- Parker Posey's character freaking out over losing a dog toy named "Busy Bee".
- The scene where Christopher Guest's character lists all the different types of nuts: "Peanut, cashew nut, pine nut, pistachio nut, red pistachio nut, all-natural white pistachio nut..."
- Stefan and Scott's Shih Tzu calendar.
Stefan Vanderhoof: [discussing the calendar] We're not gonna sell, just give it out to friends.
Scott Donlan: I think we should try to sell it.
Stefan Vanderhoof: Really?
Scott Donlan: Yeah.
Stefan Vanderhoof: Well, if we could give the money to Shih Tzu rescue.
Scott Donlan: They have plenty of money.
Stefan Vanderhoof: Well so do we.
Scott Donlan: What Shih Tzus need rescuing anyway? You don't see Shih Tzus straggling around the streets in an old coat "help, alms for the poor".
Stefan Vanderhoof: Like the little match girl.
- Announcer Buck Laughlin: "To think in some countries, these animals are eaten!"
- On watching a bloodhound go through the judging process: "Hey, you know what would be funny, I don't know if they can do this, why doesn't he put on one of those little Sherlock Holmes hats and put a little pipe in his mouth, are they allowed to do anything like that, dress them up in any way?...I'd get a kick out of it!"
- Larry Miller's character describing the gory details of his job as a hostage negotiator during dinner.
They all jump.