Funny / KYTV

  • From the Way Hey, it's Saturday episode: For once the contest is hosted not by Jerk Ass Mike Flex, but by the slightly more generous Mike Channel, who is determined that this time someone is going to win the contest. Unfortunately the three children competing are not the sharpest knives in the drawer and miss the questions even with the unbelievable amount of help Mike gives them:
    Mike: So, Kathy, it's all up to you. What did John Logie Baird invent? And I'll give you a clue: You've got one in your house.
    Kathy: Er... Shower attatchment!
    Mike: Not shower attatchment.
    Kathy: Soap!
    Mike: Not soap.
    Kathy: Towel rail!
    Mike: Not towel rail — get out of the bathroom!
    Kathy: Bath mat.
    Mike: No, ruh — right out, get right out of the bathroom and think a bit!
    Kathy: A loo brush!
    Mike: ... no, no —
    Kathy: Toilet paper!
    Mike: Come out of the toilet, get on the landing!
    Kathy: Carpet!
    Mike: No... now head downstairs!
    Kathy: Stair rail!
    Mike: No, no, no, all the way down...
    Kathy: Ha — hall light?
    Mike: No, no, keep going downstairs.
    Kathy: Loo brush!
    Mike: Wha — now you're back in the toilet again!
    Kathy: We've got a downstairs toilet.
    Mike: Come out of the downstairs toilet, and get into the sitting room.
    Kathy: Door!
    Mike: No.
    Kathy: Doorhandle!
    Mike: No, no, no, move further into the room.
    Kathy: Doorstop!
    Mike: No, further!
    Kathy: A... porcelain horse?
    Mike: Not a porcelain horse!
    Kathy: Aaaaaaa... fun fur cushion!
    Mike: Not a fun fur cushion! It's in the corner of the room, you watch it every evening!
    Kathy: Oooh — a loo brush!
    Mike: (speechless for about five seconds, then:) What's a loo brush doing in the corner of your living room?!
    Kathy: I brought it with me.
    Mike: (through clenched teeth) Something else in the corner of your living room, it has moving pictures; four different channels!
    Kathy: tank!
    Mike: Not a fish tank! So help me God, you're gonna get this, Kathy, even if it takes all night! It's got BBC and ITV, and on it you can see sport, comedy, news, plays, films, Top of the Pops, Doctor Who and Postman Pat! Now, what the hell is it?!
    Kathy: Errr... Toaster!
    Mike: It's a bloody television, for God's sake, you imbecilic —
    Kathy: We don't have a television!