General
"Oh, hallo? Ravolting!"
- Any time Kath says she's got one word to say to Kim, it'll inevitably either be more than one word or something that sounds like gibberish out of context.
- The characters' thick accents, malapropisms and occasional rhyming mean that any random conversation will sound pretty silly.
- Any time Kath and Kel are about to kiss, they always clasp each other's bottoms and open their mouths uncomfortably wide, taking forever to actually close in.
- "Oh, that feels noice, Kel. What do you call that?" "That's my (not what you think)."
- Sharon's animal magnetism, which always leads to her and her current crush aggressively making out.
- Taken to its logical extreme when Sharon sees Brett topless, as she screams while charging at him.
- Any time Sharon slaps Kim.
Series 1
- The Establishing Series Moment:Kim: Oi've left Brett!Kath: Oh. Again.
- "Moy marriage is ovah! O-V-A-H! Ovah!"
- "Oi loike to keep moyself trim, Kim. Does it make moy a crim to keep moyself trim?"
- Kim sends Sharon to spy on Brett so she can see if he's cheating on her. Problem is, Sharon's injury of the week involves an eyepatch, so she mistakes Cujo for Brett's mistress. Kim's not amused considering Sharon told her that the other woman looked a lot like her.
- Then when Kim is looking at Sharon's spy footage, she sees that Brett was unfaithful...with Sharon.
Sharon: So...this is from Brett. (tries to kiss Kim) - Brett begs Kim to come home...because he doesn't know how to use the washing machine. Neither does Kim.
- Kath and Sharon go speed-dating. All the men are instantly attracted to Sharon.
- After Brett cheated on Kim, we get a few moments:
- "Woy did you tell Kim? You didn't need to." Spoken by Kath of all people.
- It was an accident.
Kim: Oh, so you accidentally rooted Koilie Bolton?Brett: And her sister Dani, but I can't remember!- "Kim, I was pissed! Can't you just forget about it? I have."
- "Give me an S! Give me an A! Give me a P-P-H! Give me an I! Give me an R! Give me an eeeeeeeS! WHAT DOES IT SPELL?""Piss off, Sharon."
- Kath and Kel meet with Marion, who encourages them to try exploring each other's bodies while blindfolded. Kel remarks on how it felt like discovering a new woman, to which Marion coyly tells him that he "did get a little bit lost there".
- Kim tells Brett that there are plenty of men who find her attractive. A truck driver then tells her to "move her big fat arse" as she crosses the street.
- Kim narrates about how she's looking great at the moment...while she's got shaving cream on her upper lip.
- Kath suspects Kel might be cheating on her and that he's probably got some blonde draped over him at that very moment. Turns out Kel did have a blonde woman on top of him. His dance instructor. Who had just gone into cardiac arrest.
- Kim's feeling nauseous, so Sharon offers to get her a hotdog. Kim tells her she wants one with extra cheese.
- Kath and Kim go for a facial, which ends with both of them covered in nasty scabs. They then make the insanely unwise decision to have a photo portrait taken minutes later."Oh, Oi thought they'd airbrush out the scabs."''
- Kath hosts a lingerie party, with Kim and Sharon as the models. Kim models something known as "the Sharon Stone".
- Kath pitches a variant on the G-string known as the T-bar. It's a G-sting worn back-to-front.
- Kath's hen's night has both her and Kim go a bit off from some spiked drinks, then they wake up with switched personalities.
- When Kim reverts back, she's wearing oven mitts shaped like bear paws, which causes her to freak out.
- Kel and Brett decide to take it easy on his last night as a free man and just go to a fancy restaurant. Somehow they still managed to wake up the next day handcuffed and near-naked in the middle of Melbourne.
- Kath asks Kim to order a statue of little baby Jesus. Kim wasn't listening at the time, so she instead got an abstract sculpture made out of "little baby cheeses".
- Trude and Prue's debut
- "A little man's coming ovar to talk Jo Jobar." "God, Ah hope he's sobar. Ah've got stacks of Jo Joba left ovar from Octobar."
- "A plunjah in yer bodem's always nars".
- The wedding is full of them.
- Kel gets pre-wedding jitters and has to be calmed down with some wine. He drinks too much by the time Kath arrives, which leads to this moment:
"You came, Kath! You came! LADIES AND JELLYBEANS, YOU ARE LOOKING AT A WINNAH!!!"- Kath walking down the aisle in shoes that have velcro patches on them, meaning everyone can hear a ripping sound as she walks in a very stilted manner.
- Kim manages to arouse a horse, who charges at her while Kath's shoe is stuck to a cactus. The end result is both women are sent to hospital, with Sharon naturally accompanying them.
Series 2
- Kim begs Brett to take her back...because she needs the loo.
- Kath and Kel try to reclaim their youth by getting botox injections, which leave them looking like creepy dolls.
- Kim insists that chardonnay is pronounced "cardonnay". ("It's French. The 'h' is silent.") When everyone tells her that it's definitely pronounced "shardonnay", she gets defensive and calls them all a "pack of shunts".
- Kath and Kel participate in some Irish river-dancing. Kel's libido suddenly plays up at the sight of Kath bouncing around so he pushes her to the floor, jumps on top of her and literally dances horizontally. The crowd cheers (sans Kim and Brett), Sharon and Mark start making out and some children cop an eyeful.
- Kim's pregnancy hormones cause her to act unnervingly cheerful.
- "That's moy husband. In the dress."
- The women all ponder names for Kim's upcoming daughter. They're either weirdly misspelled or just downright ridiculous.
- Kath asks Kel if he's ever considered having a baby. Kel says that since he used to donate sperm, there's probably dozens of Kel jrs. running around. Kath then notices that all the nearby children have Kel's greasy hair and blissful smile.
- Sandy Freckle's blatant come-ons towards Kath are cringe-inducingly funny. You have to wonder what kind of woman would leave her fiancee for this guy.
- Kim tells Sharon that if a man gives her the cold shoulder while flirting with another woman, it means he's actually into her. Sharon remarks that Kim must have heaps of guys who like her then.
- Kath, Kim and Sharon all inhale helium, then Kim's water breaks.
- The memories in the finale:
- Kath reminisces about when she had Kim.
Kath: So small. So quoiet. Looks just like moy.Nurse: Sorry! Wrong baby! (Gives Kath a bigger, crankier baby)Kath: But Oi loved the other one!- Sharon reveals that she used to have a boyfriend in school. He was none other than Brett, with a dated-looking mullet. The relationship crashed as soon as Brett got a look at Kim.
- Kel reminisces about his previous fiancees. The first three looked even goofier than Kath. To say nothing of Sandy Freckle's choice of hairstyles at the time.
- Kim asks Sharon for something healthy, like a piece of fruit. Specifically a Cherry Ripe.
- When Kim is pushing out Epponee Rae, Sharon reassures her that "It's beautiful. It's natural. This is what God wanted". Then she checks out Kim's cervix and..."IT'S HIDEOUS! IT'S UNNNATURAL! GOD'S A BASTARD!"
- The whole series had been hinting that Kim's pregnancy was the result of a one-night stand with an Indian waiter. When everyone sees her child, they're shocked to see how brown it is, with Kim looking more guilty than she's ever looked before. Then the nurse comes in and says they got the wrong one.
Series 3
- Kim tries to get Epponee Rae into showbiz at the ripe old age of a few months old. Starting with a child version of Australian Idol. It goes about as well as you'd expect.
- Sharon catches the eye of a jockey, who has an insanely high-pitched voice.
- Brett's mother Lorraine, who's basically an older, fatter, ruder version of Kim.Lorraine:Your mother didn't come Epponee and do you know why? Because your mother's a bitch, darling."Brett: Cujo sends her love.Lorraine: Yes, well she's a bitch too.
- Then when Lorraine pranks her own son by pretending to have died:
Brett: Why would you do that?!Lorraine: Why? Why would I do that? Because Brett, I'm a bitch! - Kath is participating in a local play based on The Hours. She invites Kel to join in, as the director Mrs. Robinson is "desperate for men". Cue the references to The Graduate.
- The play itself is pretty funny as well, with Virginia Woolf's suicide set to an upbeat musical number and Kel's head popping out from behind a set piece as he says "Virginia Wolf!".
- Kath and Kel are cast in a commercial. First of all, the ad was for adult nappies, which neither of them realised until total strangers talked to them about it. As for the ad itself, their voices were dubbed by a more vocally-pleasing pair of actors.
- The flash-forwards into a possible future, which shows that Kath and Kel's fat-free lifestyles backfired on them (Kel especially), Kim is still living with Kath despite being 50, Brett and Sharon finally got hitched and Epponee Rae is played by Kylie Minogue, who has Kath's frizzy hair and wears a wedding dress that barely covers her lower body.
Da Kath & Kim Code
- Kim tells Kath that Brett's new job makes him sort of like an octopus "spreading his testicles over all departments". Given what Brett gets up to, that statement becomes fairly ironic.
- Kim sits on Santa's lap. He's not too pleased. Then Kath sits on his lap and he cops a feel.
- Later on, Kim overhears Santa going "Ho ho ho!" and takes it as a compliment.
- Brett starts having an affair with his supervisor. He tries texting her "meeting me around the back in 5 minutes", which is mistakenly sent to Kim, who says "How am Oi supposed to get to Fountain Gate in foive minutes?".
- Sharon explains why she's into Shane Warne:Sharon: Well, he's not choosy at all, so I figure I'd be in with a chance. I mean, he pretty much goes for anything on two legs. And I have them.
- "Woy've got the Chicken Tonoight, that woy didn't have today, that woy can have tonoight."
- Kim encourages Sharon to get into Pole dancing. Sharon turns up dressed like a stereotypical Polish girl.
Series 4
- Kel suspects that Eric Bana is trying to steal Kath, so he wrestles him to the ground, with Kath freaking out because Eric Bana has played the Incredible Hulk.OI CAN SEE HIM TURNING GREEN!
- Kim starts experimenting with botox, using Sharon as her test subject. Kath offers to loan Sharon some of her shoulder-padded jackets. Sharon also gets two nasty welts on her neck. The end result is that she looks like Frankentein's monster.
- Kim goes through a racist phase. She goes to the supermarket and finds the Asian woman at the counter is too difficult to understand (despite speaking clear English). Contrast with Kim, who says "Floi-bois".
- Sharon runs out of chocolate right around the time Kim kicks Brett out - forcing him to bunk up with Sharon - and Sharon has been on a three-month dry spell. As soon as Sharon sees Brett with his shirt off, she just loses it.
- The next morning:
Sharon: Kim! It's not what it looks like!Kim: Roilly?! Because it looks loike you were having sex!Sharon: Oh, well in that case, it is what it looks like. - Sharon finally gets engaged to a Shane Warne impersonator (played by the actual Shane Warne).
- Brett asks Wayne if he thinks Brett could be a celebrity impersonator. Wayne says he could be Wallace from Wallace and Gromit. Cue Brett grimacing in disappointment, which causes him to look even more like Wallace.
