History Funny / JimCornette

* Cornette once "reviewed" {{Wrestling/Wardlow}} vs Wrestling/OrangeCassidy. Cornette [[https://youtu.be/1o5c5Tgncp8?feature=shared&t=284 proceeded to give]] Wardlow the phone numbers of various WWE executives as part of his "advice" to Wardlow.[[note]]And now HilariousInHindsight, since three of the four people who's numbers Cornette gave (Wrestling/VinceMcMahon, Wrestling/JohnLaurinaitis, Bruce Prichard, and Wrestling/JeffJarrett) are now out of WWE, Vince and Johnny Ace were turfed and are currently getting the [[Wrestling/ChrisBenoit Benoit]] [[UnPerson treatment]] thanks to their sex scandal, and Jarrett has since joined Wardlow in the AEW locker room (and Prichard is likely on his way out as well). Unfortunately for Wardlow Cornette doesn't really get along with Wrestling/TripleH or Wrestling/ShawnMichaels and doesn't have their phone numbers.[[/note]]

* The background scenes to many of the videos on Jim's [=YouTube=] page are often hilarious. One of the best is his reaction to Kenny Omega's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JrS48ucA1I speech at a mandatory AEW talent meeting]], where he told the wrestlers that he wouldn't have hired most of them if he were in charge. Jim's dissection of the meeting is funny, but the crowning moment is the scene of the Elite trying to intimidate him while he laughs at their pathetic efforts and Tony Kahn stands by cluelessly.

* Cornette once "reviewed" {{Wrestling/Wardlow}} vs Wrestling/OrangeCassidy. Cornette [[https://youtu.be/1o5c5Tgncp8?feature=shared&t=284 proceeded to give]] Wardlow the phone numbers of various WWE executives as part of his "advice" to Wardlow.

-->And I heard that fucking old antiquated piece of possum shit Jim Herd, from his own fucking thin little chicken lips, excitedly describing how "...and there's gonna be a ships bell in the corner, and when one of the Ding Dongs is in trouble the other one's gonna ring the bell and that's the signal for the people to cheer!" You know it was the old fucking bullhorn from the Kentuckians, days gone by... And they started ringing that bell and the people were like "Fuck you!" They were either laughing, or going to the concession stand, or just "Get the fuck out of this ring!" It was fucking ''horrible''. '''HORRIBLE!'''

-->I went to everyone in the locker room: "Do you have a pain pill?" I found two mis-matched pain pills from two different people in a wrestling locker room. Now if I would have been asking for weed or cocaine, I probably could've never fuckin' carried it all! But pain pills, no. Because they actually knew how to fucking work and didn't do stupid shit!

-->"The guy looks like shit, the guy can't fuckin' work... He's the epidemy of an indy wrestler, some jackoff that can wander into a barn and get in the ring and be allowed to do it. Chuck Taylor, what the fuck. Let's play the name game, Chuck Chuck bo buck banana fanna [[Main/ClusterFBomb FUCK YOU, take the fuck off!]] [[Main/ArsonMurderAndJaywalking And don't slander Kentucky while you're at it.]]"

-->"The guy looks like shit, the guy can't fuckin' work... He's the epidemy of an indy wrestler, some jackoff that can wander into a barn and get in the ring and be allowed to do it. Chuck Taylor, what the fuck. Let's play the name game, Chuck Chuck bo buck banana fanna [[Main/ClusterFBomb FUCK YOU, take the fuck off!]] And don't slander Kentucky while you're at it."

-->"The guy looks like shit, the guy can't fuckin' work... He's the epidemy of an indy jackoff that can wander into a barn and get in the ring, and be allowed to do it. Chuck Taylor, what the fuck. Let's play the name game, Chuck Chuck bo buck banana fanna [[Main/ClusterFBomb FUCK YOU, take the fuck off!]] And don't slander Kentucky while you're at it."

* After TNA Victory Road '11, Cornette [[AscendedMeme ascends]] the Cornette Face [[https://twitter.com/TheJimCornette/status/47428985910603777 on Twitter:]] "Just watched #TNA... I have to come up with a new face"

* In October 2022 Cornette did an in depth look at AEW's roster ([[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV7-vAzokDw&t=2492s in]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcBWwYm2OwI three]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2HKPHMI59k&t=2417s parts]]). Hilarity ensues throughout the nearly ''3 hours'' of audio, but the highlight is his comments on "The Kentucky Gentleman" Chuck Taylor.

* In July, 1996, Camp Cornette is set to face Wrestling/ShawnMichaels, Wrestling/AhmedJohnson and Wrestling/TheUltimateWarrior at an In Your House PPV. When Warrior quit WWF, Cornette gloats on it being a three-on-two match. Cue Shawn revealing they have a replacement...''[[Wrestling/SidEudy Sycho Sid]]''. Cornette's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdvMGcf9Tyw freakout is glorious]].

-->"I was on Starrcade and Wrestlemania. You booked the invisible man. Fuckin' see yourself out."

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyruyxQm1zs&list=WL&index=59 Impact wrestling can go fuck themselves!]]

* Any moment when Jim really gets wound up can count as this, but his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TipPfCsICiE epic rant]] about Wrestling/VinceRusso is nothing short of spectacular, particularly when he ''explodes'' at about 3:30 into the video.

** [[EnforcedMethodActing Cornette didn't even know it was being filmed at the time]], making this a [[StealthPun gut-busting]] case of HarpoDoesSomethingFunny. You can hear his thoughts on the Incident [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_R9aKiu2Uw in this video.]]

-->"First of all...Bobby fell like this--''(whoosh!)''. Dennis fell like that--''(whoosh!)''. I fell like this--''(BAM!)''. Bubba's standing there--he never played baseball, I guess; he lost me in the lights, I dunno--when I let go, it was like I could hear the tornado coming; it was like the wind was whistling in my ears for five or six minutes, before I hit the ground. When I let go, and--''(fwoosh!)'' next thing I knew the back of my head exploded. What had happened was he's standing there like that and I went completely through his arms. And he looks down like that and when I hit, and my knee bent completely sideways in a matter other than which nature intended, it caused me to whiplash back and the back of my head hit his knee, fortunately knocking me temporarily senseless, and serving as a natural anesthetic to the fact that a bone might be sticking out my leg!"[[note]]It wasn't, but he did tear his ACL[[/note]]

-->"First of all...Bobby fell like this--''(whoosh!)''. Dennis fell like that--''(whoosh!)''. I fell like this--''(BAM!)''. Bubba's standing there--he never played baseball, I guess; he lost me in the lights, I dunno--when I let go, it was like I could hear the tornado coming; it was like the wind was whistling in my ears for five or six minutes, before I hit the ground. When I let go, and--''(fwoosh!)'' next thing I knew the back of my head exploded. What had happened was he's standing there like that and I went completely through his arms. And he looks down like that and when I hit, and my knee bent completely sideways in a matter other than which nature intended, it caused me to whiplash back and the back of my head hit his knee, fortunately knocking me temporarily senseless, and serving as a natural anesthetic to the fact that a bone might be sticking out my leg!"

-->'''Cornette''': What are you trying to do to me?! Camp Cornette is not getting in the ring with that guy, he's a nut! They've traded out the gas chamber for the electric chair!