History Funny / ThatMitchellAndWebbLook

'''Erich:''' Yeah. And if we were fighting an army marching under the banner of a rat's anus, I'd probably be a lot less worried, Hans!\\

*** The prize money check has "Children in Need" crossed out.

'''Man:''' No, I just tried to eat a glove!!\\

-->'''Prosecutor:''' The moral of the story is that if you have grounds to believe there is a ferocious predator at large, don't appoint as your sole watchmen a 12-year old child whom you have resolved to ''ignore''.\\

* "Marmits": gloves that taste like marmite but aren't actually edible.

'''Man:''' I'm choking!\\
'''Announcer:''' Marmits: The glove that isn't suitable for human consumption.\\

** The woman with a broken telescreen, having to deal with typical workies repair times (ten to twelve weeks). "Yes, he is still watching you, just not in that room. You and your husband will have to watch each other. ... we did? Oh, then you'll have to watch yourself."

*** Going for three whole days without hitting Numberwang. The SuddenDeath round is literal; [[PyrrhicVictory whoever dies first (while being bombarded with "Number gas") wins.]] It's made even funnier when ''Julie'' dies first, complete with "ding" and funeral flowers that spell out "That's Numberwang!"

* "Coverage Of People Looking For A House Where One Person Wants To Live In One Country And The Other Wants To Live In A Different Country Who Have Perversely Decided Not To Get Divorced". Same basic joke as "People Buying A House", only skewing ''A Place In The Sun''.
-->'''Host:''' So, Steve and Trish, I've spent a month showing you three houses in Dorking and three in the Bahamas and the Mystery House which is in the Bahamas. Where do you want to live?\\

'''Trish:''' I want to live in the mystery house.\\

'''Host:''' Oh.\\
'''Voiceover:''' And since this program has been made, they've [[AllForNothing put up an offer for a house in Dorking.]]
* And then there's "Coverage of People Following The Wills Of Those Who Died In Testate":
-->'''Host:''' ''(on an elderly lady)'' So, was she much loved?\\
'''Man:''' Well, you can say that on the program, but it's patently not true.

-->'''Host:''' We're catching up with his neighbour. Was the old man much loved?\\

'''Host:''' Terrific.

'''Executive 3: I think I know how we could address that.\\

** They eventually contact Alan Carr. He passes because it's "too frivolous". David Starkey contacts them, wanting to do his own version... "The Story of the Blacks". Much shots at Starkey follow.
-->'''Executive:''' David has always been particularly difficult to watch, even at the best of times, and we always sort of assumed that was why people did it, they ''enjoyed'' the challenge, as it were.

-->'''Executive 3:''' I have an idea.\\

'''Erich:''' Well, nothing, obviously, and if there's one thing we've learned in the last thousand miles of retreat, it's that Russian agriculture is in dire need of mechanisation!\\

-->'''Prosecutor:''' The moral of the story is that if you have grounds to believe there is a ferocious predator at large, don't appoint as your sole watchmen a 12-year old child you have elected to ''ignore''.\\

'''Executive:''' Then no.

'''Sir Digby:''' ''(smiles at "Marigold)'' Really?\\

'''Geoff:''' Yeah, 's fine.\\

* The blight of the workers in Room 102, having to deal with the headache of working next door to people who pride themselves on catering exclusively to a person's worst nightmare when RealDreamsAreWeirder.

'''Woman''': Oh, Geoff, they keep you late at the space centre? (''audience laugh over Geoff's line'') Have you met Lionel?\\

'''Host:''' Hello, and welcome back to ''Coverage Of People Buying A House And Then Living In It''. So, Geoff, you want to buy a house, here's a house, what do you think?\\
'''Geoff:''' ''(nods)'' Yeah.\\