History Funny / ReservoirDogs

--> '''Joe''': So, you guys like to tell jokes and giggle and kid around, huh? Giggling like a bunch of young broads in the schoolyard. Well, let ''me'' tell a joke. Five guys sitting in a bullpen in San Quentin, wondering how the fuck they got there. "What did we do wrong? What shoulda we done? What didn't we do? It's your fault, my fault, his fault." All that bullshit. Finally someone comes up with the idea, "Wait a minute, while we were planning this caper, all we did was sit around and tell fuckin' jokes." Got the message? Fellas, I don't mean to holler at you. When this caper's over, and I'm sure it's gonna be a successful one, hell, we'll go down the Hawaiian islands, I'll laugh with all of you. You'll find me a different character there. Right now, it's a matter of business.

--->'''Mr. Pink:''' Why can't we pick our own colours?
---> '''Joe:''' No way. Tried it once, it doesn't work. You got four guys all fighting over who's gonna be Mr. Black, but they don't know each other, so nobody wants to back down. \\

--> '''Mr. Orange:''' What's this?\\

--> '''Mr. Brown:''' Let me tell you what "Like A Virgin" is about. It's all about this cooze who's a regular fuck machine. I'm talkin' morning, day, night, afternoon… Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.\\

--> '''Eddie:''' None of you know what happened to Mr. Blue?\\
'''Mr. Blonde:''' [[CaptainObvious Either he's alive or he's dead, or the cops got him, or they don't.]]
-->''(Eddie gives him a DeathGlare.)''

--> '''Eddie:''' If you beat this prick hard enough, he’ll tell you he started the goddamn Chicago Fire. Now that don’t necessarily MAKE IT FUCKING SO!

'''Mr. White:''' Just cops.\\
* This non-sequiter:

-->''[Eddie gives him a DeathGlare]''
* “If you beat this prick hard enough, he’ll tell you he started the goddamn Chicago Fire. Now that don’t necessarily MAKE IT FUCKING SO!”

'''Mr. White:''' I'm hungry, let's get a taco.

[Mr. White explains to Mr. Orange the art of shaking down people in a jewelry store, including {{Fingore}}.]

* Mr. White saying "You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize."

'''Mr. Pink:''' ''(loud crashing noise from off-screen)'' All right, I'm cool.

'''Joe:''' All you guys got the goddamn message?... I'm so goddamn mad, hollering at you guys I can barely talk.
* The look from the cops that Mr. Orange gets while he's drying his hands in the bathroom during the "Commode Story."
* Mr. Orange practicing the story in his room: "'Hey, Freddy--' (EHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!) 'Hey... dude...'"

* Mr. Pink beats the cop so hard he hurts his hand.

* Mr. White explains to Mr. Orange the art of shaking down people in a jewelry store, including {{Fingore}}; after he's done, he follows up with, "I'm hungry, let's get a taco."
* '''Mr. White:''' "You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize."

'''Mr. Orange:''' *looks at his bullet wound and bangs his head on the floor* ''Shit!''\\

'''Mr. Pink:''' ''(Loud crashing noise from off-screen)'' All right, I'm cool.

-->"How would you feel if every time you had to take a piss you had to do a fuckin' hand stand?"

'''Mr. Blonde:''' [[CaptainObvious Either he's alive or he's dead, or the cops got him or they don't.]]
-->''Eddie gives him a DeathGlare''

-->''Eddie gives him a DeathGlare''

** Also:
--->'''Mr. Brown:''' Yeah, but "Mr. Brown"? That's a little too close to "Mr. Shit".
--->'''Mr. Pink:''' Sounds like "Mr. Pussy".

** "All those cops are ''looking'' at me — and they ''know'', man, they can ''smell'' it!"

'''Mr. Pink:''' No real people?\\
'''Mr. White:''' Just cops.

** "All those cops are ''looking'' at me--and they ''know'', man, they can ''smell'' it!"

--> '''Mr. Brown:''' Let me tell you what "Like A Virgin" is about. It's all about this cooze who's a regular fuck machine. I'm talkin' morning, day, night, afternoon... Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.\\

* Mr White: "You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize."
* When "Nice Guy" Eddie talks about "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia", Mr Pink moves to take a sip from his cup before realising it's empty. He then looks for the waitress.

---> '''Joe:''' Tried it once, doesn't work. You got four guys all fighting over who's gonna be Mr. Black, but they don't know each other, so nobody wants to back down. \\

-->'''Mr. Pink:''' Whoa, why am I Mr. Pink?\\

--->'''Mr. Brown:''' Yeah, yeah, but "Mr. Brown"? That's a little too close to "Mr. Shit."

* When rhe guys are discussing what could have happened to Mr. Blue.

--> '''Eddie''' None of you know what happened to Mr. Blue?\\
'''Mr. Blonde''' [[CaptainObvious Either he's alive or he's dead, or the cops got him or they don't]]

''Eddie gives him a DeathGlare''

'''Eddie gives him a DeathGlare'''

--> '''Eddie''' None of you know what happened to Mr. Blue?

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