- From The Purple Man:
Charlie's Mother: How many people spend their evenings painting their sons purple?Charlie: Only the coolest people.Charlie's Mother: Only the coolest people... This kind of thing can only happen at our house.
- "I'm filming this from my little sister's bedroom. (Beat) That's not creepy, is it?
- "And now that I've made these balloon animals, I'm going to do what any loving parent would do to their children... which is destroy them with a pair of scissors.
- The whole "Time Travel" Web-video-thingy.
- All of The Other Charlie, most notably, "According to my personal level of evil, the most evil thing I can do Nice Charlie is... THROW WATER IN HIS FACE. That's... that's horrible. I like that."
- Charlie attempting to speak in an American accent.