Funny: The Mortal Instruments
aka: Mortal Instruments
- City of Bones:
"Well, there goes my plan for selling them all on eBay," Clary muttered."Selling them on what?"Clary smiled blandly at him. "A mythical place of great magical power."
- Clary: "What would demons," she said, "want with our microwave?"
- When Jace tells Clary not to touch his weapons:
"I don't remember any of it," said Alec."Then he sat by Alec's bed all night and into the morning to make sure he woke up okay," Isabelle added."I don't remember that, either," Alec added hastily.
- After Isabelle describes Magnus healing Alec:
Clary: Is it in honor of anything?Magnus: My cat's birthday.Clary: Oh. Where's your cat?Magnus: I don't know. He ran away.
- Clary and Magnus at his party:
Clary: Is this the part where you start tearing off strips of your shirt to bind my wounds?Jace: If you wanted me to rip my clothes off, you should have just asked.
- Clary and Jace:
Dorothea: Have you fallen in love with the wrong person yet?Jace: Unfortunately, Lady of the Haven, my one true love remains myself.Dorothea: At least you don't have to worry about rejection, Jace Wayland.Jace: Not necessarily. I turn myself down occasionally, just to keep it interesting.
- Jace, discussing a prophecy from Madame Dorothea.
It means 'Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234'.
- Jace, "translating" a tombstone for Clary:
Jace: Somehow, I thought it would be bigger.Isabelle: It's the Mortal Cup, Jace, not the Mortal Toilet Bowl.
- When they find the Mortal Cup...
- Clary calling Alec a dickhead, then his stunned "What did you call me?"
- City of Ashes:
Alec: "I- I fell."Jace: "On your neck?"Magnus: "Is he dead? He looks dead."Maryse: "No. He's not dead."Magnus: "Have you checked? I could kick him if you want."Inquisitor: "Stop that!"Magnus: "There's no need to clarify my finger snap. The implication was clear in the snap itself."Simon (regarding Magnus): "Is standing by the window muttering about blood something he does all the time?"Jace: "No, sometimes he sits on the couch and does it."
Clary: "Jace must have done something last night on the boat, something that really pissed Valentine off. Pissed him off enough to abandon whatever plan he had before and make a new one."Luke: "What makes you think that Valentine's change of plans had anything to do with [Jace]?"Clary: "Because only Jace can piss someone off that much."
- After Simon gets turned into a vampire, Luke wanted to help him, so he bought Simon a pamphlet... called "How to Come Out to your Parents".
- City of Glass:
Isabelle: "Anyway, it's yummy. Jace?"Jace: "I am a man, and men do not consume pink drinks. Get thee gone, woman, and get me something brown."Isabelle: "Brown?"Jace: "Brown is a manly color. In fact, look—Alec is wearing it."Alec: "It was black, but then it faded."
- At the celebration:
Simon (to Jace): "Simon Lewis. Key Master. Are you the Gatekeeper?"
Clary: You're a cold-blooded killer!
Jace: As opposed to a peace-loving killer?
- Demon Dorothea, during her attempt to escape the Shadowhunters, attempts to close her door. Said door is missing its lower half. She then places a piano in front of it.
- Madame Dorothea refuses to let Jace inside her apartment if he's armed, and insists he leave his swords outside. He takes out one sword and dumps it, then a knife. Then another sword, then another knife, then more knives, then some more knives, and even when he's finished and holds out his hands to show he's unarmed, she points to his boot and he takes out one more knife.
- Magnus spots our heroes, but agrees to let them stay "because of the hot one." Jace, Clary, and Izzy say thanks. . . only for him to clarify that he meant Alec.