Quotes: Cerebus Retcon

Fiction

Elliot: "We got magic through anime style martial arts?!"
Mr. Verres: "Don't interrupt. And technically, yes, you did."

Fooker: Nick and I could go raid his apartment again...
Nick: Um, no... although knowing you were a secret agent casts that incident in a new light...

Mysterion: You think your power is a curse?! Let me tell you something about curses, buttlicker! Because there are some superpowers that make yours look like nothing! Trust me, I know.
Hindsight: Wha—? What is your power?
Mysterion: I can't die.
(beat)
Mysterion: I've experienced death, countless times. Sometimes, I see a bright light. Sometimes, I see Heaven, or Hell. But eventually, no matter what, I wake up in my bed, wearing my same old clothes. And the worst part? Nobody even remembers me dying! I go to school the next day, and everyone is just like, "Oh, hey Kenny," Even if they had seen me get decapitated with their own eyes. You wanna whine about curses, Hindsight? You're talking to the wrong fucking cowboy.

Eddy: I made it all up, Double D. Everything about my brother was a lie. I just made things up so people would like me; think I was cool. But boy was I wrong! The scam, my brother, this...When am I going to learn, Double D?

Reviews

'Ooh, you're just like me, Spider-Man!', [Carnage] burbles, 'Secretly, you also want to murder all those criminals you catch!' But instead of saying the obvious thing, 'No, I don't, you fucking weirdo', Spider-Man weakly concedes that he may have a point.

You wot? Can't say I've ever gotten that particular vibe from Spider-Man: that all his joking around and rescuing people is merely an outlet for his repressed psychotic murder fantasies!

'Crossover' brings on the same feeling as reading dark, brooding, overtly sexual fanfic based on a cheerful kids’ cartoon.

Missing were the logical, peace-loving aliens we’ve grown to know and love as part of the Trek universe. In their place were a bunch of angry, pointy-eared, close-minded racists with an addiction to spray-tan and a penchant for murder and threats. In the show’s final season there was a last-minute, half-hearted attempt to reconcile all of this and turn the Vulcans back into creatures best known for their inability to lie... but by then it was too little, too late.

One of Gaiman’s advertising promises for his episode was that he wanted to have written a part for Matt Smith that would secure him an BAFTA next year...instead what we get is a schizophrenic evaluation of his character which seems to suggest that the Doctor is actually some horribly sexist old letch. In Steven Moffat’s world, maybe, but not mine.

The main storyline began with Superboy-Prime literally punching continuity in order to 'fix' things and ended with the Golden Age Superman getting bloodily beaten to death. It was charming, I assure you.

Yes, a supervillain had somehow gained access to the League's high-tech HQ (in space), and that was when he decided to rape Sue to within an inch of her life. The League showed up soon after to pull him off of her, but the damage was done, and they had to blank Sue's memory to make her forget it. I wish they could do that to my memory—when I close my eyes, I keep seeing Dr. Light's rolling eyeballs and wagging tongue as he violates a minor character who never hurt anybody.

"You have an amazing art form, a medium that’s able to produce things like Fun Home and Maus, and yet when people look at it they mostly see endless variations on these same ideas, and to do something new with his 50th superhero deconstruction, the only think (Mark) Millar can think of is to add more shock value. So we have the same story that was used to sell kids cereal and action figures 50 years ago, only now with more rape!"