History Funny / ProJared

* The [[RunningGag running gag]] with the main character's shrugging animation, which Jared thinks looks like an Italian used car salesman trying to convince someone to buy a car.

* Jared gives a bit of trivia. Namely, how Sephiroth used to be voiced by a member of Music/NSync. He even gives a NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer.[[note]]Specifically, his dub actor in the original ''VideoGame/KingdomHearts1'' was Lance Bass.[[/note]]

* Jared gives a bit of trivia. Namely, how Sephiroth used to be voiced by a member of Music/NSync. He even gives a NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer.[[note]]Specifically, his dub actor in the original ''VideoGame/KingdomHearts'' was Lance Bass.[[/note]]

* He gives a well-thought review of the game that ends on a high note... which would've been a good spot to end the video ''if'' he didn't discuss the dismal 1.0 version. He turns to the camera, holding up his copy of the Legacy version, then it cuts to in-game footage backed with a StylisticSuck soundtrack.

* [[Platform/Xbox360 Kinect]] - [[TheyCopiedItSoItSucks EyeToy]]/10

* At the end of the review, Jared reads a section of the game's ant glossary that encourages the player to go outside and observe ants. Jared does just that. [[spoiler: And by that, we mean that [[ComedicSociopathy he goes out and sprays the ground with bug spray and aims a magnifying glass at the ants.]]]]
-->'''Jared''': [[spoiler:DIE, YOU LITTLE BASTARDS, DIIIIIIIIE!!!]]

* For his review, he does an experiment where he cares for one of his Tamagotchi normally, overfeeds one of his Tamagotchi, and completely neglects the last one. What does he name the one he neglects? [[spoiler:[[WebVideo/PeanutButterGamer PBG]]]].

** On top of that, [[spoiler:PBG wasn't the first to die!]]

* [=JumJum=], the sole surviving Tamagotchi, ends up evolving into Nyorotchi - one of the worst possible characters that vaguely resembles a wriggling sperm. Then Jared accidentally [[spoiler:sends him to space.]]
--> '''Jared''': [[spoiler:I shot a sperm into space!]]

* During the pit-fighting sequence, Jared takes a moment to congratulate the developers for making [[SarcasmMode one good level]], [[BlatantLies with four mini-boss enemies with varied AI patterns and a deep combat system that requires planning and finesse to make the most of]]. [[spoiler:The footage is just Jared spamming a forward lunging kick that stunlocks every single enemy in the game. In fact, that's how he does basically ''all'' melee combat sequences, it's absolutely hilarious how effective it is and how stupid it looks.]]
** Jared ''does'' give the sequence some proper praise when the boss, Meathook, switches things up with a spiked bat. [[spoiler:[[DoubleSubversion Cue Jared spamming the kick just like before.]]]]

* In his ''VideoGame/ZeldaIITheAdventureOfLink'' review, he [[CallBack retells the tale of his brother's NES games]] and shows him sneaking around, wrapped up in a blanket. The scene then cuts to him reaching for the Zelda II cartridge [[spoiler: [[BaitAndSwitch and then smacking it away to reveal a Hydlide cartridge, which he takes instead.]]]] It then cuts back to a grumpy Jared.

* The ending. [[spoiler:Fed up with being TheChewToy up to eleven during his multiple playthroughs, he finally decides to invoke TakingYouWithMe against his viewers -- via three words: "sexy clown ass" [[note]]A MaleGaze screenshot of Princess Honey from the Good Ending, depicting her in a BridalCarry while wearing a short skirt[[/note]].]] Even better? [[spoiler:Judging by [[AllMenArePerverts most of]] the [[MostGamersAreMale comments]], they evidently see it as a CoolAndUnusualPunishment instead.]]

* The ending to his review, where he gets an idea about what he can do with [[RunningGag the spoon he's been bringing up throughout the video]] and then walks off-camera. [[spoiler: Cue the spoon [[TakeThat being thrown at the copy of Final Fantasy XIII on Jared's shelf, perfectly knocking its case over.]]]]

** But then, at the end, he proudly states that he's mastered the piano! [[spoiler: He plays the first few notes of Megalovania.]]

* When discussing [[spoiler: Aerith's death]], Jared prefaces it by asking if he even ''[[ItWasHisSled needs]]'' to warn about spoilers, considering it's perhaps the most spoiled part of the game, if not the entire series, as everyone knows of it, before just saying "Screw it, spoiler warning."

* From his "Top 5 Games of 2015", he praises VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIV as the game he had the most enjoyment with that year, putting it at Number 1. [[spoiler: Before quickly saying that he lied and that it's Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate. It's much like his One Minute Review of Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate, except only about 10 seconds long..]]

* His ''One Minute Review'' of ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FsrzqJNQF8 SimCity]]'', all [[spoiler:seventeen seconds]] of it.
--> '''Jared''': [[spoiler:''[trying to log in]'' Work... Dammit! Work... Dammit! Work... Dammit! ''[game load glitches]'' Ah, what the hell?! ''[resumes logging in]'' [[OverlyLongGag Work... Dammit! Work... Dammit! Work... Dammit!"]] ''[finally logs in]'' Ah, there we go. ''[game fails to load]'' [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere F*** it, I'm going to bed.]]]]

--> '''Jared''': ''(slurred and over footage of Sonic's jog-like speed and the game's many ''[[ObviousBeta many]]'' glitches]'' Blue streak, speeds by. Sonic the Hedgehog. Too fast, for the naked eye. Ssssssssonic the Hedgehog. [[MemeticMutation Sanic]], he can really move. Sanic, he's got an attitude. [[MemeticMutation Dankey Kang]], he's the fastest thing alive. He's the fastest thing Ali-ahveugh. He's the fastest thing, alighiavehhave! [[spoiler: [[MoodWhiplash It has bounce pads. 2/10!]]]]

* The "CoupDeGrace" story, where Jared shares one of his most embarrassing deaths thanks to the titular mechanic from ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragonsThirdEdition'': [[spoiler:[[ItMakesSenseInContext being killed by a fake warthog after falling asleep.]]]]

** [[spoiler:[[http://youtu.be/a2kIB7hp7VU?t=5m22s You'll]] never take my seal powers, Megaman!]]

** At one point he sees [[spoiler: Eveline]] and says
---> '''Jared''': Hey [[spoiler: little girl]], let me come help you. Just a second. ''[loads gun]''. Okay, let me come help.

* ''Zelda: Link to the Past'' Randomized (a hack where every treasure location is scrambled before the game starts): In Part 2, Jared buys the Bottle from the salesman in Kakariko Village... which is changed to [[spoiler:100 rupees. The Bottle ''costs'' 100 rupees.]] His head drops.

** A FreezeFrameBonus also reveals what else Jared has on his emulator. [[spoiler: It's {{Hentai}}.]]

** By the finale, [[spoiler:Jared hasn't made a joke in quite a while after the game's turn towards metafictional horror... until Yuri's psychotic love confession, of all places. The sheer MoodWhiplash after two or three hours of grim seriousness makes the small joke go from silly to hilarious.]]
--->[[spoiler:'''Yuri''': I love you so much that I even touch myself with the pen I stole from you.]]
--->[[spoiler:'''Jared''': .............. ''Nice.'']]
--->[[spoiler:'''Yuri''': I just want to pull your skin open and crawl inside of you.]]
--->[[spoiler:'''Jared''': And you always make it ''immediately'' weird!]]

* His constant belittling of Nolan, one of his first and hard-working[[note]](due to Jared constantly forgetting to give him vacations)[[/note]] employees, in his ''VideoGame/GameDevTycoon'' play-through. The jokes at Nolan's expense ultimately culminate into [[spoiler:Jared ''firing'' him at the end of the final episode, before turning to the camera with a deranged smile. Ms. Editor is in utter shock by this turn of events, rewinding time so the video can end just before Nolan's final moments.]]

** When a member of the cult kills [[spoiler:Beatrice]]:

* [[UsefulNotes/Playstation3 PlayStation Move]] - [[FollowTheLeader Wii]]/10
* [[UsefulNotes/Xbox360 Kinect]] - [[TheyCopiedItSoItSucks EyeToy]]/10

* VideoGame/{{Hydlide}} -Bee Sting/10

* Franchise/StarWars: Shadows of the Empire - [[HypeBacklash IG-88]]/10

* Near the end, when Aki tries to convince Hein tha the Phantoms aren't really evil and Hein shows his skepticism, Jared flips out.

* He immediately points out the missed opportunity to spell the whole title with K's in place of the C's. Therefore, he introduces it as [[AddedAlliterativeAppeal Kid Klown in Krazy]] [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers Khase]].

* Jared says how the game being rated M was a big deal back then. Blood and gore... "[[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers Maybe I'll see a boobie!]]"

* VideoGame/{{Hydlide}} - [[DarthWiki/SoBadItsHorrible Bee Sting]]/10

* Worst Console Ever - [[DarthWiki/SoBadItsHorrible Broken Marriage]]/10

--> '''Jared''': ''(slurred and over footage of Sonic's jog-like speed and the game's [[ObviousBeta many]] ''[[ObviousBeta many]]'' glitches]'' Blue streak, speeds by. Sonic the Hedgehog. Too fast, for the naked eye. Ssssssssonic the Hedgehog. [[MemeticMutation Sanic]], he can really move. Sanic, he's got an attitude. [[MemeticMutation Dankey Kang]], he's the fastest thing alive. He's the fastest thing Ali-ahveugh. He's the fastest thing, alighiavehhave! [[spoiler: [[MoodWhiplash It has bounce pads. 2/10!]]]]

* Jared gives a bit of trivia. Namely, how Sephiroth used to be voiced by a member of Music/NSync. He even gives a NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer.

* [[VideoGame/{{Bonk}} Super Bonk]] - [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs Birthday clown tripping on acid]]/10

* The "Coup De Grace" story, where Jared shares one of his most embarrassing deaths: [[spoiler:[[ItMakesSenseInContext being killed by a fake warthog after falling asleep.]]]]
* What do you get when a normally bad dice-roller gets a natural 20 on a bald-faced and utterly ridiculous bluff check? You get a recurring NPC named [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPWB93CVQ0E Commander Boogerface]], that's what.
* So Jared and his DM brother tried to get a newcomer into D&D with a short campaign, telling newcomer to "be a Fighter, grab your sword, and just hit things and kill things and protect the rest of us," complete with a premade sheet that had 18 Strength. Newcomer eventually comes to realize that his high Strength score means he could break all sorts of things to solve a lot of things, leading to the RunningGag of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61mZKfrWkJk "Is it made of wood?"]]

* Jared's custom-drawn timeline chart for the game includes [[VideoGame/ChronoTrigger the Day of Lavos]], "Ice Age ([[TakeThat not]] [[WesternAnimation/IceAge1 the movie]])" and [[BadFuture "Enslavement of Humanity"]].

* Jared's custom-drawn timeline for the game includes [[VideoGame/ChronoTrigger the Day of Lavos]] and [[BadFuture "Humanity Enslaved"]].

* The ending. [[spoiler:Fed up with being TheChewToy up to eleven during his multiple playthroughs, he finally decides to invoke TakingYouWithMe against his viewers -- via three words: "sexy clown ass" [[note]]A MaleGaze screenshot of Princess Honey.[[/note]].]] Even better? [[spoiler:Judging by [[AllMenArePerverts the]] [[MostGamersAreMale comments]], most evidently see it as a CoolAndUnusualPunishment instead.]]

* Him showing a montage of his many deaths throughout his playthrough is funny enough as it is. Him setting said death montage to the [[InvincibilityPowerUp Star]] [[Irony powerup]] theme from VideoGame/SuperMarioWorld makes it that much better.

* Him showing a montage of his many deaths throughout his playthrough is funny enough as it is. Him setting said death montage to the [[InvincibilityPowerUp Star]] [[Irony power-up]] theme from VideoGame/SuperMarioWorld makes it that much better.

* Him showing a montage of his many deaths throughout his playthrough is funny enough as it is. Him setting said death montage to the [[InvincibilityPowerUp Star]] [[Irony power-up]] theme from VideoGameSuperMarioWorld makes it that much better.