talking.
—Dave Barry in Cyberspace
You consult your SWAG REGISTRY and select from it a beautiful FANCY SANTA. An excellent choice! She gains a few HUSBAND-MATERIAL PIPS on her BROACH OF THE CHAPERON'S DERELICTION. It is time to select a COURTSHIP ACTION.
"You're kidding. They make non-porn versions of games like that? Wow. That's... really sad."