History Funny / StargateVerse

Over a dozen seasons and several movies has given the Franchise/StargateVerse plenty of SugarWiki/{{funny moments}}.

[[foldercontrol]]

The Series

[[folder:Stargate SG-1]]
''Series/StargateSG1''

* In the episode ''Crystal Skull'', Carter tries to explain neutrinos to O'Neill:
--> '''Sam:''' Normally neutrinos pass right through ordinary matter, no matter how dense. I mean something like five million billion just passed through you.\\
'''Jack:''' No matter how ''[[CallingMeALogarithm dense?]]''
* At [=DragonCon=] '06, a question is popped "If you could play any other role on ''Stargate'' who would you be?"
-->'''Creator/DonSDavis:''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQF2luNw2JY&feature=related I'd be my own damn role, I have the best chair on the set.]]
** Made even better by another of the cast having a SpitTake in the background as he says it.
** And apparently his character agrees, because when he cameos in season 8 he takes the chair with him when he leaves.
* The episode where the Ori are using preparing to use a Stargate to open a blackhole and power a Supergate. The team brings through the "gate-buster" super nuke, to find a Prior standing there, praying aloud.
-->'''Mitchell:''' I am legally required to inform you that this is a naquadriah-enhanced nuclear explosive device. Once we retreat through the gate, it will detonate, completely vaporizing anything within a thousand kilometers.\\
''(the Prior continues praying)''\\
'''Mitchell:''' ...sir, you are aware that you are within a thousand kilometers of this device?
* "Window of Opportunity", specifically the "This is a time loop so you can get away with anything" montage ("In the middle of my ''backswing''?!"). And when Colonel O'Neill is explaining to Teal'c what the phrase "lose it" means.
-->'''O'Neill:''' ''(while drawing on a plate with ketchup and mustard)'' I'm tellin' you Teal'c, if we don't find a way outta this soon I'm gonna lose it.\\
'''Teal'c:''' ''(cocks eyebrow)''\\
'''O'Neill:''' Lose it... It means go crazy. Nuts. Insane. Bonzo. No longer in posession of one's faculties. Three fries short of a Happy Meal. ''(holds up drawing of smiley face)'' WACKO!
** And also, when the [[RedAlert Unscheduled Off-World Activation]] alarms go off, heralding the reset of the GroundhogDayLoop:
-->'''O'Neill:''' The thing that really bothers me [about starting the loop over again] is that Daniel's in the middle of asking me a question, and I wasn't paying attention the first time.\\
'''Teal'c:''' You are not the only one who must endure some discomfort, O'Neill.\\
''(loop begins again; {{redshirt}} [[TheDoorSlamsYou opens a door and hits Teal'c]])''\\
'''RedShirt:''' Oh, I'm so sorry Teal'c! I didn't see you there.\\
'''Teal'c:''' You have said that on many occasions. Perhaps next time I will not be so forgiving.
** And then one of the first things he does in the "This is a time loop so you can get away with anything" montage is interrupt the RedShirt's apology by shutting the door on ''him''.
** And the moment Daniel points out to them that they could get away with anything, they immediately get up and walk out of the room.
** Jack, wearing a loud yellow sweater, handing his resignation to Hammond seconds before the loop resets. When Carter asks him why he's resigning, O'Neill replies "So I can do. . . this" and gives Carter an EPIC kiss, complete with dip. It's funny watching her melt in his arms, even funnier watching Hammond's absolutely ''stunned'' look.
** Same episode, when the alien archaeologist pulls out a weapon, someone says "What kind of archaeologist carries a gun?" Daniel: *raises hand* "Um, I do."
* Also, Daniel Jackson in the episode "The Sentinel".
-->'''Lieutenant Kershaw:''' I feel better just knowing there's an archaeologist watching our backs.\\
'''Daniel:''' ''(holds up a knife)'' Yeah, which end do the bullets go in again?
* Many of the conversations between O'Neill and the various [[LargeHam Goa'uld]] count as this
-->'''Ba'al:''' You ''dare'' mock me?!\\
'''O'Neill:''' Ba'al, you know me. Of course I dare mock you.
* Much of "The Other Guys", especially O'Neill's reaction to Felger & Coombs' "rescue".
-->'''Felger:''' I brought Coombs with me!\\
'''O'Neill:''' ''(staring in disbelief) Look'' everybody, he brought ''Coombs'' with him!
** Felger and Coombs arguing with each other:
-->'''Felger:''' Don't panic! Just think... what would Colonel O'Neill do in this situation?\\
'''Coombs:''' You want me to ''shoot'' you?
** Future First Prime to Anubis Herak and O'Neill give us this immortal exchange.
-->'''Herak:''' This is nothing compared to what my master Anubis is capable of.\\
'''O'Neill:''' ''(lying on the floor, in pain)'' You ended that sentence in a preposition! Bastard!
** When Felger and Coombs arrive aboard a Goa'uld ring platform, Felger immediately raises his gun, ducks his head, ''covers his eyes with his other arm,'' then slowly turns in a circle while blindly emptying his gun at absolutely nothing.
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_jFSSrtypw One episode has the group in O'Neill's house drinking beer.]] While Daniel balances an orange on his beer bottle, Jack explains how ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' are a perfect analogy to the SGC (Burns as Goa'uld). When Teal'c responds skeptically...
-->'''O'Neill:''' You're so ''shallow''.\\
'''Daniel:''' Oh, please, Teal'c's like one of the deepest people I know. He's... SO deep. ''(to Teal'c)'' Go ahead, tell 'em how deep you are. ''(to Jack)'' You'll be lucky if you understand this.\\
'''Teal'c:''' ''(pause)'' My depth is not relevant to this conversation.\\
'''Daniel:''' Ooooh, ya see?!\\
'''O'Neill:''' ''Okay'', no more beer for you.
* Except maybe "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9HeShH8OBg Urgo]]."
** "Row, row, row your boat..." "I don't even know the words!" "Isn't that hot?"
* Or "Wormhole X-Treme".
** Particularly the special at the end: "What do you ''mean'' it's not a real show?!"
** [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall Or just the idea]] that the Air Force would choose to back a cheezy cable sci-fi series based on a secret mission they do, just to throw off suspicion about the secret mission. [[ParanoiaFuel Try not to think about the implications.]]
* In "200", [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOXLnPetjao The more obscure plot to steal.]]
** Talking puppets!
* [[TheStraightMan Teal'c]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ka6tvlewO3c telling a joke]] in "Seth".
* From "The Other Side"
-->'''O'Neill:''' So, what's your impression of Alar?\\
'''Teal'c:''' That he is concealing something.\\
'''O'Neill:''' Like what?\\
'''Teal'c:''' I am unsure. He is concealing it.
* What about Sam pointing out that they can probably never go public with what they discover going through the 'gate?
-->'''Jack:''' Guess I'm going to have to cancel that ''Oprah'' interview.\\
'''Teal'c:''' What is an Oprah?
* More Teal'c:
-->'''Ba'al:''' It's my clones. They want to kill me!\\
'''Teal'c:''' ''(deadpan)'' That would make all of us.
* The abrupt end of Ryac's wedding rehearsal. After a...''spirited'' discussion on gender roles, both sides of the wedding party storm off, leaving Bra'tac standing alone in the gate room.
-->'''Bratac''': I can see why one must rehearse these events... ''[[INeedAFreakingDrink [takes long, long drink of the wine] ]]''
* The scene where Jonas Quinn accidentally convinces Teal'c that he wants to take over the world. "No. No conspiracy. I promise." Almost immediately followed by him reaching into his jacket, very ominously, and pulling out... a banana. It's ''Jonas.''
* "The Russians are coming."
* When Daniel has resigned in "Forever in a Day", he walks into Hammond's office to hear Jack complaining about his replacement.
-->'''O'Neill:''' The kid's got two left feet. He's slowing us down!\\
'''Daniel:''' Deja vu.\\
'''O'Neill:''' Deja vu.\\
'''Daniel:''' Deja vu.
* Jack and Teal'c trading bodies in "Holiday".
* "What's that got to do with filming a plant?!"
* Most of "1969", with a special mention to Daniel:
-->'''Lt. Hammond:''' [asks a question in Russian]\\
'''Daniel:''' ''Nyet''.\\
'''O'Neill:''' Daniel?\\
'''Daniel:''' He just asked if we were Soviet sp--... oh.
** Also from "1969":
-->'''Michael:''' So your thing, that thing, on your forehead; what's it symbolize? Peace?\\
'''Teal'c:''' [[BrutalHonesty Slavery. To false gods.]]\\
'''Michael:''' Right on?\\
[...]\\
'''Michael:''' We're even thinking of crossing the border up to Canada.\\
'''Teal'c:''' For what reason?\\
'''Michael:''' You know, man. [[UsefulNotes/TheVietnamWar The war]].\\
'''Teal'c:''' The war with Canada?\\
'''Michael:''' No.
** Then there's the team returning at the end dressed for the '60s. Hammond's expression was priceless.
** In the same episode, the entire scene where Daniel and Sam went to Catherine Langford's house pretending to be German friends of her father. Something about Daniel's glasses in that scene always cracks me up.
** How exasperated Daniel sounds when Jack asks how they can pretend to be foreigners. "I speak 23 languages, pick one."
** Also, Teal'c's outfit. The pink tye-dye outfit and the ridiculous fro could only have come from the rest of SG-1 deliberately getting him the craziest thing he could wear, with Teal'c totally unaware they were making fun at him.
** Not to mention Jack's interrogation. Keeping in mind, this is 1969... "You're right. I lied. My name isn't Kirk. It's Skywalker. Luke Skywalker." Plus Jack's natural talent for annoying anyone who tries to interrogate him.
* "Go suck a lemon" (said to a character who not long before mentioned having a lethal allergy to citrus).
** And what prompted this retort? The annoying, not-nearly-as-smart-as-he-thinks-he-is JerkAss telling ''Major Carter'' that he's "always had a thing for dumb blondes."
* Daniel imitating a ship to make the Unas understand how the Goa'uld can attack. Made doubly hilarious if you remember him doing the same thing on Abydos in the original movie... with a chicken. (That was a CMOF in its own right).
** The fact that Chakka, Daniel's Unas friend, gives him an incredulous "What the hell are you doing?" look as he does this never fails to elicit laughter.
* Daniel trying to convince Jack that he's subconsciously leading them to the lost city.
-->'''Daniel:''' Sphere -- planet, label -- name!\\
'''O'Neill:''' Following, you, still, not!
** When Daniel explains his reasoning Carter remains skeptical because while Jack may well be filling in crossword clues with Ancient stargate adresses, he also answered "celestial body" with "Uma Thurman". Ah, Jack.
* Or how about the time when Daniel was talking about how a robot girl's "attention wanders, it's like she has the mind of a child," while Jack is making faces through a magnifying glass in the background.
* Talking about Anubis' latest plan to be evil:
-->'''Rodney [=McKay=]:''' Now that would be embarrassing, wouldn't it? "Nothing can stop the destruction that I bring upon you!" Then the 'gate shuts down. "Oops, sorry, never mind."
** Then, later on, "Yeah, hey, Anubis, this is your agent. You're playing it ''way'' over the top, could you get serious, please?"
* There's a scene in "Ripple Effect" where Asgard scientist Kvasir expounds upon the merits of courage in SG-1's upcoming mission... followed by an abrupt "Good luck" and beaming off the bridge. Daniel comments, "[[ActorAllusion I miss Thor.]]"
* Vala finding the treasure in "Avalon". In fact, many of Vala's scenes in that episode. "I like your outfit." "Isn't this where I beat you up?" "I haven't been this disappointed since Daniel and I had sex!"
** Vala comparing Daniel and Mitchell, and noting the similarites.
--> '''Vala''': ...I don't know anything about your planet. Other than it seems to have a rather interesting, if somewhat limited gene pool... (''Daniel and Mitchell look up at her confusde, then to each other, then back to her'')
* "Bad Guys"
** They're supposed to be holding people hostage, and Daniel's pretending to be the leader.
-->'''Daniel:''' Take as much time as you need, run things through proper channels. We're in no rush.\\
'''Negotiator:''' ''(shocked)'' I'm sure the hostages would disagree with you.\\
'''Daniel:''' Why? We're not gonna hurt them. ''(sees Teal'c staring at him)'' ... Unless you get cute! In which case there's gonna be, uh, killing and... whatnot. ''(Teal'c rolls his eyes)''
** Followed by Daniel losing his cool when two female hostages start fighting over one sleeping with the other's guy. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVbICGqN1os 'Tis hilarious.]] Daniel's attitude in that episode in general is just hilarious.
* "Prometheus Unbound"
** A masculine Goa'uld super-soldier hitting on Daniel. It turns out to be Vala, but for that minute when Daniel didn't know that, you just can't stop laughing.
-->'''Daniel:''' Well, you kept the wrong guy, because I really don't know anything about the ship.\\
'''Kull Warrior:''' But you are very attractive.\\
'''Daniel:''' ''(coughs)'' ... What?... Hey, you know, big guy, I'm flattered, really I am, it's just that, uh, you're not my type. And I'm more than a little disturbed that I might be yours.
** TheReveal that [[SamusIsAGirl Vala Is a Girl]]. Must be seen to be believed.
** The fight between Daniel and Vala is hilarious as well.
** In that same episode is this exchange:
-->'''Vala:''' Whatever happens, I just want you to know that...\\
''(Daniel stuns her)''
* In "The Quest, Pt 2", when SG-1 (plus a few others) are being chased by a dragon, which Daniel believes can be defeated by "knowing its secret name."
-->'''Mitchell:''' So what are we supposed to do, just start guessing?\\
'''Vala:''' Darryl... the Dragon...\\
'''Mitchell:''' How 'bout "Smokey"?\\
'''Teal'c:''' Perhaps... "Puff".\\
'''Daniel:''' ''(annoyed)'' Would you just give me a minute?
** Then Mitchell hatches a plan to kill the dragon by trying to throw a block of C-4 under it, claming "that's where it's weakest," as if he's an expert on ''dragons''.
** Follow that up with Teal'c making the toss, and the dragon catching and swallowing the C-4 instead. When it explodes inside the dragon, apparently causing nothing more than an urpy tummy, Teal'c is left standing dumbstruck in front of it, eyes slightly wide and visibly gulping. (And if you've watched him for the nine and a half years prior, that sight would be hysterical).
** Vala then tries to help after Daniel says the name is most likely Morgan Le Fay, while Daniel ''and'' Adria try to call her back to saftey. She runs right up to the dragon and calls the name, and nothing happens...
--> '''Vala:''' Morgan Le Fay! (after the Dragon roars) ...Darryl?
* The scene where SG-13 walks through the Stargate onto yet another foresty planet.
-->'''Col. Dixon:''' I don't see any indication of anything here.\\
'''Dr. Balinsky:''' Take the usual bet on that, sir?\\
'''Col. Dixon:''' Sure. Wells?\\
'''Airman Wells:''' Abandoned naquadah mine.\\
'''Col. Dixon:''' Boring. But good odds. Bosworth?\\
'''Bosworth:''' I'm going to put my money [[UsefulNotes/{{Vancouver}} on trees]], sir.\\
'''Col. Dixon:''' Bosworth's disqualified for being a smart ass. I'll go with two-headed aliens.
** It didn't hurt having Col. Dixon played by Creator/AdamBaldwin.
** Followed by the immortal line:
-->'''Dr. Balinsky:''' Oh man, Dr Jackson's going to die when he sees this!\\
'''Bosworth:''' What, again?
* When General Hammond tells Jack that they are going to put a Russian officer on SG-1:
-->'''O'Neill:''' Over my rotting corpse sir.\\
''(beat)''\\
'''O'Neill:''' I'm sorry, sir, did I just say that out loud?\\
'''Hammond:''' I told him you'd give it careful consideration.\\
'''O'Neill:''' And that I will, Sir. But I'm pretty sure I'm still gonna say... bite me.
* In "Point of No Return", Teal'c greatly enjoys the vibrating bed.
* Any time one of SG-1 has to impersonate a Goa'uld, such as Daniel claiming to be the System Lord "[[Film/TheWizardOfOz the great and powerful Oz]]" (the look Jacob/Selmak gives him sells it) and Jack demonstrating his extremely limited knowledge of the language.
-->'''O'Neill:''' Jaffa, kree!\\
''(the Jaffa leader looks at him confused)''\\
'''O'Neill:''' You heard me! I ''said'' kree!
* Daniel attempts improvisation again in "Prometheous Unbound", trying to pass himself off as a bounty hunter.
-->'''Daniel:''' The name's Olo. [[Franchise/StarWars Hans Olo.]]
* Teal'c again, when talking to Tanith, a known Goa'uld spy among the Tok'ra:
-->'''Tanith:''' Why have I been left out of such important discussions?\\
'''Teal'c:''' ''(matter-of-factly)'' The Tok'ra did not wish Apophis to be informed.
* O'Neill after hearing about an attack planned by Anubis.
-->'''O'Neill:''' Three days from now? That's a Thursday. Thursday's not good for us.
* O'Neill and a nomad elder having a [[Main/HurricaneOfAphorisms pithy saying competition]]:
-->'''Villager:''' They say they are friends.\\
'''Elder:''' "No one can be a friend if you know not whether to trust him."\\
'''O'Neill:''' "Don't judge a book by its cover."\\
'''Elder:''' "Enemies promises were made to be broken."\\
'''O'Neill:''' And yet, "honesty is the best policy."\\
'''Elder:''' "He that has too many friends has none!"\\
'''O'Neill:''' Ah, but... "birds of a feather."\\
'''Elder:''' I'm unfamiliar with that story. What lesson does it teach?\\
'''O'Neill:''' [[ShaggyFrogStory It has to do with flocking. And... togetherness... and... to be honest, I'm not sure of the particulars myself.]]
* When one of the team has to pose as a drug dealer, Mitchell immediately discounts the others as credible actors for this role, including Carter:
-->'''Mitchell:''' Oh, please, Film/MaryPoppins is not even in the running!\\
'''Carter:''' Hey!
** This exchange is now available as a YTMND [[http://cartermarypoppins.ytmnd.com/ here]].
* Carter excitedly activates an experimental energy reactor... which causes a complete shutdown of the base's primary power systems.
-->'''Hammond:''' In the future, Major, I would like to be informed ''prior'' to you activating any device whose name includes the word "reactor".
* Teal'c explains Jaffa divorce customs.
-->'''Teal'c:''' If a dispute between a Jaffa and his wife cannot be settled, it necessitates a pledge break. It must be offered by one and accepted by the other.\\
'''Daniel:''' And if even that is refused?\\
'''Teal'c:''' A weapon is required.
* Daniel briefing Weir prior to negotiating a treaty with the System Lords:
-->'''Daniel:''' The [[EvilOverlord System Lords]] can't be trusted, either as a group or individuals. They're posturing egomaniacs driven by an insatiable lust for power, each one capable of unimaginable evil.\\
'''Weir:''' See, why should I be nervous? Sounds like an average day at the [[WretchedHive United Nations]].
* I love that one frozen Replicator from "Reckoning" that falls down when [[spoiler:Daniel stops them all.]] THAT WAS PRICELESS!
* Also funny from that scene: most everyone just stops and stares in confusion when the Replicators suddenly halt in their tracks. But not Jack, who just says "Huh. Weird." and continues shooting.
* Teal'c accidentally attending ''Vagina Monologues''. The sheer unexpectedness of scene, and the look on Teal'c's face, was just hilarious.
* From the Season 6 episode "Unnatural Selection":
-->'''Carter:''' So what didn't they go for?\\
'''O'Neill:''' The name I suggested.\\
'''Carter:''' For the ship?\\
'''O'Neill:''' Yeah.\\
'''Carter:''' Yeah. Sir, we can't call it the ''[[Franchise/StarTrek Enterprise]]''.\\
'''O'Neill:''' Why not?
* From "Fail Safe":
-->'''O'Neill:''' And I suppose when [[ColonyDrop Earth gets hit by that rock and we're wiped out]], that's gonna be unfortunate too?
-->'''Freyr:''' Very.
-->''({{Beat}}, then scene cut to debriefing at the SGC)''
-->'''O'Neill:''' And after that, I kind of... lost my temper.
-->'''Hammond:''' What's that supposed to mean?
-->'''Daniel:''' Let's just say that Jack [[DidYouJustFlipOffCthulhu made a reference to Freyr's mother]].
* In "Watergate", SG-1 needs to get into a base, but the local runway is iced over so their plane cannot land. Therefore, they decide to go down via parachute.
-->'''Teal'c:''' ''(glances at the parachute backpack in his hands)'' I do not understand, O'Neill.
-->'''O'Neill:''' It's called a parachute.
-->'''Carter:''' It slows your descent after you jump out of the plane.
-->'''Teal'c:''' [[FlatWhat This device seems poorly designed for such a function.]]
-->'''O'Neill:''' It opens after you jump. ''(Teal'c gives a skeptical look)'' Don't worry about it, I've done this hundreds of times.
-->''(hatch opens)''
-->'''O'Neill:''' It's easy! Just jump and pull this!
-->'''Teal'c:''' [[NotSoStoic This does not seem wise, O'Neill!]]
-->'''O'Neill:''' I said it was easy, not wise!
-->''(Carter jumps)''
-->'''Teal'c:''' ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck This does]] [[OhCrap not seem wise!!]]'' ''(O'Neill shoves him out)''
** And Daniel, who's up after Teal'c, puts on a ThisIsGonnaSuck expression of his own but jumps without a word because he knows that if he won't, O'Neill will throw him out too.
* In episode 10.15, "Bounty", Vala has accompanied Mitchell back to Kansas for his high school reunion. Mitchell's left the table for a moment, and his parents get the wrong idea, which Vala does nothing to dissuade:
-->'''Mrs. Mitchell:''' Well then, I take it that you two are... quite um...\\
'''Mr. Mitchell:''' Serious?\\
'''Vala:''' Oh. Absolutely! Well, I mean at first it was just sex, sex, sex, in all rooms of the house at all times of the day! But uh, well, once we got a chance to get to know each other, we formed a deeper connection. A spiritual bond, you might say.
** What really clinches it is that when Mitchell returns to the table, his father gives him a "you dog" look.
** A lot of Cam and Vala's interactions in the episode are funny on a meta level since the two are very much not an item in SG-1, but they played characters who were very much in love in ''Series/{{Farscape}}''. This makes Mitchell's repeated vocal declarations that there is nothing going on between the two of them extra funny.
** Also from this episode, when Vala begs Cam to let her accompany him to his high school reunion:
--->'''Mitchell''': It is a high school reunion, not some swank party. Besides, you will be bored out of your mind!
--->'''Vala''': Don't you dare talk to me about boredom! Everybody else here has a life. Sam, off at a conference. Daniel, in a museum somewhere, doing research. Teal'c off-world...Me? I have absolutely nothing to do.
--->'''Mitchell''': Vala. (beat) It is in ''[[FlyoverCountry Kansas]]''.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Stargate Atlantis]]
''Series/StargateAtlantis''

* Just before Sheppard and Ford step through the gate to Atlantis.
-->'''Sheppard:''' What's it feel like?
-->'''Ford:''' ''(somberly)'' It hurts like hell, sir. ''*{{beat}}*'' ''(grins and leaps backward into the puddle)'' Woohoo!
* In "Rising Part One", Rodney's attempt to channel [[EngagingChevrons Walter]], only for Weir to shoot him a look and force him to dial normally.
* Everyone being impressed when Peter Grodin demonstrates the shield over the Atlantis Stargate... ''except'' for Rodney, who [[MadnessMantra quickly reminds]] them that they're trying to avoid draining power;
--> '''Rodney''': Using power, using ''power'', using '''power'''...
* From "Rising Part Two", Sheppard's first experience with the mental interface in the Puddle Jumper.
--> '''Sheppard''': Well, I've been thinking about that [how to find the Wraith base]--
--> ''*HUD pops up a display showing the location of the Wraith ship*'''
--> '''Ford''': We'll need some way to locate them once we're inside.
--> '''Sheppard''': I've been thinking about that too--
--> ''*Life Signs Detector immediately pops out of a wall compartment*''
--> '''Sheppard''': And now I'm thinking of a nice turkey sandwich.
--> ''*{{Beat}}*''
--> '''Ford''': Worth a try.
* In "Letters from Pegasus", [=McKay=] records a video to send to Earth containing his thoughts on the mission so far, and keeps getting wildly sidetracked from his topic before wandering back to it with "Where was I... oh yes... ''leadership''." All in the delivery.
** Another from that episode, when Zelenka records a video message enthusiastically recapping the rising of Atlantis in unsubtitled Czech. When he's finished, Ford asks, "You didn't say anything that would require security clearance, did you?" [[OhCrap "...Security clearance?"]]
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAIigNcwYLc Ronon and his gun.]] Sheppard's reaction is simply priceless.
* The RunningGag with [=McKay=]'s observations that Sheppard frequently has good chemistry going with [[GreenSkinnedSpaceBabe Ascended and alien women]] is sometimes a floor-roller.
-->'''[=McKay=]:''' Oh my God, he ''is'' [[Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries Kirk]]!
** Also, "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yDmPwP26SA You shot me!]]"
-->'''Sheppard''': Yes, and I said I was sorry.\\
'''Ronon''': He shot me too.\\
'''Sheppard''': I'm sorry for shooting everyone!
** Or when they're experimenting with the personal shield in season one.
-->'''Weir:''' I can't understand why you thought it as a good idea to test this device by having someone throw you off a balcony.\\
'''[=McKay=]:''' Believe me, it wasn't the first thing we tried.\\
'''Sheppard:''' ''(proudly)'' I shot him!\\
''(Weir makes a FlatWhat face)''\\
'''Sheppard:''' In the leg! ''(shrugs)''
* In the third part of "The Siege", Caldwell suggests sinking the city again. [=McKay=] has this priceless response:
--> It is a ''city'', not a ''yo-yo.''
* In the Season 2 episode "Runner", the team is going to a DeathWorld to try and find Lt. Ford. Rodney objects to the DeathWorld aspect.
-->'''[=McKay=]''': Whoa, wait a second. 736? The U.V. index there during the day is something like a thousand.\\
'''Sheppard''': Bring your sunscreen. Be ready in ten minutes.\\
''(Rodney grumps. Everyone stares at him.)''\\
'''[=McKay=]''': What? I wanna get Ford back just as much as everyone else, but do you see my complexion? Yes, it's very fair! Extremely fair. ''({{beat}})'' This isn't fair.
** Cue Rodney showing up in ten minutes, dressed in a ''hazmat suit''.
* The entire episode with [=McKay=] and Cadman unwillingly sharing a body, with Cadman's often snarky commentary on [=McKay=].
** [=McKay=] and Zelenka, up to their usual tricks. "Doctor Fumbles [=McStupid=]!"
--> Yes. Yes, I made a mistake, trying to save ''your'' life. Now, are you going to try and help me fix it, or are you going to continue to berate me?!
--> I am perfectly capable of doing both at the same time!
* The dialogue between Sheppard, [=McKay=], and passive-aggressive Asgard Hermiod in the episode "Intruder". Sheppard's clear unease around Hermiod, and especially the delivery of "Is he supposed to be naked like that?!" are especially lol-worthy.
** Hermiod, by virtue of sharing most of his scenes with [=McKay=], is CMOF incarnate. He's basically the Asgard [=McKay=].
-->'''[=McKay=]''': ''*examining a computer readout*'' OhCrap!\\
'''Hermiod''': ''(accusingly)'' What did you do?\\
'''[=McKay=]''': I just ran it through a translation tool... It's Wraith.\\
'''Hermiod''': ''*glances back at his readout*'' "Crap", indeed.
** He has several hilarious lines:
-->'''[=McKay=]''': Ah, so they ''can'' fly that ship without you.\\
'''Hermiod''': Yes. But apparently ''you'' can't run these tests without me.\\
'''[=McKay=]''': Very funny.
** He's also proof that ''everyone'' thinks Kavanaugh is annoying.
-->'''Hermiod''': Doctor Kavanaugh...\\
'''Kavanaugh''': Yes?\\
'''Hermiod''': Stop. Talking. Please. ''({{beat}})'' Thank you.
* [=McKay=] levels a gun at the two Wraith that stunned his escorts and have him cornered, and yells "You want some of this, huh?!" Then hits the magazine release...
* When Sheppard is talking to the Wraith they've captured, early on in the first season:
-->'''Sheppard:''' I don't even know your name. That's assuming you people even have names. ''(pause)'' Wait. Let me guess. Is it... Steve?\\
'''"Steve" the Wraith:''' I am your death. That is all you ever need know.\\
''(long pause)''\\
'''Sheppard:''' I liked Steve better.
* Almost every time Todd is on screen. Here's his first encounter with Carter:
-->'''Todd:''' ''("feeding" hand extended and talking to Carter)'' I believe it is customary on your planet to shake hands as a sign of greeting.\\
''(every marine raises his rifle)''\\
'''Todd:''' ''(laughing)'' Just a little bit of Wraith humor.
** Carter actually looks fairly amused.
* Also, Todd's name, courtesy of Sheppard.
-->'''Sheppard:''' Was a guy I knew in college. He was very pale.
* Todd's second-in-command (whom Sheppard nicknames "Kenny") seems to have picked up on his boss's snarking:
-->'''Kenny''': They appear to have jumped to a new location.\\
'''[=McKay=]''': Why would they do that?\\
'''Kenny''': I do not know. ''I'm'' not on the ship.
* In "The Storm" Sheppard has to disconnect two inconveniently placed grounding stations.
-->'''Sheppard:''' Wait a second. Are these things even close to a transporter?\\
'''[=McKay=]:''' Elizabeth's is.\\
'''Sheppard:''' And mine?\\
'''[=McKay=]:''' It's a...brisk walk away.\\
'''Sheppard:''' And by "brisk" you mean "far"?\\
'''[=McKay=]:''' And by "walk" I mean "run."
* Rodney's EmbarrassingFirstName:
-->'''Jeannie''': What have you gotten yourself into, Meredith?\\
''*awkward pause, Rodney winces*''\\
'''Carter''': Meredith?\\
'''Jeannie''': It's his name.\\
'''Carter''': Your name is Meredith?\\
'''Rodney''': Meredith Rodney [=McKay=], yes. But I prefer to go by "Rodney".\\
'''Carter''': Your name is ''Meredith''?
* From "Sateda": [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbbHciml8oc The "Gluteus Maximus" scene]]
-->'''[=McKay=]:''' ''(very very doped up on drugs and slightly slurring)'' Excuse me -- why am I lying here?\\
'''Carson:''' You have an arrow, Rodney. In your gluteus maximus.\\
'''[=McKay=]:''' Oh. Well, that sounds painful. ''(dopily muttering to himself)'' Gluteus... maximus. Glooteeous, maxi-- ''(with mild, drowsy surprise)'' Oh my god! That's my ass, isn't it?\\
'''Carson:''' ''(resignedly)'' Aye.
* This exchange:
-->'''Woolsey:''' That sounded like an explosion!\\
'''O'Neill:''' Yes. Yes it did.\\
'''Woolsey:''' What does that mean?\\
'''O'Neill:''' Something exploded.
** Same episode, after Woolsey asks another string of questions, and Jack finally points out that he's been sitting right ''next to'' Woolsey the whole time, so how does Woolsey expect ''him'' to know any more than he does?
** Face it, that whole episode is just full of funny moments between Woolsey and O'Neill.
-->'''Woolsey:''' ''(looking for General O'Neill)'' General? General?!\\
'''O'Neill:''' ''(appears out of nowhere)'' And if I was a Replicator?!\\
'''Woolsey:''' ''(shame-faced)'' Then I just gave away our position.\\
'''O'Neill:''' Again.
* The episode "Brain Storm", where Rodney attends a scientific conference -- and is bullied by Bill Nye and Neil [=deGrasse=] Tyson ("from TV"). Also, the running gag of people assuming Keller is Rodney's sister.
** Pretty much that entire episode counts.
-->'''Creator/StephenHawking:''' We get it. It works. Shut it down. I'm starting to freeze to my chair.
** [=McKay=] to [[PlutoIsExpendable Neil deGrasse Tyson]]: "Hey, at least I didn't declassify Pluto from planet status. Way to make all the little kids cry, Neil. That make you feel like a big man?" [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Me3-r5rsUSI SO. GOOD.]]
*** That scene is also hilarious for Bill Nye calling dibs on Keller saying: "Well, Neil, you're married, so... Dibs."
* ''Harmony'' steals Sheppard's chocolate, blames Rodney and pretends to cry.
* Sheppard: "Operation This Will Most Likely End Badly is a go."
* The team are stranded on a prison island so they're stuck fighting off the prisoners. Teyla improvises eskrima sticks by breaking a sturdy branch in half across her knee. Sheppard tries the same thing, except his branch is much thicker and he just ends up badly bruising his knee. So he uses it to knock the wind out of an ambushing prisoner.
* It's a small one, but after Sam calls a end to the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxgpYP2RHkM Ronon and Teal'c fight]], Sheppard is glowering as he takes his part of the betting pool and then hands one of the random money notes back to Chuck the technician, who just looks baffled.
** What I find even more funny in that scene is that those "random money notes" are actually Canadian bills.
** Teal'c and Ronon vs an entire base of Wraith. During this epic curbstomp, Teal'c at one point picks up Ronon's gun and shoots a Wraith with it. Afterward, he stares at it in awe, and looks at Ronon.
-->'''Teal'c''': I would ''very'' much desire a weapon such as this!\\
'''Ronon''': ''*grabs gun*'' Yeah? Get in line.
** Also from that episode, Teal'c drops his standard catchphrase of "Indeed" and Ronon points out that Teal'c says that a lot. Teal'c, of course, has no idea he says "Indeed" so much, even though it was his catchphrase for 10 years on ''[=SG1=]''.
* Rodney has temporarily lost his hearing. Sheppard tries to get his attention by making him angry:
-->'''Sheppard:''' Canadian football's a joke... Céline Dion is overrated... Zelenka is smarter than you are!\\
'''Rodney:''' I've found it! There's an Ancient bio-lab that may have some data on this. We should go check it out!\\
'''Sheppard:''' Sure thing, ''Meredith''.
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wl7Ul8uaHoE This]] scene, completely random and unexpected.
* Sheppard refusing to let Teyla have more kills than him:
-->'''Sheppard''': I got seven, Teyla got...?\\
'''Teyla''': Eight.\\
'''Sheppard''': Right, I got nine, Teyla got eight, Ronon got the rest.\\
'''Teyla''': ''*rolls eyes*''
** Even better this number is upped to twelve at episodes end while Teyla just stares incredulously at Shepard.
* This line:
-->'''Major Lorne''': Wow... you must really be some kind of genius.\\
'''[=McKay=]''': Well, as a matter of fact I-- eh, wait, why would you say that just now?\\
'''Major Lorne''': Something has to have kept Col. Sheppard from shooting you all this time.
* As usual, Rodney is rather confident.
-->'''Dr. Rodney [=McKay=]''': That's weird. A bunch of secondary systems just came online.\\
'''Lt. Colonel John Sheppard''': You're a genius, Rodney.\\
'''Dr. Rodney [=McKay=]''': True, but I didn't do it.
* Ronon was first introduced by holding Sheppard and Teyla hostage by tying them up back to back. While he's away hunting, Teyla attempts to reach her knife by wriggling her fingers through the ropes. The look on Sheppard's face thinks otherwise.
-->'''Sheppard''': What the hell are you doing?\\
'''Teyla''': Getting my hand free.\\
'''Sheppard''': [[{{ShipTease}} Doesn't feel that way.]]
* From "Be All My Sins Remembered", [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkJ6FY4A9wE the "Colonels" scene]]:
-->'''Colonel Caldwell''': ''(To Ellis)'' Colonel.\\
'''Colonel Ellis''': ''(To Caldwell)'' Colonel.\\
'''Colonel Caldwell''': ''(To Carter)'' Colonel.\\
'''Colonel Carter''': ''(To Caldwell & Ellis)'' Colonels.\\
'''Colonel Ellis''': ''(To Sheppard)'' Colonel.\\
'''Lt. Colonel Sheppard''': ''(To Ellis & Caldwell)'' Colonels.\\
'''Dr. [=McKay=]''': ...Seriously?
* While an otherwise serious episode, ''Grace Under Pressure'' has this little gem from when Sheppard recruits Zelenka to help him find [=McKay=]'s crashed puddlejumper on the ocean floor.
-->'''Zelenka:''' ''(panicky)'' I-I can't even swim!\\
'''Sheppard:''' There's not much swimming in that depth.\\
'''Weir:''' Look, I'm not going to order you to go-\\
'''Sheppard:''' I ''will''!\\
''(Weir gives him a DeathGlare)''
* Blink and you'll miss it, but when Sheppard and Beckett are dispatched to assist an exploration team, they actually fistbump after being introduced to the team, who are all female.
* Rodney's utter horror and resultant freak-out at the prospect of having to deliver baby Torren. Gems include, "Oh my god, I can see its head, am I meant to touch it, am I allowed to touch it?" and "Okay, I'll be fine, I'm great with kids... the little ones, the ones that don't talk back."
* Rodney and Sheppard race remote controlled cars in a hallway when Teyla approaches them with baby Torren. It's a sweet bonding moment until Rodney challenges Sheppard to another race and Sheppard cheats by ignoring the countdown and sending his car racing.
* The team are trapped in a prison cell aboard a Wraith ship. Ford tosses a hidden knife at the door release and misses. Ronon steps up with his own hidden knife, misses...then pulls out ''another'' hidden knife and tries again. When we cut back to them next, there are at least half a dozen knives stuck in the wall, and Ronon is producing ''yet another.'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q0f6qxhOJI Watch it here.]]
-->'''Sheppard:''' How many of those things have you got?
-->'''Ronon:''' How many do you need?
** As one Website/YouTube commenter put it: "Ronon did not hit the right part of the console, the ship just finally surrendered."
* Another "trapped in a prison cell aboard a Wraith ship" moment. Sheppard is sharing a cell with a Pegasus galaxy native. Hearing his plans to break out, she asks him if he doesn't fear the Wraith. He replies no, but says that clowns scare the crap out of him. Later:
-->'''Prisoner:''' You have fought the Wraith before?\\
'''Sheppard:''' Lots of times. Won some battles, lost some. War's not over by a long shot, but we're managing to hold our own.\\
'''Prisoner:''' ''(soberly)'' And the clowns?\\
'''Sheppard:''' Clowns? ''({{beat}})'' Oh yeah, the clowns. ''(gravely)'' Well, we fight them too. Entire armies spilling out of Volkswagens. We do our best to fight them off, but...they keep sending them in.
* Another Ronon moment: when several of the (Earthborn) staff are reminiscing about how frightening the movie ''Film/{{Alien}}'' was, and how it gave some of them nightmares for weeks, Ronon's response is an excited "I have ''got'' to see this movie!"
* The SGA novel "Mirror, Mirror" manages to take it to an artform along with the end of reality as we know it.
** The following all occurs within the span of two pages:
-->'''Rodney''': Elizabeth. I need to see you down in the lab immediately.\\
'''Weir''': Rodney, do you know what time it is?\\
'''Rodney''': 20 past 2.\\
'''Weir''': IN THE MORNING!!!!\\
'''Rodney''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I'm familiar with the 24 hour clock.]]
** And her response is brilliant.
--> ''Weir had never considered murder a particularly effective way of dealing with issues. But right now she was seriously considering otherwise.''
** Then she gets down there and he's woken Sheppard and Zelenka.
** After Zelenka goes on a tirade in ''VERY'' offensive Czech.
-->'''Sheppard''': When he does that, he reminds me of Hermiod.\\
'''Weir''': More hair.\\
'''Sheppard''': More clothes.
** Turns out Icarus is ''one of Sheppard's ancestors'' and he's got someone else's personality.
-->'''Zelenka''': Where it's important, he's like Rodney. Charm, class, communication.\\
'''Ikaros''': Glad you didn't include ''intelligence'' in there!
** And a HilariousInHindsight joke. (Note: The book was published in Season 3 and took place before Episode 6 of Season 2)
-->'''Jinto''': Torran would be a fine name for a ''girl'', but for a boy!?
* In "The Game" while investigating a planet that has somehow deified [=McKay=] without ever meeting him, what's the first thing Ronon does? Grab a crossbow off a merchant's stall and start playing with it.
* After Woolsey takes over leadership of Atlantis one of the first changes he makes is asking Ronon to start doing mission reports, just like the other members of his team. Woolsey says he's not looking for "grande soliloquies", he merely wants Ronon to describe, [[ExactWords in his own words]], his recollections of their missions. After fending off an invasion by Michael and his hybrids, Ronon delivers the following report: "Mission report: Michael invaded Atlantis, tried to blow it up, we stopped him. End of report."
* Paul [=McGillion=] plays Dr. Carson Beckett, who dies towards the end of Season Three. [[TearJerker It is sad.]] However, it also CrossesTheLineTwice [[FridgeBrilliance when you realize]] that at his funeral, much of the cast are [[IncrediblyLamePun Paul Bearers.]]
* From "Hide and Seek": John Sheppard is ''very'' enthusiastic about (American) football. Teyla is confused. And Elizabeth's just there for the popcorn.
* In the season 5 episode "The Lost Tribe," the Daedalus gets taken over by the Wraith, forcing Ronon and Dr. Keller to go on the run. When Keller asks what they're going to do, Ronon (often treated as DumbMuscle) casually replies that they get to an access ladder, head down two floors to the engineering rooms, then cripple the ship. Keller tentatively asks if he knows how to do all that. He replies with a puzzled "Yeah, don't you?" He also knows exactly which tray of control crystals to destroy to bring the ship out of hyperspace, in a way which implies that his first priority after boarding the ship was learning precisely how to disable it.
--> '''Keller''': You can't just blast away at vital systems like-- (Ronon shoots out another tray of crystals) What if you take out the life support system?\\
'''Ronon''': (Gesturing) Don't worry, the life support system is that tray. [[GallowsHumor At least I'm pretty sure it is.]]
* Virtually the only well written moment in the series finale, when Sheppard offers Todd the Wraith his life in exchange for intel on the current threat.
--> '''Todd''': Am I supposed to be enticed by this offer?\\
'''Sheppard''': [[BrutalHonesty No. I'll probably kill you anyway.]] But don't forget: this Wraith betrayed you and got away with it. For no other reason, you might want to do it out of pure spite.\\
'''Todd''': ''YOU''... ''[[WorthyOpponent know how to talk to me]]'', John Sheppard! ''(Bursts out laughing)''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Stargate Universe]]
''Series/StargateUniverse''

* When O'Neill and Rush show up on Eli's doorstep with a non-disclosure agreement asking for his help, he skeptically asks what will happen if he doesn't sign it. O'Neill answers in his usual [[DeadpanSnarker deadpan]] that they'll beam him up to their space ship. Thinking he's joking, Eli shuts the door on them. He soon finds out it wasn't a joke.
* Eli's running commentary of the ApocalypticLog in "Time", but particularly.
-->''[In the video, Rush runs off during a fire fight with alien creatures]''\\
'''Video!Eli''': Where are you going! You're crazy! He's crazy!\\
''[Cut back to the crew watching the video]''\\
'''Eli''': ''[turns to Rush]'' You are!\\
'''Rush''': ''[shrugs]''
** Rush [[DissonantSerenity cheerfully referring]] to the BolivianArmyEnding from "Film/ButchCassidyAndTheSundanceKid" before he runs through the [[DyingMomentOfAwesome unstable gate]]. Becomes funnier when you [[FridgeBrilliance realise]] that the reason he was probably thinking of this film was due to Eli annoying him about his hypothetical list of "Top 5 Desert Island Movies" earlier in the episode.
* Also in the episode "Earth", in the first glitch with the communication stones. Colonel Young is having sex with his wife, when suddenly he and Telford switch consciousness for a few seconds, right at *ahem* a very important part in the action. When they switch back again, it goes something like this:
--> '''Scott''': Telford? Sir?\\
'''Telford''': O__O\\
'''Scott''': Sir? Sir?\\
'''Telford''': *blink*
* In "Divided", the communication stones are used to bring a doctor from Earth. She becomes increasingly mortified by the weird conditions on the ship (alien venom as an anesthetic, a makeshift fiber optic camera made from a hovering camera ball, and the fact that the ship is being attacked). TJ simply responds, "Welcome to ''Destiny''." Hmm, that has a [[Literature/{{Everworld}} certain ring to it]].
* Chloe tries to justify having picked up archeology to Colonel Young, with Eli's help.
-->'''Eli''': Say something archaeological.\\
'''Chloe''': Stratification!\\
'''Eli''': That's good.\\
'''Chloe''': Thank you.
** Counts as an ''in-universe'' CMOF, as their rather long and awkward string of justifications ends with Young chuckling to himself once they leave the room.
** Later on, Eli claims that he called Greer out for being afraid as a joke. Because he thought that they were on that level in their relationship.
--->'''Greer''': I'm going to stay up here and cover your backs.\\
'''Eli''': What are you, scared? ''*Greer gives him a stare*'' That was a joke. I'm sorry, I must have mistakenly thought we were on that level now. You know, friends who can kid each other like that? ''*Greer removes shades and switches to a full blown death stare*'' Please don't kill me?
** Same episode, when the away team have to call in a rescue team due to the aftermath of a spider attack, and having to explain it to Young.
--->'''Scott''': It was a sizable spider, sir.
* O'Neill is good for these.
-->'''Telford''': What makes us so special?\\
'''O'Neill''': I know what makes ''me'' special.
* Greer vs. Alien Fruit. Both times ("Justice" and "Faith"). The first time, he pretends the "alien sweet potato" tastes delicious (which was a little too generous). The second time, he eats a completely random fruit to the horror of the rest of the off-world team.
--> '''TJ''': We don't even know if it's poisonous!\\
'''Greer''': (deadpan) We will.
** Greer vs. Alien Wildlife. "Is it something we can barbecue?"
** Then again, in "The Hunt": Greer and Varro are carrying a wounded corporal back to the gate. They suddenly see a "space deer". Next scene: "Becker's Barbecue" on Destiny.
* Eli and Young's exchange about the returning crew members' explanation in "Visitation."
--> '''Eli''': "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." -Arthur C. Clarke\\
'''Young''': "Turn the mic back on." -Winston Churchill
** Apparently, Young starts to get how to make Eli understand what he wants (from "Resurgence"):
---> '''Young''': (about how Eli should send a signal to an alien ship) "Ancient, English, Bat-Signal, and whatever else you've got."
* Volker on seeing the alien ship in "The Greater Good"
--> '''Volker''': (deadpan) "New friends. Yay."
** In a later episode, when Rush dryly comments on their status, Brody joins in:
--> '''Rush''': Well at least we have a full tank of gas.
--> *Sarcastically in unison*
--> '''Volker''' / '''Brody''': Yaaaay.
* The Kino mini-episodes can be full of funny:
** "We... turned him purple."
** Eli taking a Kino on a tour of the ship and getting lost.
--->'''Eli''': And this room is... *looks around in confusion* I don't think I've been in here before... *wanders off camera*
** Scott catching people watching ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'' when they should be exercising, and how they get him to go away:
-->'''Scott''': [About running two miles] I can do it under 23 minutes.
-->'''Eli''': Really? Funny, because there's a protein bar here that says you can't.
-->[''Scott runs off, everyone goes back to watching'' ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'']
* When Brody attempts to turn off Music/AlsoSprachZarathustra in "Hope", the Numa Numa song comes on.
** Also in "Hope", this little exchange in the medlab:
-->'''Park:''' Still a lot of potential post-operative drawbacks. Infection, high blood pressure, erec..tile..dys..function...(trails off)
--> (beat)
--> [''Brody, TJ and Park try and fail to stifle their laughter.'']
--> '''Volker:''' Why is that funny?
--> [''Brody, TJ and Park try laugh harder.'']
* This:
-->'''Rush:''' You've come a long way from the videogame slacker I met one year ago.\\
'''Eli:''' Thanks... You've been pretty consistent.
* Pretty much the entirety of "Common Descent" and "Epilogue," at least the parts that weren't Crowning SugarWiki/HeartwarmingMoments.
-->'''Volker:''' What's Rush's country called? ''Rushia?''
-->'''Eli:''' ...Futura.
-->'''Volker:''' ...what the hell kind of name is Futura?
-->'''Brody:''' What's wrong with Futura?
-->'''Eli:''' Well, they say that you ''(indicates Brody)'' came up with it.
** When everyone realizes where Yaozu's little words of wisdom come from.
-->'''Yaozu:''' "It is easier to know where you are going if you know where you have been." Eli Wallace.
-->'''Everyone Else:''' ''(awkward silence)''
** More Futura humor.
-->'''Volker:''' Maybe ''Futura'' helped.
-->'''Park:''' Isn't that a font?
-->'''Brody:''' Will you shut up about the name?
** The PairTheSpares moment.
-->'''Eli:''' Me and...Private Barnes?
-->'''Chloe:''' You know...if you want to pursue that?
** One of the last Kino recordings is of Brody...complaining.
-->'''Brody:''' [[GrumpyOldMan All these kids...running around, dancing. Always dancing. Tearing up my lawn! When I was a kid, people had respect--]] ''(recording shuts off)''
* A bit of BlackComedy in "Malice", when Rush makes it clear he doesn't want Simeon to come back alive.
--> '''Rush''': Shoot him!
--> '''Greer''': Alright.
--> *''Shoots him in the leg''*
--> '''Rush''': Shoot him ''[[KickTheSonOfABitch again!]]''
* Eli is discussing food with Camille and Chloe and they mention "purple fruits" with enthusiasm. Eli's confused because the fruits tasted bad. Chloe and Camille trade sly grins that indicate they weren't talking about eating them.
* Rodney [=McKay=] is invited aboard to peer review Eli's extremely complicated science-y plan. After leaving them alone for a little while, the crew comes in to check on their progress, finding them heatedly arguing over equations they'd written on the wall. After some prompting, they learn that Eli and Rodney had long ago finished checking it over and determining that, yes, the plan will work, and ever since they had been arguing over finer points of mathematical theory and wormhole physics. The best part is that the two of them have clearly been having ''the time of their lives'' doing this.
* In ''Incursion Part 2'' Young sends Greer along with the medical supplies they're providing in a prisoner exchange. Young claims that Greer is also a medic, which is hilarious to anyone who's been watching the show. In reality he's part of an ambush.
[[/folder]]

The Films

[[folder:Stargate: The Movie]]
''Film/{{Stargate}}'' (1994)

* After Daniel is brought to the cover stones, he immediately begins tearing apart and fixing the shoddy translation of the text someone already did on the blackboard.
-->'''Daniel:''' Well the translation of the outer text is... Wrong... Must've used Budge. I don't know why they keep reprinting his books... [''starts erasing and writing new translations'']
-->'''Gary Meyers:''' Hey, you- We've used every known translation- What are you-
-->'''Daniel:'''[''Not paying attention''] It's not "coffin"... [''strikes several more lines''] "For all time"... Who the hell translated this?
-->[''Everyone looks at Gary Meyers'']
-->'''Gary:''' Well, er uh um I-I did.
* Daniel, trying to tell the villagers that their food TastesLikeChicken over the language barrier, actually imitating a chicken. ''Bawk bawk bawk''...
* Colonel O'Neil trying to use pantomime gestures to ask the kids where Daniel Jackson is, while the kids, not understanding what he's trying to do, instead repeat all the gestures back as a game. To top it all off, when they finally understand him, they show that they know who he's talking about by ''bawking like chickens''.
--> "I don't suppose the word 'dweeb' means anything to you people..."
* "He's inviting us to go with him." "How do you know that?" "Because he's (''*gestures*'') inviting us to go with him."
* Daniel, being dragged all over an alien desert by the alien equivalent to a horse.
--> '''Daniel''': HELLLLPPP MEEEEE! OHHHHHH! ([[SugarWiki/AwesomeMusic as the theme song blares at full volume.]])
* Remeber Nabeh, the goofy guy who did the ''Bawk bawk bawk'' imitation a little ''too'' long? Hard to forget him.
* It's a little like dark humor but, when Kawalsky, Ferretti and the kids are pinned down. Kawalsky goes off trying to be heroic, and Ferretti is ''less than pleased''.
--> '''Ferretti''': Well what are we gonna do!?
--> '''Kawalsky''': ...Cover me.
--> '''Ferretti''': COVER YOU?! KAWALSKY!
* "Hey. [[PreMortemOneLiner How ya doin'?]] Hmm?" *winkBANG*
* After drinking an offering, Daniel offers the village chief Kasuf a 5th Avenue bar in return; Kasuf finds it quite delicious.
* Whether or not you see what's coming, there's the moment where both Jackson and O'Neil look at [[ChekhovsGun the teleporter, the controller on Anubis, and O'Neil's nuke,]] and both say "I've got an idea."
* Skaara imitating O'Neil smoking the cigarette. He gets a look of utter panic across his face as he starts coughing, frantically shouts as he stomps out the cigarette on the floor, and shoots O'Neil a look of bewildered disgust.
** It's even better the way O'Neil baits Skaara by inhaling the smoke rather than breathing it out, knowing that Skaara wouldn't be able to do the same.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Stargate: The Ark of Truth]]
''[[Film/StargateTheArkOfTruth Stargate: The Ark of Truth]]''

* Cameron sits in command chair on board the ''Odyssey'' and, as bombastically as possible, commands:
-->'''Mitchell:''' [[Franchise/StarTrek Weapons to maximum.]]
-->'''Marks:''' Sir?
-->'''Mitchell:''' It's a joke Marks, (''waves hand motioning forward'') make it go.
* Mitchell shoots what he thinks is the only Replicator, only to hear more coming around the corner...
-->'''Mitchell:''' [[OhCrap Oh shit!]]
* It's hilarious when Vala gets all nervous after being "[[NotWhatItLooksLike caught]]" with Tomin by Daniel. The look on her face is priceless.
* Even in the midst of mortal danger, Tomin and Vala still take the time to mention their extramarital issues.
--> '''Tomin''': We are still married.
--> '''Vala''': We'll talk about that later.
* Even when Marrick is the victim of [[spoiler: [[FateWorseThanDeath the Replicators]], [[KarmicDeath it was all his own fault of course]].]] Mitchell can't help but tell him how much of an ass he is.
-->'''Mitchell:''' Who am I kidding? I knew you were an asshole the moment we met.
* How else do you end an action-packed "Stargate" movie?... With [[CallBack macaroons]], ''naturally''.
* The team's idle banter, [[spoiler: now that the Ori crisis is put to rest]] as they get ready to [[OnceAnEpisode walk through the gate]] to their next mission.
--> '''Mitchell''': It's kind of weird [[spoiler: not having a big bad guy to fight anymore]].
--> '''Carter''': Yeah, that's how we felt when we defeated the Goa'uld. And The Replicators. The first time...
--> '''Mitchell''': Well Jackson and Vala took care of that.
--> '''Vala''': That whole Ori thing was not our fault!
--> '''Daniel''': Just take the blame. You get used to it.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Stargate: Continuum]]
''Film/StargateContinuum''

* Despite being reduced to a minor cameo role, O'Neill is still as funny as ever.
-->'''Jack:''' That is why we've come all this way. Why we had to endure all that "singing". Get rid of the last bad guy, then there's... cake.
* Three hours into the extraction ceremony...
-->'''Jack:''' Never, in the history of boredom, has anyone been as bored as I am, right now.
* Then discussing Vala's disappearance.
-->'''Jack:''' Oh for cryin' out loud. She prob'ly just went to the bathroom. I'm next in line, by the way.
* In the middle of the frustration of explaining their timeline to the alternate timeline's military, Carter and Mitchell [[SkewedPriorities take a moment to be indignant]] that the alternate timeline plans to put the '''[[InterserviceRivalry Navy]]''' in charge of their Stargate program.
* Alternate Teal'c and Ba'al are very funny.
-->'''Teal'c:''' My Lord! Shall I enact your final instructions?\\
'''Ba'al:''' No, you idiot, save me!
* Daniel speaks desperately in Russian over the radio.
-->'''Mitchell:''' What the hell did you just say?\\
'''Daniel:''' We're Americans, please shoot the people chasing us!
* The sheer mundanity of Ba'al's plan is kind of funny. When his Alkesh first show up as scouts, General Hammond reports to the president that they're trying to hail them on every frequency, and not getting any response. Then, when Ba'al himself shows up, Ba'al just pulls out a device he's kept in stasis for just such an occasion:
-->'''President Hayes''': What do you mean he's ''on the phone''?
** Ba'al then notes that he was wondering if he'd ever get through the "gauntlet of minions" on the line, leaving audiences to imagine the presumably awkward conversation he must have had with whoever was manning the White House switchboard.
** Then, after Quetesh's sudden but inevitable betrayal causes Ba'al to cut the call short, there's a cut back to Hayes, who can only respond with a confused, "... He hung up on me." One gets the sense he's thinking, "This alien invasion is really not going how I expected."
* Ba'al's entire expression at the end as he walks through the gate, all smug and assured. Realizes his Jaffas are dead, gets shot in the head by Mitchell, and then spends the last moments of his life with a ludicrously confused expression wondering what's happening and how is a member of SG-1 ''waiting for him''.
[[/folder]]

* Another from that episode, when Zelenka records a video message enthusiastically recapping the rising of Atlantis in unsubtitled Czech. When he's finished, the cameraman asks, "You didn't say anything that would require security clearance, did you?"
-->'''Zelenka:''' [[OhCrap Security clearance?]]

* Also, "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yDmPwP26SA You shot me!]]"
-->'''Sheppard:''' Yes, and I said I was sorry.\\
'''Ronon:''' He shot me too.\\
'''Sheppard:''' I'm sorry for shooting everyone!
* Or when they're experimenting with the personal shield in season one.

* Hermiod.
** The dialogue between Sheppard, [=McKay=], and the passive-aggressive Asgard in the episode "Intruder". Sheppard's clear unease around Hermiod, and especially the delivery of "Is he supposed to be naked like that?!" are especially lol-worthy.

** He has several hilarious lines like "yay" in perfect deadpan, the famous "Crap, indeed." or his sassing of Kavanaugh: "Stop talking, please. Thank you."

'''[=McKay=]:''' It's a... brisk walk away.\\

* "Meredith?"
* From "Sateda":

'''Carson:''' You have an arrow, Rodney. In your gluteous maximus.\\
'''[=McKay=]:''' Oh. Well, that sounds painful. ''(dopily muttering to himself)'' Gluteous... maximus. Glooteeous, maxi-- ''(with mild, drowsy surprise)'' Oh my god! That's my ass, isn't it?\\

* Same episode, after Woolsey asks another string of questions, and Jack finally points out that he's been sitting right ''next to'' Woolsey the whole time, so how does Woolsey expect ''him'' to know any more than he does?

* Pretty much that entire episode counts.

* [=McKay=] to [[PlutoIsExpendable Neil deGrasse Tyson]]: "Hey, at least I didn't declassify Pluto from planet status. Way to make all the little kids cry, Neil. That make you feel like a big man?" [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Me3-r5rsUSI SO. GOOD.]]
* Harmony steals Shephard's chocolate, blames Rodney and pretends to cry.
* Sheppard: "Operation 'This Will Most Likely End Badly' is a go."

* In the early fourth season, Dr. Weir invades the Replicator HiveMind, only she had been the one to initiate the MindProbe (she was part Replicator at this point) and tricked the Replicators into thinking that they had won over her while she was, in fact, still in control.
* "First I need something I can heal." Dr. Keller, moments before she shoots a guy in the leg just to get some measure of revenge without violating her oath.
** Except that one of the principles of medical ethics is nonmaleficience. Granted, it isn't stated in the Hippocratic Oath, but still, while this troper won't deny it was a [=CMoA=] it also had a touch of Values Dissonance for her.
* "Be All My Sins Remember'd" is more like a Crowning ''Episode'' Of Awesome, as it revolves around the ridiculously powerful Asgard beam weapons, capable of destroying '''Ancient''' warships in a matter of '''seconds''', the biggest spacefight ever in the entire Stargate Verse, and the elimination of the Asurans.
** A somewhat more downplayed moment, but prior to that, the private confrontation Carter has with Colonel Ellis after the mission briefing over his blatantly disrespectful attitude toward [=McKay=]. Carter may have made her place in the universe through a combination of scientific ass-pullery and sheer asskicking, but with mere words she managed to put an ass in his place.
* Surprisingly, Richard Woolsey was given one, calmly telling disembodied Replicators to go ahead and destroy Atlantis because they'll doom themselves if they do.
* "The Return, Part 2": Sheppard takes the puddle jumper through the Stargate of the Replicator-controlled Atlantis... and while the Replicators are firing at the ship's shields, he escapes by piloting the ship backwards and ''smashing the wall behind the Stargate''. Also, [=McKay's=] master plan that took down the Replicators when all seemed lost, even if it was presented via an UnspokenPlanGuarantee.
* Have we forgotten our good friend, Todd the Wraith? His first fight scenes with the Genii troopers was distilled awesome, to say nothing of the subversion of his AlwaysChaoticEvil designation that followed.
** Oh, and this:
--->'''Sheppard:''' [About the Wraith Conference chamber's amenities] Fruit bowl - nice touch.
--->'''Todd:''' Well, we picked them up on our travels; I thought it would make our discussions more comfortable. I hope they prove as delicious as the farmers who grew them.
--->[A faint pause as everyone does their best to look away from the fruit bowl.]
** And in the same episode, when Todd is about to help transform Teyla into a Wraith Queen:
--->'''Todd:''' Can I help you?
--->'''Ronon:''' If '''anything''' happens to her... there won't be anywhere in the galaxy you can hide.
--->'''Todd:''' [Without dropping his smile] Is that all?
--->[He marches past Ronon and into the infirmary where Teyla is being prepared for surgery.]
--->'''Todd:''' [Cheerily] How's my patient?
** Let's face it, Todd is a walking Crowning Moment in his own right.
* Season 4, episode 1. Twenty-or-so Jumpers clearing a path for a city-ship in an asteroid belt, most of the pilots rookies. They even succeed (mostly).
** This starts with an epic shot of the Jumpers screaming up out of the launch bay.
* In the fifth-season episode "Outsiders", normally unassuming (but well-loved) Dr. Carson Beckett gets one. Having been captured along with Dr. [=McKay=] by the Wraith, told to find an antidote for a drug that makes humans immune to Wraith feeding in order for the population of the planet he got snatched off of to be spared, and discovering that he himself is infected with it, he ''provokes the boss Wraith into feeding off him'', which kills it dead. BAD. FREAKING. ASS.
* In the episode "Search and Rescue," Shepherd's team has infiltrated one of Michael's ships in order to rescue Teyla. During the action, the ''Daedalus'' shows up, and the two ships start exchanging fire. Once Col. Caldwell gets word that the rescue was a success, he turns to his gunner and, in a very weary, bored tone, says, "Major Marks, please make that ship go away." About three seconds later, it's space dust.
** Earlier in that episode, Teyla gives birth on a Hive Ship and [=McKay=] helps her. Definitely awesome.
* In the finale "Enemy At The Gate", we have the City Ship of Atlantis over Earth firing off drones, though you could say this was a Carson Beckett [=CMoA=] as he was in the control chair.
** Woolsey gets one, too. Atlantis only has enough power to do one of two things: fly or shoot. It's being pushed into the atmosphere by the force of the Wraith weapons, and is going to fall to the planet without moving. Which of these two things does Woolsey want done? The shooting.
* The fourth season episode "Midway", wherein two [[OneManArmy one man armies]], namely Teal'c and Ronon, get together, beat each other up, and then turn around and start mopping floors with a Wraith strike force. Keep in mind, Col. Sheppard and his team had a tough time taking on the Wraith who were guarding Midway. Teal'c and Ronon cleaned out the SGC '''by themselves'''. Made. Of. WIN!
** From the same episode: Teal'c sees Ronon's blaster in action. After the firefight, he stares at it in awe, and says "I greatly desire a weapon such as this." Ronon's only response: "Get in line." As plothole ridden as the episode may be, it's full of Crowning Moments for ''Stargate'''s two resident warriors.
* The [=McKay=]/Carter Intergalactic Gate Bridge is all kinds of awesome in and of itself when one thinks about it.
* "Vegas." From beginning to end, this episode was a parody of awesome.
* The Genii invasion of Atlantis in "The Storm" and "The Eye", in which Sheppard goes [[Film/DieHard John McClane]] and [[TeleFrag TeleFrags]] most of the invasion force with a press of a button, and then hunts down the rest one by one.
-->'''Dr. Beckett''': ''(looking at a life-signs detector)'' These dots don't tell us much about who's who. How do we tell which one's the Major?\\
'''Lt. Ford''': He'll be the dot making the other dots go away.
* In "The Storm", when Sheppard goes to activate the final relay, senses a Genii ambush, then promptly massacres the ambushers. Bonus points for calmly picking up a communicator and telling Kolya how what he just did was bad on so many levels.
-->'''Sheppard''': Let me tell you what you did wrong, Kolya. A) You lost two more men. B) Your men damaged the switch before I could separate the grounding rods, for which I'm sure you're gonna get an earful from [=McKay=]. and C), you just lost whatever credibility you had with me!
* In the episode "First Strike", the SGC discovers that the Asuran Replicators are building a fleet of warships with which to attack Earth. Rather than mess around with covert sabotage ops or negotiations or quests for ancient alien superweapons, an Earth-built starship is sent out to use an Earth-built weapon system (codenamed "Horizon", basically a MIRV carrying six 230 ''gigaton'' bombs and a bunch of decoys) to blow an entire continent off of the Asuran homeworld. See it [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFlSIhyPb1k here]]. This is particularly impressive considering that a decade earlier Earth had basically the same capabilities as current-day real life and now they're laying the smackdown against extragalactic targets that have (literally) near-godlike technology.
** The impact is somewhat lessened when the Asurans recover pretty dang quick and make them pay for the attempt. This is rectified by the middle of the next season, and it was a pretty impressive show of force and how far things had come, but still.
** I nominate that sequence for Crowning Music of Awesome
* Rodney [=McKay=], the man who spent two decades inventing a new kind of math and creating a AI hologram of himself in Atlantis all so he could send Sheppard back to change the past.
** In the same episode, his montage about how everyone died at least gave some of the characters epic sendouts.
*** Ronan forms a peasant army a la ''Film/{{Dragonheart}}'' and starts kicking Wraith ass. During one mission, he unexpectedly teams up with Todd to blow things up. Cue BackToBackBadasses as they kill everything in sight, then draw their knives on each other at the climax ("force of habit"). Bonus points for Todd having managed to go for a kill-stab on Ronon just as quickly. Then they're pinned down again, so they blow themselves up with the building.
*** Sam getting her own ship and blowing up hive after hive. When she's lured into an inescapable ambush, she takes the three hives doing the ambush down with her.
* [=McKay=] built a replicator that destroyed all the replicators on Asuras and in orbit. Then detonated the planet.
* What about Zelenka? Apparently this troper was the only one impressed by the fact that not only was he the one person on Atlantis who evaded capture in Tabula Rasa, he ''took out a marine''.
** He didn't just take out one Marine. After we hear that he knocked out of one of Lorne's men, we see him again with a stunner. Either someone left their stunner just lying about, or he knocked out another marine and nicked it.
** He also single handedly saved Atlantis in Quarantine.
* "The Siege, Part 2". The Wraith hit Atlantis with a massive formation of darts, and we reply with a massive amount of [[MoreDakka dakka]].
** Also in "The Siege, Part 2". Weir is held hostage by the Genii, and manages to negotiate not only her own freedom, but two nuclear bombs as well. While she's blindfolded & bound to a chair.
* Who can forget Sheppard's final takedown of Kolya? Kolya goes through all this trouble to capture the team, using them to blackmail Sheppard into an [[ShowdownAtHighNoon old-west-style showdown]], and after a tense staring contest between the two (implying the [[FinalBattle epic battle to come]]), Sheppard gets the drop on him hands down, blowing him away in less time than it takes to type this.
* The ''Daedalus'''s entrance during the Wraith Siege of Atlantis. It's made aware early on that it's on its way to the Pegasus Galaxy and will be there in a while. Come next episode, it blows its way onto the scene by destroying at least three hive ships and managing to make it down to the planet through an entire fleet of more.
* In The Kindred Part 1, Teyla is interrogating a guy about the whereabouts of her people, including the father of her unborn child, who had been kidnapped by Michael. The guy thinks it's hilarious that he's being threatened by this heavily pregnant woman. She proceeds to kick him across the room and into the wall.
* Weir vs. Landry & Caldwell in "The Intruder." Weir wins.
* The scene in "Critical Mass" where it's just been revealed that Col. Caldwell has been taken over by a Goa'uld. He's beamed into a conference room with Dr. Weir, Sheppard and Ronon. The following exchange occurs:
-->'''Caldwell (controlled by a Goa'uld)''': I should warn you, as a Goa'uld, I now possess the strength of many men. [Caldwell's eyes glow]
-->'''Ronon''': It won't be a fair fight then... [proceeds to take down Caldwell very quickly, then tosses his ass ''across the table'', where he gets tasered by Sheppard]
* Teyla uses her Wraith-psychic ability to pilot a hiveship. Considering that her abilities prior to that were mostly limited to being Wraith-radar, this is pretty badass.
* For a RedShirt who doesn't last 5 minutes, Griffin from "Grace Under Pressure" gets an incredible DyingMomentOfAwesome. When the window of the sinking Jumper starts to crack from the pressure, without even thinking about it, he pushes Rodney into the rear compartment and seals the hatch, seconds before the cockpit floods.
* In "Rising", the [[TheReveal revelation]] that the Athosians are ''not'' the primitive society they initially appeared to be, but actually TheRemnant of an [[LowCultureHighTech advanced society]] that has been repeatedly bombed back into the stone-age by the Wraith.
* If there was ever any doubt as to why Ronon was made a Runner, we see why in "Sateda" as he makes the Wraith Hunters pay in blood for every step they take.

* Eli's running commentary of the ApocalypticLog in "Time", but particularly:
-->''(in the video, Rush runs off during a fire fight with alien creatures)''\\
'''Video!Eli:''' Where are you going! You're crazy! He's crazy!\\
''(cut back to the crew watching the video)''\\
'''Eli''': ''(turns to Rush)'' You are!\\
'''Rush:''' ''(shrugs)''

-->'''Scott:''' Telford? Sir?\\
'''Telford:''' O__O\\
'''Scott:''' Sir? Sir?\\
'''Telford:''' *blink*
* In "Divided", the communication stones are used to bring a doctor from Earth. She becomes increasingly mortified by the weird conditions on the ship (alien venom as an anesthetic, a makeshift fiber optic camera made from a hovering camera ball, and the fact that the ship is being attacked). T.J. simply responds, "Welcome to ''Destiny''." Hmm, that has a [[Literature/{{Everworld}} certain ring to it]].

-->'''Eli:''' Say something archaeological.\\
'''Chloe:''' Stratification!\\
'''Eli:''' That's good.\\
'''Chloe:''' Thank you.

* Later on, Eli claims that he called Greer out for being afraid as a joke. Because he thought that they were on that level in their relationship.
-->'''Greer:''' I'm going to stay up here and cover your backs.\\
'''Eli:''' What are you, scared? ''(Greer gives him a stare)'' That was a joke. I'm sorry, I must have mistakenly thought we were on that level now. You know, friends who can kid each other like that? ''(Greer removes shades and switches to a full blown death stare)'' Please don't kill me?
* Same episode, when the away team have to call in a rescue team due to the aftermath of [[spoiler:a spider attack]], and having to explain it to Young.
-->'''Scott:''' [[spoiler:It was a sizable spider, sir.]]

-->'''Telford:''' What makes us so special?\\
'''O'Neill:''' I know what makes ''me'' special.

-->'''TJ:''' We don't even know if it's poisonous!\\
'''Greer:''' ''(deadpan)'' We will.
* Greer vs. Alien Wildlife. "Is it something we can barbecue?" Then again, in "The Hunt": Greer and Varro are carrying a wounded corporal back to the gate. They suddenly see a "space deer". Next scene: "Becker's Barbecue" on Destiny.
* Eli and Young's exchange about the returning crew members' explanation in "Visitation".
-->'''Eli:''' "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." -- Arthur C. Clarke\\
'''Young:''' "Turn the mic back on." -- Winston Churchill
* Apparently, Young starts to get how to make Eli understand what he wants (from "Resurgence"):
-->'''Young:''' ''(about how Eli should send a signal to an alien ship)'' Ancient, English, Bat-Signal, and whatever else you've got.
* Volker on seeing the alien ship in "The Greater Good":
-->'''Volker:''' ''(deadpan)'' New friends. Yay.
* In a later episode, when Rush dryly comments on their status, Brody joins in:
-->'''Rush:''' Well at least we have a full tank of gas.\\
'''Volker & Brody:''' ''(sarcastically, in unison)'' Yaaaay.

-->'''Eli:''' And this room is... ''(looks around in confusion)'' I don't think I've been in here before... ''(wanders off camera)''

-->'''Scott:''' ''(about running two miles)'' I can do it under 23 minutes.\\
'''Eli:''' Really? Funny, because there's a protein bar here that says you can't.\\
''(Scott runs off, everyone goes back to watching ''South Park'')''

-->'''Rush:''' You've come a long way from the slacker gamer I met one year ago.\\
'''Eli:''' ... You've been pretty consistent.
* Pretty much the entirety of "Common Descent" and "Epilogue," at least the parts that weren't [[SugarWiki/HeartwarmingMoments Crowning Moments Of Heartwarming]].
-->'''Volker:''' What's Rush's country called? ''Rushia?''\\
'''Eli:''' ... Futura.\\
'''Volker:''' ...what the hell kind of name is Futura?\\
'''Brody:''' What's wrong with Futura?\\
'''Eli:''' Well, they say that you ''(indicates Brody)'' came up with it.
* When everyone realizes where Yaozu's little words of wisdom come from.
-->'''Yaozu:''' "It is easier to know where you are going if you know where you have been." -- Eli Wallace.\\
'''Everyone Else:''' ''(awkward silence)''
* More Futura humor.
-->'''Volker:''' Maybe ''Futura'' helped.\\
'''Park:''' Isn't that a font?\\
'''Brody:''' Will you shut up about the name?
* The PairTheSpares moment.
-->'''Eli:''' Me and... Private Barnes?\\
'''Chloe:''' You know... if you want to pursue that?
* One of the last Kino recordings is of Brody... complaining.
-->'''Brody:''' [[GrumpyOldMan All these kids... running around, dancing. Always dancing. Tearing up my lawn! When I was a kid, people had respect]]-- ''(recording shuts off)''

-->'''O'Neil:''' I don't suppose the word "dweeb" means anything to you people...
* "He's inviting us to go with him." "How do you know that?" "Because he's ''(gestures)'' inviting us to go with him."

''[[Film/TheArkOfTruth Stargate: The Ark of Truth]]''

* Ba'al's entire expression at the end as he walks through the gate, all smug and assured. Realizes his Jaffas are dead, gets shot in the head by Mitchell, and then spends the last moments of his life with a ludicrously confused expression wondering what's happening and how is member of SG-1 ''waiting for him''.

* I thought it was hilarious when Vala gets all nervous after being ''caught'' with Tomin by Daniel. The look on her face is priceless!

* How else do you end an action-packed ''Stargate'' movie?... With [[CallBack macaroons]], ''naturally''.

-->'''Bratac''': I can see why one must rehearse these events... ''[[INeedAFreakingDrink [takes long, long drink of the wine]]]''

-->'''Mitchell:''' [[StarTrek Weapons to maximum.]]

** A lot of Cam and Vala's interactions in the episode are funny on a meta level since the two are very much not an item in SG1, but they played characters who were very much in love in ''Series/{{Farscape}}''. This makes Mitchell's repeated vocal declarations that there is nothing going on between the two of them extra funny.

* In the middle of the frustration of explaining their timeline to the alternate timeline's military, Carter and Mitchell take a moment to be indignant that the alternate timeline plans to put the '''Navy''' in charge of their Stargate program.

--->'''Mitchell''': Vala. (beat) It is in ''Kansas''.