Quotes / Cat Fight

Real Life

Happy Presidents Day to all my fellow citizens of the United States of America! On this special day, we should all give thanks to the presidents who worked so hard to give us the freedom to beat a bitch at a Denny’s in Chicopee, MA over maple syrup. Abraham Lincoln truly believed that you gotta fight for your right to eat your pancakes with maple syrup! Really, what is it about Denny’s that makes hos kiss their fists and brawl like they’re auditioning for a CNN reporter position in Egypt? It happened in Oakland last Halloween, and it happened again at a Denny’s in Chicopee. However, this one was totally justified... the dumb little blonde bitches just couldn’t let it be and they open up their yap holes and start talking sideways to the chick they denied maple syrup to. WRONG MOVE. Don’t ever EVER ever screw with a ho who didn’t get to finish her plate of pancakes thanks to you. There’s nothing like a hongray woman scorned. This is what happens.

Damn. That bitch charged at those yappy little girls like they were maple trees and she was trying to punch the sap out of them. And then the other one just stood to the side patiently waiting for her turn to get a fist to the face. Let this be a lesson to you. Give a bitch your maple syrup or the entire Internet world will see your thong.
Michael K., "Bitch, Your Pancakes Look Fine to Me!"


You know, I thought I could get through this without objectifying myself in a sexy catfight. But it looks like that's impossible now.

(KO's Tina with a "Slippery When Wet" Sign)
Doris: Nothing like a bit o' girl-on-girl.

Joey Styles whenever an all-female fight broke out in ECW

"Halfling she-mudwrestlers involved in an evil plot involving sheep."
Groans filled the room.
"They always want she-mudwrestlers!" Rambuck snarled. "Can't they think of anything else?"
"Sheep," Onstag pointed out darkly.

Rule 73: A bro will always alert his bro as soon as possible to the presence of a girl fight.

Chick fight! (points at fight)
—Tony DiNozzo, NCIS

Elaine: What is so appealing to men about a catfight?
Jerry: Because men think if women are grabbing and clawing at each other, there's a chance they might, somehow, kiss.

Howard: Oh my God, GIRL FIGHT!!! (runs to hold Leonard's arms behind him)
Leonard: What're you doing?
Howard: I know you, you're stupid enough to break it up!
The Big Bang Theory, "The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition"

I've never really met a woman who I could turn loose on. I mean, Mala and company are nice, if they're not going two-on-one against you. But there's really nothing like going up against somebody of your own sex. It's fairer. It's more invigorating. I haven't gone a round with Diana, except maybe for some arm-rassling, and I haven't even done that with Fury. But you and me? Why, I can just see us both pulling hair, punching faces, kickin' and scratchin' to beat the band. I'll bet the men would just love it. The first Kryptonian-Hatorian catfight. What do you say?