Funny / Seven Periods with Mr Gormsby

• When Hohepa saws through the boards of Steve's part of the latrine.
  • The following exchange:
  Steve: In my experience, an arson is a cry for help.
  Mr Gormsby: In my experience, a cry for help is someone crying 'Help!', whereas an arson is someone crying 'Steve is a bastard!'
• In one episode, evidence is found of a student-teacher relationship and the student involved refuses to name the other person. Gormsby, Steve and Dascent ask all the teachers, leading to the following:
  Steve *awkwardly*: Did you have sex with Afioga in the whare nui?
  Ms Tangaroa (the resident lesbian): Oh, get fucked!
• Mr Gormsby's spelling test. It includes words such as 'gonorrhea', 'bastard' and 'buggery'.
• "All right, let's synchronise our watches!" All the boys pull out their phones.
• Mr Gormsby marching Hohepa down the corridor like a soldier before his detention cleaning toilets, ordering him to 'present arms' (i.e. Hohepa's mop) and then yells "Charge!". Hohepa lets out a yell and runs mop-first into the toilets.
• A new student, who has mental problems, nearly runs into Gormsby while pretending to be a Spitfire (yes, the plane). Rather than chewing him out, Gormsby simply tells him that he's imitating them incorrectly and demonstrates how to do it right.
• This line:
  Gormsby: If any boy named Anton, Reuben or Justin wants to be captain of this team, he'd better change his name by deed poll to Colin, Brian or Laurie.
  Miracle: What about Miracle?
  Gormsby: Or Miracle.
• The teachers have a discussion about banning porn on the school computers, which results in a ban that excepts... basically every kind of porn in existence, thanks to everyone objecting on various ridiculous grounds. And then we get this:
  Dascent: But we draw the line at obscenity.
  Ms Partington: Well, how do you define obscenity?
  Gormsby: *leans over* Anything that gives the judge an erection.