- Just listen to the opening song, "Epiphany". Identity crisis and depressing? Yes. Some CMOF instants? Hell yes.
- Peter's mother's entire monologue.
Peter's Mother: Our first reading today is the story of how despite the best efforts of a single mother, a child can still go horribly, horribly wrong. For his eighth birthday, Peter asked for an EZ-Bake Oven; his father asked for a divorce. To me the link between those two events was as strong as Peter's attraction to my makeup table. We sent him to Catholic boarding school thinking it might help but when he met his roommate Jason, the two of them locked eyes and I said to myself, "Claire, you wanted grandchildren, instead you're gonna get ambiguous Christmas cards from South Beach."
- Followed up by the ridiculous hymn.
Please join us in singing our offertory hymm, #279, "A Bender Among Us". There's a bender among us he must be exposed. He'll kidnap our children then take off their clothes. A bender among us there's pink in our flock— a boy without conscience who's led by his—
Peter's Mother Cockamaimy!
- Jason: "She's a great girl, but she's just not you." Peter: "...Did you just call me a girl?"