Cows In Action (abbreviated as C.I.A.) is a series of children's science fiction novels written by British author Stephen Cole and published by Random House. The series ran from 2007 to 2013, with a total of thirteen books in all - including a crossover with Stephen's other popular work, Astrosaurs.
The series follows Professor Angus McMoo and the siblings Pat and Bo Vine, a trio of exceptionally intelligent cattle who have been recruited by the C.I.A. - Cows In Action, an organization from the future year 2550, where sapient cattle live side-by-side with humans. Travelling through time in Professor McMoo's Time Shed, the trio combat the efforts of the Fed-up Bulls Institute (F.B.I.), a warlike group of bulls seeking to avenge the years spent as livestock under mankind's yoke. Using cybernetic Ter-moo-nator agents, the F.B.I. plans to alter the course of history and place cattle as the dominant species of life on Earth, and the C.I.A. must foil their plans to ensure history stays on track. Think Doctor Who, but with cows.
Cows In Action contains examples of the following tropes:
- Animal Talk: Averted - Clever Cows like McMoo can speak to each other and understand human language, but they can't speak to humans or any other animal species. The C.I.A. and F.B.I. provide their agents with Ringblenders that act as translators.
- The Dinosaur Moo-Tants reveals that dinosaurs also have their own language separate from human or cattle language, and a special Ringblender is needed to translate that as well.
- Carnivore Confusion: In the year 2550, cattle live alongside humans and aren't exploited as livestock anymore - which presumably means no more beef.
- My Hovercraft Is Full of Eels: A particularly humorous case happens in The Dinosaur Moo-Tants when McMoo tries to use a stolen Ringblender to communicate with the Astrosaurs. The Ringblender was programmed from the language of a torvosaurus, a species that keeps making bum-based puns, so the Astrosaurs are initially confused as to why this cow keeps talking about bottoms all the time.
- Translator Microbes: One of the many functions of the Ringblender is to translate cattle language to human and back, allowing the trio to communicate with humans if need be.
